I'm Your Wife Not a Statue
A painful start

Exactly one year of my marriage, but not like a couple in general. My marriage is far from romantic.

Em, yes.my husband and I married not because of love, but because of an arranged marriage. My husband is a leader at one of the companies in Jakarta, who is 25 years old. He was asked to marry soon, while my own family company was on the verge of collapse. Somehow it all started. Suddenly my mother met me and talked about our matchmaking.

Obviously I refused this matchmaking culottes, I still want to enjoy my free time at 22 years old. Become a famous writer and achieve my dreams. But in order to save my parents' company, I was forced to accept their decision.

Although there are 1 roof with husband and wife status, but in fact we are like 2 strangers who do not know each other, more precisely I am alienated by him, my own husband.

I always acted like a wife in general, making breakfast, dinner, preparing everything she needed, but inversely proportional to her, she considered me not in her life, never once did he appreciate what I did for him, the dishes I always made always ended up in the trash.

It has been a year since we were married but her cold attitude towards me has not changed in the least.

If asked why I'm still sticking with her, the answer is simple, because I love her.

Yeah, love, that feeling just popped up, a few months after we got married, but I'm sorry, I'm the only one who felt it.

"you're up, let's eat, I've prepared breakfast for you"

There was no response in the slightest, he walked past me, I was used to being treated like this, considered a stone by him. Today was a weekend, so my husband and I had no activities, I spent my own day at home working on the novel I was editing. Just me, because my husband has been gone since morning somewhere. Even though I am married, I still work at one of the big publishing companies.

I never demanded my rights as a wife, for example monthly money. It's been a year of our marriage, never once did he give me money, no problem, anyway I work.

The clock on the wall was showing almost 1 pm, lunch was also presented on the table, I was waiting for him to come home, but did not come, without realizing I just went to bed because waiting for him. With his hands resting his head on the table, like a fool. What exactly did I expect, he came and sat down to eat with me, ahh, stop imagining.

The food I make must be wasted for the umpteenth time, energy, money, time, all wasted. After finishing the food on the table, I chose to go into the room to clean myself. Before long the apartment door opened, it must be him, who else knows the password of the apartment besides him.

I tried to refrain from going out of the room, but this heart could not be invited to work together, my feet actually stepped out of the room to meet him.

"you're home, are you hungry, I'll have dinner ready for you"

Don't say a rejection sentence if he doesn't want to, just look at me he's reluctant. Maybe I was just considered a lifeless statue by him, a slick smile on my face, maybe he realized that.

...

I woke up at 3 in the morning, I was used to waking up at such an hour to perform evening prayers, before starting to worship, I usually drink a glass of water first. I step on my feet towards the kitchen, how surprised I am to see the figure of a man sitting on a chair with ramen still billowing on the table. I dare to start a conversation.

"Why don't you wake me up, if you're hungry I can make you some food"

"Stop acting like a wife in front of me, I'm disgusted at your disgusting, sickening behavior" she replied.

Deg

Disgust she said, I was so disgusting in her eyes. Crying, I don't cry, harsh words have become a daily meal for me, I do love her, but to cry for her rude attitude towards me, I don't think necessary, I'm not a melancholy woman.

I took the water immediately and passed it away.

...

Like the day before, I was busy with the kitchen and the house, preparing breakfast for me and my husband, even though in the end, only I would eat. After wrestling with cooking utensils, I took the time to dry clothes that I had washed first and then prepared to dress for work.

After I finished sitting at the dinner table waiting for him to take breakfast together, a few minutes later, I heard footsteps rushing down the stairs, I quickly went to her to offer her a meal.

"Fahri, I've prepared sara---"

"Surge! don't block my way" I was pushed a few steps back to hit the wall, because of it.

"Famey! what's up, I just offer you to eat, you don't have to push me like this" my tone started to rise, he was always cold and blurting out harsh words at me, but only this time his hands come into rough play, I do not accept with his attitude, my parents just never raised the tone of his speech to me.

