Short Story For You
half circle

The bench near the mango tree is the most comfortable seat in the city park. Moreover, the bright atmosphere of June was windy, making me want to linger for a long time in the silence I created.

I sighed, looking at the glass of half-used orange ice. My soul is a little tired, so much happened this late end. Everything feels tested. More about romance approaching the red light.

I guess this relationship won't last long. It's not his fault, it's not my fault. This is only wrong because this relationship exists. We pushed ourselves too hard until God took him away. Leave me guilt.

He, the one who can make me hold the Clock of a Day, keeps my mind going around thinking about him, that one human being is indeed reliable robbing the attention of others. And I seem to be locked up in a name, mahen.

"It felt like it was just yesterday.". I looked up at the sky full of clouds, I guessed the shape of the blob once in a while. Same thing I used to do with that doctor.

"Where is the shape of the gumbal!" Irritatedly I remembered his words, if the clouds of the day were a mixture of rabbits and cats exactly as depicted by the cartoon character gumbal. The glasses guy likes it. Although sometimes I have strange episodes that I can't understand. But I can also understand why it is brilliant to like it.

" I think it's an americano message. But baby, I can't have coffee" again I said to myself.

The only reason why I ordered that bitter drink, was because it was brilliant. Men majoring in medicine who often overtime and stay up late, always need coffee to make it can remain absent during morning classes.

Brilliant is hardworking, there is nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, he often forgets time. Sometimes while doing chores he misses his lunch. And when I saw him at his hostel, my mouth spontaneously popped.

"however, he said to heal others. It even hurts itself. The doctor must be healthy!"

He only smiled when I came back saying the same words when he was limp because of the stomach acid.

I approached her, putting a pack of chicken porridge that I deliberately bought for her. I took his hand for me to hold, a little hot.

"Don't hurt, yeah." I said carrying the hot hand and sticking it on my cheek.

A smile was created on his lips, "calm, the same promagh stock paracetamol is still safe" he replied lightly.

I wanted to hit him on the shoulder because he kept joking, but to remember, he's sick right now. I don't really understand the mindset of this man.

"You want to play weekend?" His offer.

"Where?" My toot.

"Where is the cake" he answered briefly. "Refreshing, let's not stress"

"Wait for you to heal. Just thought I was leaving." My firmness.

He nodded slightly disappointedly, looking like an octopus, the name of his dog. My hand hung down on his neck, then clutched the tall thin body to channel the warmth for him.

Sometimes I daydream, God gives it to me. How can I think he's almost got the perfect predicate. Then why is it that's filling it up now is me? Am I good enough for him?

Again I feel unworthy.

"Li, am I good or bad?" I have a strange question from me.

"Fell answer me!" Press me.  His hand held each side of my cheek.

"I guess.... You are a very good person! Although indifferent and inattentive the same around. But I like it when you're just focused and to the point. Not bothering about anything else."

Think I'm good? But not really I guess. That good one's him! And I'm not good enough for Mahen. I know, it's just an inner conflict. It would be foolish to ruin our relationship with insecure for so many reasons.

I'll save the question, how could he want to be with me?! By ourselves.

"No way to be insecure" she rubbed my hair. This is one that amazes me. I am a psychology student but why is this doctor more sensitive and understanding?!

"Watching.."my request.

"Yes, I'm done with the job of Mr. Wibowo." The answer.

That's a snippet of our relationship. Sweetie? Sure do. I have never been treated like that except by Mahen. However, I emphasize in my heart, if there is no such thing as a perfect human being. So too with yes. But as it turns out, I have not been able to deal with mahen's imperfections.

We are different, that one difference stretches the distance for us. Too big a stretch of it, though repeatedly mahen convinced me.

"We're the same first, later when it's time, we think of a way out." Mahen.

I don't understand, the time that Mahen meant was whether it was when we decided to be together, or when we decided to split up.

In fact my head almost broke thinking about the uncertainty of our relationship. But either me or Mahen, still want our relationship to remain. I don't know when, when it ends. We who are equally stubborn, will keep that impossibility until the time* arrives.

And yes, it is inevitable. Mahen was taken away from me. I'll explain what our differences are.

He is part of the Haidar family. Right, merchant from Bengkulu. I never thought this would be the next problem. But, in fact, this is our problem. The family that was not careless had made plans for mahen. From education to education, mahen has been betrothed by a child from an unusual family as well. That's so...

Like the love story of the prince and the street sweeper. Caste distanced us. Strange indeed, in this day and age such a thing still applies. But there really is. And Mahen could not dwell anymore when his mother came to this city. Tell the engagement date.

I met her mother, she doesn't know if I'm her son's lover. Almost half an hour of my ear had to endure the heat because he told me how good his future son-in-law was, which definitely wasn't me. At that time it did not feel mahen in the boarding house. I wanted to get the book I borrowed, and his mother believed.

There is no hope, maybe this is what I mean by... The timing.

Sure enough, mahen came to me the next day apologizing as much as possible and regretting for every wish he had uttered. About the future plans that we have written in his diary, about how we will be happy in the future. Hope is the sweet hope that we so want to realize. But, you know, that can't happen.

I told him, just keep that dream going. The happiest form of small family, it's your right to plan. The rest must replace me with a soul mate later.

Mixed feeling, smashing like drops of water now hitting my body. First rain in June. Yeah, looks like I want to make peace with myself. Like I said at our last meeting.

"I'm sincere, happy you are. Inget your mind. Heal everyone, so they don't get sick anymore. Don't get sick either, doctor's period hurts!" I guess when I say it it's not this surfing. My crying always pauses every word that comes out. With Mahen's hand tightly grasping my hand. Until I finished my sentence, and he started to walk away. Now I'm just with myself, and next, I have to make peace with all of this.