Short Story For You
please understand me

Some piles of cardboard have been dropped off in front of the house with a yard that is not so big. One by one, I lifted the cardboard and put it in the house. I'm not alone, there's a mama who also lifts things.

It's the day you and your mom get divorced, as well as the day of freedom for both of them and the day of destruction for me. Mama easily accepted my custody, of course papa would not mind if I was with mama. Papa will be happy because there are no bullies in his new life.

This house is not as big as my house used to be, but enough for both of us to live in. Now we were in the guest room sorting things out.

" Your room is in front, let the mama in the middle" said mama transporting goods to her room.

I nodded in response and went back to sorting out my stuff. When I'm done I take her and I arrange everything in the room. When I finished getting my phone ready to play for a moment. But a message nontification surprised me while playing the game. It turns out that the message from papa, my heart cheered happily, has long since papa did not send a message even far before they decided to divorce.

" Your stuff is still left behind, just take it here "papa's message.

As soon as I could get ready and ride the bike to my house, ah I didn't mean my old house. I stand up the motor and I push the bell waiting for someone from inside to open the gate. Apparently my own father opened it. Is papa waiting for me ?.

" Oh you, let me take your stuff for a minute" said papa.

Papa went to the security guard post and took a medium-sized cardboard and gave it to me. I took the cardboard and looked at the contents. It turned out that it was all a photo of us, worthy of papa giving it to me. All of these are bitter memories.

I took a picture there of me and my dad embracing each other and smiling together. There's no mama so I guess papa can keep this. At least once you can remember me.

" Papa can save this photo" said I thrust a photo.

"No need, just take everything "he replied.

I smiled bitterly, I should have known this was going to happen, at least I wouldn't feel this sick. But rightly, I was stupid. But can you understand, just once please think of me as a child. Not as a mistake to throw away.

I smiled at him and asked for permission to go home. I put the cardboard on the front of the bike and then I went home. Let me keep this picture, I'm not sure if mom would be happy to see this.

Fortunately when I moved I had finished my Junior High, and soon the new school year would begin. I will sign up as soon as possible !. Actually, I was targeting a school that I wanted to go to. I'm more interested in SMK because I also have an interest in animation and it looks like I have to tell my mom.

Mama came home a little late, I know you have to work harder because it's the backbone now. I hope soon I can help my mom, of course after I work.

Mama sat down after putting her bag on the table. I approached my mother with a cup of tea I placed in front of her.

" Thank you" said Mama.

" Yes ma, oh yeah soon the school wants to enter, according to mama I have to list where ? " Tanyaku.

Mama slightly frowned, it seemed like she was thinking.

" At SMK it's pretty close from here" replied Mama.

I cheered in my heart, it turned out .mama agreed with my choice. " But you have to take accounting" said Mama again.

Accounting?, that's too different from animation. "Ma, I want to enter the animation" I said begging.

Mama sighed "what would it be if you entered the animation?, Editor ? You can learn self-taught. If you enter accounting at least after graduation you can work in a bank. More guarantee " said mama.

" But ma- ". My speech. " Oh yes mama cape, you also sleep "between mama.

Mama went straight to her room, "but I want an animation" I said. So I have to give up the same choice Mama ?. It seems like that, maybe mama will smile if I obey her orders..

In short, it has been 5 months I studied at a new school, I found a lot of difficulties because this is not my place. Friends here are also not very friendly when they know that I'm an out-of-wedlock child.  But, It's not my fault, I never asked God to make me in such a bad state. Papa and Mama got married at a young age because of a mistake and I was the mistake they made.

Various ridicule I have often found, but I will be silent as long as the scorn is me. Not papa or mama, I'll fight back if anyone talks bad things about them.

As long as I'm with my mama my life is a little confined, I can't move a bit to make my choice. Mama said she planned my life ahead of her. But he did not take any advice at all.

I actually wanted to talk nice with my mom, and say "why I want it not this. I know mama cape works all day for school and eat everyday. But may not my mother horrify me at least consider what I want. I also want to help mom but in my way and my tongue. Can you please ma?"

If I could, I sighed and put my notebook back. Mom will be home soon, I'll be waiting for her. Oh yeah this is so important, I don't want you guys to misunderstand me. Mama's not the antagonist here. Good mom I love mom and dad. The antagonists are the nature of those who do not pay attention to me.