He turned around, looking at me with an intimidating glare.

"How many times have I told you, stop acting like we're a normal couple! STOP CARING ABOUT ME, DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND EITHER"

"We won't be able to live a normal life, you know sha. So I beg you, stop pretending like you're happy with this fake marriage" she continued, in a pleading voice, but every sentence she spoke was full of emphasis.

"So all this time you thought our marriage was a fake, after a year of living together, what do you consider the Kabul hijab that you said in front of my parents, is it also fake?"

"Yes! everything is fake, I never wanted this marriage, I hate it! never mind, I don't want to spoil my mood in the morning" He just left me after everything he said to me. While I sat back at the dining table holding a chest that began to feel tight, while occasionally laughing, more precisely laughing at myself. Not wanting to dissolve, I put all the food I cooked into the lunch box and took it to the office.

...

.....

"Yes, nesha's coming home this weekend, mah!"

"Hem, Nesha is also very fond of mama"

My mother called, I was asked to visit her, I didn't come home for a long time, she also asked me to take Fahri, but that's not possible, she always refused if I took her to my mother's house, this time the answer is the same.

....

Even though she knew she would refuse, but still I took her, I sat next to her cool with a cell phone in her hand, I don't know what he saw so comfortable looking at that flat object.

"Fahri, do you have any activities tomorrow?"

"no, tomorrow is the weekend so I'm not going to the office" he replied coldly without shifting his focus from the phone screen.

"I also know Tomorrow you don't go to the office it's just a stale" my mind grumbled.

"Would you come with me to my mother's house, mother asks us to meet her"

"no, I'm busy" he replied.

"Fahri's brief, mom's badass, she wants us to come together"

"I said no! yes no! are you deaf" his tone began to rise, he turned his eyes back on the phone screen, after giving a snaps for me.

I didn't want to argue with her any further, I left her and went into the room, I started tidying up the clothes I was going to bring to my mother's house tomorrow. I'll stay there for 2 days, although go alone I'm still excited, I've missed my family, I've missed my family, I just need to make excuses if my husband can't come because of his busy work at the office.

After I finished I laid my tired body on the bed, looking at every inch of the room I had occupied for the past year. My mind was reminded of my mother's words "if first love is hard to forget".

I felt that what mom said was true, before marriage I had never been in a serious relationship with a man. Until my mother asked me to marry Fahri, I can say I started feeling that feeling with her, yes, Fahri was my first love.

His rude attitude, his cold attitude, indifferent, no matter his. It doesn't change my feelings for her at all. Sometimes I think I want to forget it, want to throw this feeling for him but it's not easy, it just makes me more tormented. I don't know how long I'm going to survive this one-sided love. Maybe one day I will get tired and choose to give up, sacrifice my first love, we will see in the future only time will answer.

POV author

The sound of the door surprised Nesha who was focused on thinking of beautiful words to pour in her script. The sound of doors opening brutally from the outside. Nesha turned around with her shocked face, she saw Fahri who was standing in the doorway staring intently at her.

"Fahri, what's wrong?"

"Where's the blue tie you washed yesterday"

"I've put her in the drawer where your tie is" Nesha walked over to Fahri, with reading glasses still perched in her eyes.

"I've been looking for everything but the tie isn't there, I don't want to know you have to find the tie"

Nesha walks past Fahri and into his room, Nesha opens every drawer in Fahri's room, until she finds a tie in her car. Nesha brought the tie to Fahri.

"Other times you search carefully, and also if you need my help, you can ask for it well, you almost broke my door, Fahri "

Fahri seizes the tie from Nesha's hand violently.

"This is my house, and the room you're in is mine, you're just hitchhiking and being a prankster in my life"

"i'm your wife, Fakhri "

"Wife said? yep! wife on paper"

Nesha was no longer able to argue further, Nesha chose to leave Fahri who was the hardest emotion.

"As for you, I'm tired"

And so was the tired night that Nesha had to go through with endless quarrels.