Hopeleslly Depend
2. shoes

When there is a little doubt in your heart,

say it immediately, ask immediately

Find the answer immediately,

before it's too late and so it's useless.

04.08.2019

06.00am

"Pip pip pip pip pip" today's alarm sounds a little different, other than he sounds earlier than usual, I guess because today there's also something that I've been waiting for. The atmosphere this morning feels very different from usual, even the oppa smile on my phone service also tastes sweeter like sugar.

"this is if the sugar in the life, hehe early in the morning has diabetes" I said while staring at my cellphone screen.

Getting out of the bed feels much easier than usual, is the gravity of my mattress has reduced, I don't know. Do not forget when passing through the glass I did my ritual, yap staring at the face and circling with a smile.

"happy tumben?" teased my sister with her confused look.

"when am I not happy?" my answer is short

"usually normal, today is a bit different for you, right? what's the matter?" ask her again while pouring water into the glass.

"dating" I answered.

"uhuk uhuk, what?" his screams after choking.

"later I'll tell you yes, now your beloved sister wants to take a shower first" I replied as I stroked her hair with a happy smile.

"who is it?" while following me to the bathroom with his shocked face.

"cum!" I extended my index finger to his forehead.

While humming melodiously, I put on a soft but pretty date-style makeup, the hair that I usually let break down straight just like that today I made her a little wavy, wavy, I wear casual clothes with a feminine impression light blue shirt with balloon sleeves and subordinate straight cut jeans, do not forget the sweet perfume for today.

I look in the mirror a million times to see if my hair is still wavy, does my makeup still look fresh, does my shirt tangle?, do I think too much about my appearance?, I don't know.

09.00am

After dressing up neatly, I sat in the family room while watching TV, my phone notification reads, it turns out a message from Ian.

"i left home a little afternoon huh, haha this just woke up" he wrote in the following with an emoticon of awkward laughter.

"iya gapapa" I replied.

"you've had breakfast, right? we'll have lunch outside" he said.

"yes, really just woke up?" reply to make sure.

"yes, if you have a holiday, you wake up in the afternoon" Ian replied.

"oooh, okay" I said briefly.

In my heart, I wonder, am I overzealous? get up early and dress up in the morning. But it's not Ian's fault, either, I didn't ask what time we met. Without realizing it, my face became a little moody. I took a deep breath while saying in my heart.

"Ririn, don't fly too much!"

"kok haven't left yet? ain't she?" ashana asked while carrying a snack in a jar and sitting next to me.

"lost the day" I answered.

"kok dance in the morning? how do you pout?, pity, she's the one who's clocking her up huh?" ashana said in a mocking tone.

"what the hell, can't you, can't you get ready early?" answer me pout.

"continue to pout? you think I don't know huh? I know what you look like" with the tone of the protagonist I timped with a flat laugh while taking a snack in a jar that Ashana brought.

11.30am

Unknowingly I fell asleep watching TV joking with Ashana, and it was eleven o'clock in the afternoon. I looked at my phone for a moment maybe there was an incoming notification, and sure enough three messages from Ian came in at 10:30 earlier.

"i went to Deo's house, he asked to be picked up"

"you're ready, aren't you?"

"it's brightening up again"

I haven't been able to answer a message from Ian, there was a sound of a car being heard entering the yard, and yes, he arrived with two friends Deo and Clara. Just by looking at it they already look like a contemporary child with thousands of instagram followers, when compared to me who I work and far from the current word, I am nothing. I let them in for a moment to straighten my legs, and Ian introduced me to his friends.

" it's Deo, it's Clara" Ian said as he glanced at his friend.

"this is Irene, who I told you about yesterday" while turning her eyes towards me.

" Irene" I said as I shook their hands.

"do you want to be with him?" clara said as she gave a mocking look to Ian.

"what the hell" said Ian.

"it's been a few days Ian the story goes on, until you're the boss" Deo said.

I just smiled and said their words.

Long story short we also went to the cafe restaurant in the city center, a journey of about 15 minutes from my home. Ian sat in the steering wheel and to his left Deo, Clara and I sat in the back seat.

On the way, the air felt a little awkward, maybe because this was the first time I met Ian's friends, besides that I didn't really understand their conversation either. Maybe because our world of work is different, they are permanent employees at one of the banks, and I am only a contract employee at a smartphone company, different family backgrounds also add to the differences in this conversation. It felt like I was watching a talk show, a conversation between the host and the exciting guest star and I was the audience, watching every word they said, she said, when they laugh I smile, not because I don't want to be late in their conversation, but it's impossible for me to contribute to the dialogue in the script while I'm just a spectator.

Unwittingly we have arrived at the parking lot of one of the cafes & restos in this city. I usually come here just for the gathering held by the office, and of course the current atmosphere feels very different.

