Playing With Destiny
Chapter 3: The Last Day I saw her

7 Days after my mother's death I sat daydreaming in front of the porch remembering every detail that happened that day.

The morning before the tragedy happened, I actually had a strange dream. In the dream I was in a very large flower garden, but I felt foreign to the name of the flower.

At that time I was playing the guitar given by the father of the owner of the Guitar while enjoying the very cool air.

Before long the boy came with the umbrella again, after standing in front of me for a long time the boy suddenly began to lift his umbrella as if he wanted to show his face.

I was very curious and waited for him to show his face. Then suddenly...

"Wake up to noon!". My mother's voice suddenly popped out my dream.

To this day I still feel guilty because I snagged with my mother just because of that dream.

Even so, I who usually do not remember my own dreams, even remember them excessively and make me upset myself.

I shouldn't be able to take my frustration out on my mother, because all this time thanks to my mother I was able to go to school, moreover, I am a person who is very difficult to wake up and sometimes even likes to get angry when I need to get up early for school.

I miss the 4 healthy 5 perfect dishes made by my mother, mother always principled breakfast is very important and never once mother left my stomach empty.

Even though she was sick, she kept cooking for me and dad. I always hoped to be a good mother like my mother, but how ridiculous I was, even though I was still Junior I had gone too far imagining myself as a mother.

Come to think of it more and more days I think of it, indeed on that day everything felt strange.

Starting from leaving school as usual, after the night before I felt a headache so great then had a strange dream. Then also on the way to school arrived my feelings turned worse without me noticing.

At that moment I felt something really bad was going to happen and made me very nervous even on that very cold morning my sweat started to appear as well. My heart was pounding too, even I asked to go home in the middle of the trip and made my father angry.

"Huh? you don't joke shire! what was? you're not sick, are you?" . My father said he rejected my idea, but I wanted to go home so much and my gut feeling was that I should go home soon.

"Be aware of the Shire, tell me your reason why you want to go home? We will soon be going to school. He said this week you have to prepare for next week's try out?".

I immediately realized because I remembered my exam and I was very confused about myself who was not clear behavior. I decided to stay and go to school.

"If there's anything you'll call me, I'll pick you up".Said my father while rubbing my hair. I just nodded and immediately ran towards the class because it was too late. My mind felt very bad and my feeling said that I should go home soon.

Sure enough, it was only a while when the teacher came and started learning, my phone rang loudly because I forgot to be silent.

I was shocked and immediately rejected the call without me intentionally. I saw the call from my father, I was anxious and decided to leave class to call.

"Son, come home soon.. later you will be picked up by Budhe, right?".

"A..What's up?". I asked, but the phone was disconnected.

Dad didn't tell me what was going on, making me more anxious and curious. My mind asks what is this? A lot of bad thoughts popped up and attacked my head, I was curious but afraid to find out.

I immediately permit the homeroom teacher and take my bag in a hurry. After that I ran out to the school gate and sure enough Budhe had arrived to pick me up at school.

I hesitated for a moment in a few seconds for fear of hearing something bad that I would know in a moment. Amidst my doubts Budhe came up to me first and immediately hugged me tightly with his wet face filled with tears.

Budhe's face, which was very similar to my mother's, was filled with tears, making me look like a sad mother.

"You need to be strong, son! there's budhe and your other family". Bude said that worries me more.

"What is this budhe?"My toot. "Later.Budhe will tell. Now, mending us go straight up first, Budhe will tell you along the way". Budhe drove while occasionally his left hand wiped his tears.

For a while on the way I always prayed and prepared myself to hear the worst news. I who did not know anything at that time even chatted my mother and asked her what was really going on?

"Mom is everything okay at home?".

My mind feels strange because it is not usual for old mother to reply to my message.

After a while, Budhe finally told her everything that had happened. And sure enough my mom died of a heart attack, I still couldn't believe it and hoped that it was a dream.

I even broke up by sending another chat to my mother and asking if this was a dream. There was no reply from my mother, breaking my heart into pieces.

That afternoon was the last afternoon I met my mother. I still remember when I cried with the cool breeze and the green leaves around her adorned her tomb.

I shed all my tears over my mother's grave filled with fresh flowers. At that time I did not even want to leave even though people were forcing me. Father even tried to calm me down and force me to go home, but my heart could not leave my mother alone in that dark and cold land.

I can only continue to apologize to my mother, and I don't know what else to do. The future is bleak and I am afraid to live it.

For days I have been so late in this sadness, every day I still cry when I see my mother's empty room. Until now I have not found the motovasi to go to school, even though this is my last year in the 3rd grade of Junior High School.

I keep thinking and thinking about accepting it, but I can't, all these tragedies are really hard to accept. When I finally realized I had an advantage that felt more like a curse, now it scared me even more if there were other bad things.

I also started to blame myself for not being able to realize it sooner and maybe if I realized it sooner, I could prevent it.