Meeting on the city bus
24.Do you have trauma

"By Allah, I will never stay you here. I'm not a fool when I do that to women. I'm afraid of Dara's karma, for sure if I'm evil to you. It's not impossible, my family will get the impact. Especially my sister, who is still in school. I don't want him to accept his karma."Agus answered by looking at Dara with a serious look.

"Yes, I believe that you are a good person, sorry to offend you who have good intentions. I'm still traumatized by what I've been through lately. My fear kept haunting me, what else in a place I haven't memorized." Said Dara feeling bad for Agus.

After that both of them were just silent and busy with their respective thoughts. Then from the one looking out to the middle of the sea again shakes his shoulders. It was because he imagined something would happen if he got on a boat or a motor boat. What else he could not swim, the fear was so haunting him.

"How come you've had trauma with the sea?"asked Agus who saw Dara shudder.

"Maybe he doesn't want to go there himself, it's because he's scared too. Is it possible he had a trauma that frightened him if he were alone." His murmuring is in the heart.

Dara glanced at him, looking straight at the sea again."I didn't know it could be called trauma or something. To be honest, I'm very afraid of getting on a motorboat or a boat. That's why I don't want to go there myself." Dara replied, without looking at the interlocutor.

"When I've been there so many times I don't want to. But seriously if you want me to buy you a ticket and I'll wait here. The sea is calm again, God willing it is safe if you cross."Agus.

"I don't want to go there just look at the motorboat that is just swaying because of the sea waves."Answer Dara.

"Well, do you want to drink young coconuts? let's not order, right?"tanyanya Agus, but answered with a headband.

"What do you want to eat? which one, it's noon?"agus continued.

"I eat later buy myself mas, if mas Agus hungry buy it alone." Answer Dara.

Dara did not receive any gifts from Agus at all. The most beautiful memories in his relationship with Arta, it was always ringing in his mind. It is the same with Agus, always giving what Dara wants. So that they can get closer to each other.

Dara wants to get genuine attention, not in terms of the material that the man has. Agus did not sincerely give all that to Dara. But Dara's heart aches, with a man's attention. Closing himself off from his male name in his heart. It was all caused by Arta, who had betrayed her love and trust.

*

The relationship between men and women is often called courtship is one of the great sins in Islam. There is no word of courtship in Islam. Prohibition of dating in Islam, issued because courtship only brings harm. “Cannot be between a man and a woman alone unless accompanied by his muhrim, and a woman should not travel unless accompanied by his muhrim.” (H. R. Muslim).

Some of the causes of dating are prohibited in Islam include:

Zina included

Dating is a matter that belongs to the unforgivable sin, namely adultery. Zina in Islam is forbidden. As the word of God:

وَلَا تَقْرَبُوا الزِّنَا ۖ إِنَّهُ كَانَ فَاحِشَةً وَسَاءَ سَبِيلًا

Meaning: “And so you are close to zina, because actually zina is dirty and ugly Jalan” (Q.S. Al Isro’ :32)

The Prophet said: “Taking note on the son of Adam his fate from adultery and he must have experienced it. His two eyes saw, his two ears heard, his zinas spoke, his zinas forced (holding hard), his zinas stepped (walking) and a heart of desire and hope. All of it is allowed (direalized) by the genitals or thwarted.” (Sukhari).

Creating the wrath of Allah SWT

The Prophet said:

“O Muslims, fear you for adultery because there are 6 things (that are certain to be fulfilled), 3 things in the world and 3 things in the Hereafter. The 3 things in the world are the loss of the dignity of the face, the shortness of age and the eternal fidelity, while the 3 things in the Hereafter are the wrath of Allah, the Most Barakah and the Most Exalted, ugly isaban and torment endot” (HR Baihaqi)

Revivify lust

Those who do courtship will certainly provoke their own passions. Even with a soft voice. As Allah SWT says:

يَٰنِسَآءَ ٱلنَّبِىِّ لَسْتُنَّ كَأَحَدٍ مِّنَ ٱلنِّسَآءِ ۚ إِنِ ٱتَّقَيْتُنَّ فَلَا تَخْضَعْنَ بِٱلْقَوْلِ فَيَطْمَعَ ٱلَّذِى فِى قَلْبِهِۦ مَرَضٌ وَقُلْنَ قَوْلًا مَّعْرُوفًا

It means: “Hi wives of the Prophet, you are not like other women, if you fear. So do not bow down in speaking, so that the sick may desire in their hearts, and speak good words,”(Al Ahzaab:32)

From Jarir bin Abdullah ra : “I asked the Prophet SAW about looking (against the kind) that (awakening orgasm) unintentionally. Then he ordered me to divert (submit) my sight.” (CHR. Imam Muslim's).

Time loss

Dating is just an activity that also harms time because all the time is wasted for wasted work.

From Abdullah bin Umar he said: “Rasulullah Saw holds both my shoulders while saying, ‘Be ye in this world as if ye were strangers or men who pass by a path.’ Ibn Umar said.” If you are in the afternoon do not wait (do something) until the morning (come).  If you are in the morning do not wait (do something) until the afternoon (come). Use your healthy time to face your pain, and your life time to face your death.” (CHR. Bukhari) 

Improvident

Dating just makes a pocket. Throwing money away for nothing will only hurt the culprit. As Allah SWT says:

“And do not waste (your heart) lavishly. Verily the wasters are the brethren of Satan.” (QS. Al Isro’ :26-27)

Damaging social relationships

Dating will cause social relations or association in Islam with other friends to be tenuous, even relationships with family.  Lust that makes both people always want to be together takes time that should be used to gather with family or friends.