" two vietnamese coffees, red velvet iced her one another green tea latte iced her one mas" ian said to the cafe employee and then smiled flatly while raising his eyebrows when he saw me who I replied with a small nod. 

Isn't that sweet?, Ian still remembers what drink I always ordered. Not wanting to dissolve in the sweetness that seemed to cause diabetes this instant I followed them to the table with two large sofas on both sides.

"play uno yuk" said Clara before she could sit down and take uno cards near the cashier.

"we said yes?" deo replied while shaking his head.

"let's make it exciting" said Ian.

The four of us were dissolved in an endless game of uno, interspersed with small talk and jokes that enliven the atmosphere.

"eh someone left behind in the car, Ian Temenin take a moment away" said Clara suddenly in the middle of this almost boring game.

"hhmm~" said Ian as he rose from his seat.

It's just me, Deo and the awkward feeling at our table. Not being able to stand this situation, I looked several times at the entrance hoping Ian and Clara would return quickly.

"so, what do you think of Ian?" tanya Deo broke the mood.

"yes, no matter what, hehe, yes" I replied awkwardly.

"that's how?, Ian has told me a lot about you lately" he said with a thin smile.

"his son is good, his thinking is quite critical, exciting as well" I said.

"who makes you want to be like him max me out, what?" tanya Deo was curious.

"want?, what?, friends?, if friends do not choose choose anyway" I replied confused

"with what the hell?, not that deket already?, you could say gebetan right?, or even already girlfriend?, Ian told me his intention really wants to be the same you, you know, but you don't tell him I told you this story" Deo said.

"nothing yet, still a possible process? hehe" I replied confusedly.

"but already. ." Deo's sentence was interrupted because suddenly the cafe speaker played a happy birthday song, happy birthday, following up with several employees carrying several balloons inscribed with birthday greetings and a name on top of her, Irene.

Out of nowhere suddenly Ian and Clara appear carrying gifts and green birthday cakes with simple decorations and also happy birthday writing, not to forget with a name, Irene. All eyes were on our table, which held a surprise birthday party during the day. Ian also pointed the cake in his hand in front of me.

"make a wish" she said with a sweet smile.

Putting my hands together and closing my eyes, I said my wish in my heart, and blew away the candle that started to burn itself.

"thank you" I said as I looked at them.

"happy birthday, the first time I met directly this annual anniversary" said Clara while giving chips.

"hopefully granted his hope" said Deo briefly.

"hopefully the more sip yes, the more staple it is in good terms" Ian said as he stroked my head lightly.

"yes, thank you" I said.

"this gift is opened later, I'm ashamed if it's open now" said Ian while giving a black box with a large red ribbon.

"what the hell, what the hell is it?" my many.

"it's home" said Ian.

Time passed quickly, not realizing the sun had shown its orange rays while sinking after dusk. We went to a store that sold Korean food, actually this was Clara's idea, but I also agreed and we finally left.

Our conversation continued as we waited for our order to arrive.

"how long have you been working?" ask Clara.

"about two years, there are no biannual anyway, the matter used to finish graduating from college briefly, but can not continue" I replied.

"why? how not to continue?" ask Deo.

"there's a little bit of family money" I replied briefly.

"means just work now? isn't that in college?" ask Deo.

"kalo could have been from the beginning of my college, but can't" I replied.

"there will be a campus that can be while working" said Deo.

"it doesn't matter the time anyway, eem~, I work not only for me, but for adek also, father never gave me money abis wed again a few years ago, a few years ago, yes even now divorced, but there is no rest, it has been asked all the same ex-wife" I explained to them.

"eemm~, did your father marry again?, kept your birth mother?" ask Clara.

"my mother doesn't exist, already from my 2nd grade, which means it's been about 15 years" I replied.

"sorry, I don't know" said Clara as she hugged me.

" no papa" I replied with a smile.

"already the interview" said Ian with his worried face.

We also changed the topic of our conversation, while eating the food that has been served on our front desk. Canda and joking were often passing between us.

20.00

While drying my hair after taking a shower, in front of the makeup mirror in my room I sat down daydreaming and emptying my mind, which I often do, somehow it feels like I'm re-fresh the body and mind. Remembering the gift that Ian gave me earlier, I took it, and opened it. My curiosity instantly turned into a sense of shock, confusion but also pleasure when I saw the contents of the gift box. A pair of shoes with heels that are not so high, black with a sweet model. For a moment my mind was reminded of some Korean drama with its shoe gift myth, after all it was just a myth right, and also, we are different countries, different countries, I smile again while convincing myself that these shoes will take me to walk on the beautiful road ahead, with Ian of course.

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