That morning Rena found me in Rena's library saying she saw my mama with another man. I don't know why my heart feels claustrophobic, but I will still support your decision. Even if my mom wants to get married again. Mama deserves to be happy, right ?

But I also have to make sure, I want to know who is the man who is close to my mother. Rena said she saw him at lunchtime at a western restaurant in town. It seemed like the mama and the man were going to be there again, so I decided to see it in person. Rena said she would accompany me so we would go together.

We left early and unfortunately we waited too long. 2 cups of ice cream we had eaten and my money was not enough to buy food again. The action waiting for us paid off me and Rena saw mama and a man enter the restaurant.

I don't think he's a bad guy, the proof is that mom always smiles when she's with him. I took my phone and called my mom, I wanted to see the man's reaction when I knew he had a child.

" Where is Mama again ? " Tanyaku.

"Still work baby " replied mama

Mama didn't move when she picked up my phone, and the man's reaction seemed normal. But what I want to ask you is why did you lie ?. Why not just frankly if you are preparing to greet food with the man.

" It's lunchtime, mama hunt eat I don't want mama sick" I said.

From a distance I saw my mother smiling. " Dear, my mom will eat soon" said my mom.

" Yes my mom ate first, don't cape. I love my mom" I said on the phone. " Dear, my mom loves you too. Bye "says mom closes the phone.

At least I've seen it for myself, it's time for me and Rena to go home.

The next day I was ready with all my needs for school after a few minutes trip I had arrived on a large land with a row of other motorcycles.

After I left my bike, I walked to class.

Unlike my expectations, the true class is full of graffiti. I saw various writings such as "bad boy", "actor boy", and various painful words that made my chest tight. All the students in my class laughed at me who was holding back .

Why is all this so hard for me?, as unwanted as I am here ?. Why are they evil ?. Do they not understand how difficult my life path is. Why do they not understand?, Why !

From behind I felt a hand holding my shoulder. I looked back, he renaired I was sure he would defend me again. Please help me Rena.

" Surprise!, do you like my gift ? " Tanya Rena.

I didn't think that I thought of him as a friend and he destroyed me the most. " Why ren?, aren't you my friend "quote with lips still shaking.

" I used to be your friend. But after your mom destroyed my dad's business. I think the word enemy is more appropriate for us "Rena replied.

Is there still another surprise?, or is it enough to get here ?. When is all this done. When is there no more trouble for me?. When can I live without pain?. When did this end ?. Right I have to end it, it's enough up here.

I ran towards the roof of the school, the weather today is sunny enough if death happens now. I took a swing to jump. But a hand held me back from running.

"Stop, don't be kayak gini" said dawn.

I looked at him dimly, what should dawn be like?. " Let go of the jar, I want it all done. All this time I've been sick, I don't want to feel pain anymore." My speech.

" But "the word of the morning is broken.

" Please jar, this is what I want. Now that you're down, I don't want you to be the accused perpetrator" I said assured dawn

It seems like dawn is following my words. He slowly went from here.I looked around again, accidentally my focus stopped on soekan ketas and a bolpoint that can still be used. I took those 2 things and operated them through the verse.

' with this letter I just want you guys to say goodbye maybe this is the last time we communicate with each other. First thanks you already want to Nerima me and take care of me well. Thank you for being a super hero in my life. For Rena and dawn I also thank you for being friends with me. Unbeknownst to you, you are the most important person in my life that has ended now. I certainly have the same fault with you guys and I'm sorry about that. After this you can move on with your lives without me. Thanks again, I'm leaving.

After I finished writing I saw the tearing of the paper and I put it with a stone on it so as not to be blown by the wind. I looked at the letter, it was better that everything I left could be sincere and look for another substitute for myself.

I sobbed in silence, will I end up here ?. All the good memories and smiles all the fillers of my life will vanish as I go. But I guess this is for the best, I have no reason to settle into this cruel place. I want to be free!, am I wrong ?.

All this time I've been on the edge of pain and I don't want to taste it anymore. And the only way that all that pain ends is to cut off all my feelings for the world. I'll go to a better place and leave my words on this dusty roof. I take a swing and a few seconds later I think it's all over.