But often someone does dating because of friends, for that we must know how to find good friends in Islam so as not to fall into courtship.

Be stupid

And the result is that the minded brain of **** is not a reliable brain for the important advice in life that is included in the danger of ignorance in Islam.

Deaden the heart

Dating is the cause of death in Islam. The brain that has been damaged by dating will be difficult to receive good advice so that it will turn off the heart.

As Allah's Word : “Then are those who are opened by Allah in heart to (accept) the religion of Islam and then he gets light from his Lord (equal to those whose hearts are hardened)? And woe be to those whose hearts are hard to remember Allah. They are in real error (Q. S. az-Zumar :22)

Frequently lying

Dating often makes someone have to lie to always look attractive in front of his girlfriend. The danger of lying and its law in Islam is forbidden.

As in a story: “And I (Ummu Kulthum) did not hear that he gave rukhsoh (wavering) from the lie said by man except in war, reconciling between men, and making peace with the, a husband talks to his wife and wife talks to her husband”. (Dinukil of Riyadhush Sholihin, Bab. Al Ishlah bainan fate)

Illnesses

Not only does it cause liver disease according to Islam, but also physical illness.  Brain and body that excess hormone*n endorphins will cause the body susceptible to diseases such as headaches, ulcers, nausea, bloating, and other diseases.

Difficult to sleep

The desire to continue to meet and be together between two human people will continue to resonate as long as the two are still binding themselves in a dating relationship. The brain continues to rotate the shadow of the idol of the heart until it becomes difficult to sleep. One of the sleeping adab in Islam is ablution before going to bed like the way the Prophet slept

Causes stress

Who said that dating is fun?  The relationship besides being detrimental also causes stress. Someone who is in a relationship will always have anxiety about his partner.  Fear of being taken by people, fear of not being loved anymore, and other fears.  This is what causes people to date more easily stress and even depression. The way to relieve stress in Islam is not to approach dating.

13.  Accomplish

God says:

“And those who do not associate Allah with any other deity and do not kill the soul that Allah has forbidden except by (reason) that is true, and who does not fornicate and who does so, he will be severely punished, (i.e.,) he will double the torment for him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will remain in that torment, humiliated, except for those who repent, they believe and do good; and their evil deeds are replaced by Allah. Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Q. S. al-Furqan: 68-70)

The sustenance road is blocked

Dating is a big sin so it will block the path of sustenance of the culprit. As the word of the Apostle:

“Verily the soul of the qudus (Jibril), has whispered into my mind that every soul will not die until its perfect end and he spends all his provision rations. Therefore fear Allah and find a way to gain sustenance.

Do not let the delay of sustenance prompt you to seek it by means of devotion to Allah. For the sustenance of Allah will not be obtained except by obedience to Him (CHR. Musnad Ibn Abi Syaibah 8:129 and Thabrani in Al-Mu’jam Al-Kabir 8:166, hadith shahih. See Al-Ahadits As-Shahihah genealogy no. 2866).

It can lead to pregnancy outside of marriage

In addition to the zina of the eyes, hands, and mind, dating that is too extreme can also cause pregnancy outside marriage. Pregnancy outside of marriage is prohibited.  That is why Islam forbids courtship so that this does not happen.

*

This is all the impact of dating, which will only hurt yourself. Now all that makes Dara a deep trauma and it is not easy to believe in men who happen sweet.

"That I won't give Dara poison, will you see for yourself if it's food or drink directly from the seller."Said Agus, who was a little offended what he gave was always rejected by Dara.

"I know, but I don't want to burden anyone who isn't necessarily my husband." Said Dara, giving firmness to Agus.

Now he only understands, that Dara is not an easy girl to conquer. And now he believes that his girlfriend who can conquer the heart of women like Dara. But instead of wasting it, what a stupid man according to Agus.

He will seek to gain trust and conquer Dara's heart. That's even if Dara no one has conquered her. Because many men remember getting a girl like Dara.

Finally they had lunch and drank his tea bottles, and mineral water. And they pay for each other's meals.

This made the food and drink seller shake his head. Nowadays there are girls like Dara, who they find during selling on Muara Angke beach.

Which is where most girls from the past until now, when they were with a man. They will ask to buy this and that, and will not spend any money themselves.

The clock shows at 13:00 AM local time, Agus invited Dara home because they were both there for a long time. Now Agus through the road on the edge of the plane parking lot, which is passing around the airport. To find a good way even though it is further than the time to leave earlier.

Because he does not want to make Dara traumatized also while walking with him. Because the road they were on was badly damaged. And they almost fell, it also made the virgin scream pretentious. So Agus did not want it to happen back to them.

"The feeling was that we passed the road that turned left, didn't it?"ask Dara, who has not been easy for him to remember the way.

"Yes, I don't want us to slip up again, like this morning."Agus replied, and said a little stress the word slip.

"What if this way I know the way home won't be rough?"ask Dara who is afraid of going rough.

"God willing to ask if we stray, but I remember how the road to Puri is beautiful" he replied Agus, making Dara feel relieved and not afraid anymore.