Lust Last Night Impotent Man
144. I'm sorry
"I'm sorry, A, I don't mean to trust Arya more than—"
"Can't you love me yet, Dek? Can't you forget Arya?" Rama cut Sisil's words quickly, then pulled his car over. The feeling raged now and he could not focus on driving. So instead of an accident, it's better to just stop.
"I don't know, A," Sisil replied hesitantly while lowering his gaze.
"Can't you know?" Rama was confused by his wife's answer. "Say if indeed you have not loved and still love Arya. It's okay" he added, acting as if he was fine. Though seen from his sad face, it all illustrates how much his heart aches Rama.
"Not that I haven't loved Aa yet, but I myself am confused by how I feel" Sisil replied softly.
"Bunny?!"
"Yes. But whatever it is, I don't want to lose Aa." Sisil raised his face, then looked closely at Rama's eyeballs. "And I'm gonna learn to love Aa and accept our marriage."
"What is Brother Gugun, who asked you to do that?"
"Yes." Yeah." Sisil nodded and the answer again made Rama's chest throb pain. Slowly he leaned his back against the support of the chair, then threw his breath out violently.
"If it's like forcing you. Don't do that, Dek," asked Rama, then looked away and rubbed his face as he returned to drop tears.
"Why can't I do it, A?"
"I don't want you to feel burdened" Rama replied in a stifled voice. "Just marry you I'm lucky enough, so there's no need for me to force you to love me."
"What's that?" Sisil felt guilty. His feelings were not good either.
"Yes, it is. But ... Is it okay, I'm asking you for something, Dek?"
"What is that, A?"
"Whatever happens .. Please trust me more, than anyone else. Because I've always tried to be the best for you, Dek, even though I'm lacking a lot." Rama came back crying, but without a sound. Many times he wiped his tears.
"Whatever happens to that what does that mean? I don't understand, A?" Sisil shifted his body closer to Rama, then touched the back of his right hand. But the man, immediately pulled his own hand. "A's angry with me? I'm sorry, A."
"I'm not angry" answered Rama. "If about whatever happens, it means if there is something misunderstood again. We don't know what our relationship is going to look like. Moreover ... You still love your ex and have not been able to forget it."
"Masa? But I can't believe it, Dek."
"Said I had to trust Aa. But why don't you believe me?"
"You believe more in Arya than I do." Rama turned the question over from Sisil. "So how can I believe that you've forgotten Arya. While in college you always meet him, right?"
"I didn't see him, A!" resolute Sisil who began to raise his voice. "Sister Arya herself told me to talk, I was forced."
"Oh yeah? Aren't you happy, meeting Arya?"
"Kok Aa so suspicious of me, anyway?" Sisil became annoyed himself, let alone the face of Rama turned in another direction. Not looking at him at all. "I'm honest and I'm not at all happy to meet Arya's sister, A."
"It's good then" replied Rama expressionlessly. He immediately restarted the engine, then drove. "We go straight home now" he added later.
"Where to go, A?"
"Apartment."
"We went to Aa's parents' house. Don't go to the apartment."
"Don't you say you're scared of Daddy?" Rama asked, but he did not look at his wife's face.
"Kan Aa said that Daddy couldn't be that bad that made me crash. So I'm trying to believe it."
"okay." Rama nodded and pulled his car gas to get there faster.
"Aren't you angry with me, are you? I'm sorry, A."
"I told you I wasn't angry. Udah, I want to concentrate on driving so fast to arrive. You must be tired, don't you want to rest?"
"Yes." Yeah." Sisil nodded weakly, then stroked his hungry stomach. He also looked at the face of Rama who looked still expressionless, and again made him upset himself because he felt confused about the cause. 'He wasn't angry, but his face was so ugly. But I'm sorry. I also got a banana compote actually, A, kept feeding Aa. But why didn't I offer to eat?' sisil was sad.
...Wipe also you earlier, Sil 🤣...