Pilgrims
Stage Fright
“What do you mean, you're not that strong?” my question is not to understand.
Fox took a deep breath before then telling her with a serious face. “When I left Luis' house and didn't train again at the academy at the time, I felt very alone and didn't know what to do. I had a desire to form a new community that I really formed myself from scratch, but I didn't know where to start. I almost gave up and thought about stopping thinking about Capoeira. But Rio's meeting me. He was my only friend when I was studying at the academy. He said he had also quit the academy, because his fees had gone up since Luis' death and he could no longer afford to pay. I told her what happened to me and my desire to form my own community. He was the one who encouraged me and helped me form this community. So that's how, I was helped by him, I can't do anything when I'm alone.”
“So Rio also used to study in Luis academy?” many wonder.
“He didn't tell you that part, did he? We were both trained by Luis. As we shape this community, we strive to train our physiques to be stronger. We call it community, when in fact we're just the two of us. But at that time he said that someday there will be people who have the same feelings and determination as us. So we always wait. You, Leon, Pedro, even Gabriel I consider part of us now. I've been really excited lately and I've always tried to be a good leader, even though I'm not sure if I've done it right. Sometimes I think Rio is more appropriate for this position. But I always managed to defeat Rio in terms of strength and technique, which is why he insisted that I was the leader. He said I have the strength and charisma as a leader. I feel he is the most worthy of all this. You know for yourself how he is. He can always be an encouragement to others,” Fox explained at length. I heard him talk a long time ago this time.
"I agree on one thing with Rio" I chanted.
“About what?” ask Fox.
“About you're talented to be a leader. You're physically strong, obviously. But it's not just that, is it? You can let go of what you have for your faith. You also have the power to make others listen to your words. If it wasn't for your harsh criticism and rules, I wouldn't have mastered everything this well. You're really talented, you know? A leader always needs the help and support of others. That's what Rio did, supporting and helping you. The leader is still you,” I said reassure him. I want him to understand that he is special.
He just grunted again. “You really think I'm that great huh?”
“You are indeed that great,” timpalku. “At least I acknowledge you as the only woman who is greater than me, how about?”
Finally he laughed a little. “Well, I'm flattered. But I wonder, where does your confidence come from?”
“Now, since coming to this city my mood has always felt better.”
***
When I woke up this morning, I was very nervous. I'm a dilemma. I often make trouble, never afraid of being confronted. But I have acute stage fright. Today was my first day performing in front of a crowd.
Diego and Maria encouraged me, and told me that they would take the time to watch. I'm happy because there will be at least two people watching. But I'm getting nervous too.
My nervousness evaporated a little when I met my friends. Leon patted me on the shoulder, Rio cheered me on, Gabriel slightly mocked me and Fox smiled at me despite being so short.
During this week we took a leave of absence from our respective jobs, as the show would last all day for a week.
As we were getting ready where we were going to do the show, we saw a group of people walking past us. But unlike us, they seem to be a bit too late in terms of appearance. The equipment and costumes they wore were magnificent.
I nudged Rio's ribs then asked him. “Who are they?”
“One of the escort groups,” replied Rio.
“One of?” ask again.
“Does it matter where we get too close to them? We are only about a hundred meters away from them, isn't that too close?” I said to Rio.
“The settings are like that, so that the assessment is easier,” replied Rio.
“What are the rating rules like?” many confused. Only Fox and Rio were in the rules-setting meeting. So I don't know how exactly the jury judged him.
“Later there will be people from the local government in charge of counting and recording the number of viewers per show,” explained Rio.
“You're not worried we're rigged?” I said worried.
“Do not judge them all badly. Not everyone in the academy is like those cowards who bother us a few times. At least Mestre Jose who coordinated this match directly was an honorable person. He will act fairly, ” Rio said.
“But their preparations are festive once, ” I said again.
“You're worried no one's watching us?” this time Fox responded to me.
Because I didn't answer he spoke anymore. “We have also prepared everything well. This game is a bit detrimental to us, but makes us not afraid to lose. Perhaps they would be disappointed if their audience was a little, as they were more experienced in performing the show. Set your goals now so that your hard work this time will not be siasia whatever the results of the match later. Because what we want is appreciation even if it's just from an audience. You understand what I mean, right? We believe in your idea. So, don't let the fear of losing rule you.”
“I'm a little paranoid because I'm nervous. You're right, just do your best. Don't be afraid to lose,” I told myself.
“Come we start!” I took them with me steadily.
In a day, we plan to do six performances with each performance done in forty minutes. Our meagre personnel made us do all six performances without changing a single player in each performance.
Fortunately, our stamina is indeed comparable to the stamina of horses. The physical exercise that we routinely do is indeed useful at times like this.
Our performances are actually very simple when compared to the performances of the capoeiristas from the academy. But Fox's words were right, I felt a sense of satisfaction when someone was watching us even though it was only a little when compared to the number of people watching on the other side.
There were about 15-20 people watching our first show. I saw Maria waving at me in the crowd. It feels really good when we do something we like and are well appreciated by others.
The next show we did more loosely, not as hard as the first. Tourists who watched were also more crowded than the previous ones. But the point is not that. The point is we're happy to do it.
After noon, Maria came to bring us lunch. He and Diego really took the time to watch us on the first day. I was overwhelmed by their attention.
Overall, the first day was not so bad. Indeed in terms of the number of spectators we lost far from the opposing side. But I don't care. Seeing the audience entertained by our performance, although the numbers were not much, made me very happy.
***