Love In Sketches
Accepting the Reality
"Why should Mega's arrival make me angry? I don't even have the right to be angry." Rubby then woke up from his seat.
"Rubby..." Arya pulls Rubby's arm, stopping her steps.
"I didn't know Mega was coming today." Arya tried to explain.
"But you guys keep meeting, right? Then what are you two doing? Missing each other? Hugging and kissing?" Lecar Rubby, Arya gasped to hear it. It turns out that his wife is the same as Andika, thinking he did something no-no with Mega.
But isn't it natural for Rubby to think that way? They have not met for a long time, will definitely let each other miss. Hugs and kisses are very common for lovers. And see, her husband's reaction? The man was silent, making Rubby even more convinced by his conjecture.
"What's wrong if I'm trying to accept reality? Mas's lover has already come, it's not impossible that Mas will return to him." Continue Rubby in a soft voice. Rubby brushed off Arya's hand on her arm and was about to step away. But Arya pulled him back, this time Arya brought Rubby in her arms. A pair of Netra Arya stared in those eyes of mine.
"Listen Rubby, my relationship with Mega is over, I don't have any feelings for her. And just so you know, I've never messed with Mega even though we've been dating for so long." Arya's words were full of emphasis, and between believing and not Rubby heard it.
"Mas might assume that, but not with Mega. She still loves you, and thinks Mas is her lover." Tympano Rubby with a vibrating voice.
"Rubby..."
"I'm just trying to accept the reality, I want to fortify myself. If one day Mas would prefer to be with Mega, at least it doesn't feel too painful for me." Sela Rubby, she pushes her husband's body slowly.
"Take me off, Mom." Sluggishly. Arya let go of her hook.
"How can you think like that?" Arya asked who stopped Rubby. The two look back at each other.
"Then what should I think if my husband's girlfriend comes back? While my own husband never honest with me about himself who turned out to still be in a relationship with his girlfriend. What am I supposed to think, Mom?" Lecar Rubby, shed the tears that have been in his custody since.
"I kept quiet, I knew Mas was still in touch with Mega. You guys are still exchanging messages. I waited until I was honest with you about your relationship. But Mas never said anything. And I should have been self-aware, Mas married me for being forced to. I have absolutely no meaning in your eyes. I'm just a wife my husband never wanted..."
Arya looked at the face of his wife who was wet with tears. This is the first time he's seen Rubby cry. His heart ached to see Rubby crying like that.
Without Arya knowing, Rubby always cried in his solitude.
"Rubby..." His hand stretched out to wipe away Rubby's still-flowing tears, but Rubby brushed it off.
"I'm sleepy, Mas. I want to sleep." Rubby wiped his tears, and went to bed.
A roll Rubby put in the middle of the bed, before he finally covered his entire body with a blanket and began to close his eyes.
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Rubby raised his face, looking at Arya who was already asleep.
"What do you really want, Mom? Why are you hugging me again? Do you think of me as a sleep warmer? I never understood your attitude. Mas said that Mas's relationship with Mega is over, but you are still exchanging messages. Mas forbid me to be close to another man, but Mas delirious the name of another woman. Mas did not acknowledge me as a wife in the presence of Mas's friends, but Mas admitted me as a wife in front of my employees. Mas just said he didn't love Mega anymore, without saying how Mas felt about me, but Mas kissed me. What exactly do you want? What does it mean to you?"
The actual words Rubby wanted to say, but unfortunately Rubby could only say them in his heart.
It felt like Rubby was shouting so loudly, but he could only go back to holding back his cries. And within a few seconds, he was already sobbing.
Arya was awake, realizing the body she was hugging was shaking as if crying stifledly. And sure enough, there was a sobbing sobbing sound from Rubby who was in his arms.
Why is Rubby crying again? Did I hurt her too much? Yeah, I've gone too far. All this time I never paid more attention to her, and I was just busy with my own world. It's only natural that Rubby asks what he means to me. I still care about the messages from Mega without ever caring about how my wife feels. I realized just how much my wife meant when there was another man trying to get close to her. I'm selfish, I never think about my wife's own feelings.
"I'm sorry, Rubby. I didn't realize I hurt you." Whisper Arya, he tightened his embrace. Rubby's sobs are becoming more and more clear.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." Arya showered Rubby's head with her kiss. There was not a word coming out of Rubby's lips, there was only a sound of stuffing there.
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Dawn. Rubby tidied his face again after performing the congregational dawn prayer with her husband. After waking up, the two did not engage in any conversation.
Suddenly a pair of hands coiled around her slender waist, making Rubby freeze. Arya hugged him from behind.
"You still mad at me?" Arya asked right in her ear. Rubby could feel the warmth of her husband's breath.
"I've never been mad at you, Mom." Sluggishly.
"Rubby, look at me." Arya turned Rubby's position to face him. In the grip of the girl's face, he stared at her eyes that looked swollen.
"Listen to me. At the beginning of the marriage, I was unable to accept your presence. Because I'm still hurting from Mega's betrayal. I wanted to heal my heart first, but suddenly Mama forced me to marry you. I keep my distance from you because I don't want to make you my only escape and my lust. I don't want to ruin you. I want to touch you when there's love between us. Mega's been calling me all this time because I haven't told her anything. I want to end my relationship with Mega kindly, say it directly to her." Arya explained. But Rubby was silent, there was only doubt in his eyes.
"We'll meet Mega and tell her the truth." Arya.
"I'm not sure Mega will just let go of her lover, let alone Mega still loves Mas Firaz..."