Love Story (The Series)
Chapter 14's
...Beautiful Dream...
Tonight I want to be able to sleep well, I want to dream beautiful I just want to see the good and fear the darkness. It was cold tonight I couldn't live with the weather so bad for me, I should have been able to sleep even with this old little fan, but how else today I should be able to live this way.
I don't know how all this can happen how everything can look but I don't know I can only see it from myself. I wrote on a paper about everything strands by strands of paper I scratched and I painted all the stories at that time. I sang along with the melody inexplicably our relationship was falling apart no matter what. I don't know why this love story got so weird "I thought, no one could give me an answer" I said. Everything is ironic, I don't know if everything is enough. Let time answer.
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Not the story of Romeo and Juliet whose story is written and also filmed, nor about the famous Rama and Shinta. Not a rich man, just an ordinary man, not a writer but just someone who wants to express every feeling through the verse of words and also the ink scratches that I pour with my heart and feelings.
The sweetly written annual temple of my love story with him that sits in the courtyard of love together with my heart that is always ringing with the whispers of his love so sweet, so sweet, indefinitely revealed but I can't say. I'm just someone who adores him in the distance, I'm just someone who tries hard to stay loyal to him even if I'm just behind the distance, don't ask me how I feel if you can't move on from the past that haunts you because it's so unfair.
The splashing sound of the rain rushing from the drops to the sound of a loud, not enough one but thousands of puddles of water swept over my shoulders and drenched me, not enough one, I just fell silent while letting every puddle of rain and also the boisterous sound of the wind blow fiercely on my face. I'm a nobody, I'm not the director who made my documented life journey into a movie. Even in the crowd I was still alone and feeling lonely, like there was only a firefly accompanying me in the silence. I'm just me and not him, let me keep this feeling at a distance because maybe you're not for me and maybe this feeling will one day go away on its own.
What our relationship is just a friend or more, why it feels hard to knock on your heart door and talk that I need you so much, until one day you leave me alone, it feels like I'm a selfish person just hoping and adoring you when you don't have any feelings for me at all. I love you so much even though I realize my love is clapping one hand, even though I try to be patient with all that and hope someday you can accept me.
"Why the hell do you keep my deketin?" Ask while away
Then I held her hand, and she was about to take her hand off me. Then for a moment I hugged him.
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" My love hugged him tightly
"I want our relationship to be more than just friends!" Add me
Not much I know from Ikbal the figure of a cool guy and also be the center of attention wherever he is, a guy who has a handsome face even looks perfect for me, he said, it feels like an impossible thing for me even this is like a dream can the heck an unpopular girl like me, like me, looks are also mediocre plus I'm not as beautiful as a soap star can have a guy like Ikbal like it's just a dream. It feels like he is perfect for my girlfriend is not only his height that makes me feel protected but also he is perfectionist.
Let love teach you about happiness, let friendship describe love, let your eyes burn with a blue, hearty mood. Friend hold my hand tie it with a sweet smile on your lips engrave it and reach every mind and also your imagination, along with a dream that will also be engraved with betrayal and also love even though I realize this is only a past I hope you always remember even though this is no longer possible for me to remember. Some are lost and some are gone some are asking about the meaning of love and also there is always a feeling of confidence in the friendship that is always built maybe it is because all is just the past that will be a mementomy memories of the future.
The past will change with the future as well as the happiness and tears that were once engraved when I was in high school, it feels like every time it repeats itself but it's all impossible because it's just a record of my story with my friends, carve achievements and love with every sacrifice and a sense of sharing and giving. Although I realized this was just a picture of my past to the point that I hoped it would all happen again.
What our relationship is just a friend or more, why it feels hard to knock on your heart door and talk that I need you so much, until one day you leave me alone, it feels like I'm a selfish person just hoping and adoring you when you don't have any feelings for me at all. I love you so much even though I realize my love is clapping one hand, even though I try to be patient with all that and hope someday you can accept me.
"Why the hell do you keep my deketin?" Ask while away
Then I held her hand, and she was about to take her hand off me. Then for a moment I hugged him.
"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" My love hugged him tightly
"I want our relationship to be more than just friends!" Add me
I'm just someone who hopes but will I continue to be a person who can only fantasize and also dream?
It feels like everyone is asking about when and who, someone who does not have a stand that is just boasting and wants to be understood, someone who hopes everything will be good when in fact it is not. Just one sentence is imprinted and also it feels like a selfish person who only ignores someone even though he himself does not obey in understanding even to be known. Is this karma is it just news? It feels like this delusion is too high or maybe I am too stupid.
I don't understand how this can happen, the relationship of courtship that once broke each other and made my ego ups and downs all the cliche stories that give intrigue and conflict that make it all continue to happen. Frankly I am emotional and make me unstable myself no longer understand what and should be how to maintain all my self-esteem and also my sense of responsibility and also the nature of my dependence on him, plus the nature of him who always set me up makes my life change 180°. Honestly this is a problem that I experience myself make me emotional and lost control I do not know I can date a million men who are too ambitious and also bear a lot of burden that should not be i'm bear.
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