Sleeping Beauty's
Two Viewpoints

It's sad that we've escaped from something so excruciating, but we're still overwhelmed with sadness. Same is the case with when you can not swim but there is something that pushes you down into the pool, when you have been saved you are still unconscious because there is a lot of water in your respiratory tract. Even when someone manages to get all that water out, you wake up but still with a very torturous trauma.

No. I'm not like that, I can swim and never drown. But I live like someone who's always chasing something, something that can kill me.

Since the last three years I've always thought about dying, that thought just popped into my mind. I have always felt unable to deal with my own feelings. In a few months I will be married, but I cannot at all make peace with my heart and mind. I'm always afraid, what about after marriage if I stay like this? what if the past always haunts me? Generally women will be happy to avoid the fact that if they are going to get married, what else is married to the person they love. But that doesn't apply to me at all.

She was my choice, but she didn't seem to know that I was having a very serious mental disorder. He never knew that until this second, the wound in my heart had not fully healed. He never knew that my feelings and thoughts were making me insomnia every night. The people closest to me have even left me, indeed they are still near me. But their hearts rejected me.

All they see is that I always smile, but I'm very fragile when I'm alone. I'm not the one who will easily express feelings, but I always take them out when I'm alone.

Being a rapunzel for three years, no one ever knew that I had become a princess locked up in the house. You never felt it, did you? If only you were me? Is it possible that you would agree with me? Or would you prefer to hang yourself? Hand slicing? Or drop from the tallest building?

To me dying is better than feeling everything I feel right now. Just thinking about it has made my heart ache, my chest is so tight, my tears keep flowing.

All this time it felt like I had become a completely abnormal person, I would feel extremely threatened while being among the many people gathered. I was scared, ashamed, even of my own brother. It was very difficult to start a conversation. It would feel more comfortable if I were just a listener. Could I have hikikomori? For almost three years, I no longer socialize with people outside the home.

But why does it feel like I'm used to meeting people at home? Or a brother who used to visit home? Why do they feel different? Why is it so hard to meet new people? Sometimes I feel like I have been the most failed human being.

I could never trust them, because I was once let down. Humans are all the same, having a very humane bad attitude.

 ~~~

After fighting death–matian I finally managed to become a doctor, it was hard. It was so hard because no one had ever supported my desire to become a doctor. My father always wanted me to replace him, he was an important figure and also the CEO of a famous fashion company. In addition, he also became a leader in an organization. But not that ideals should still be achieved, I worked very hard to finance college and my life. I ran away from home to become a doctor, but I came back at this point. The point where Dad always interfered with everything I did.

I work in one of the hospitals owned by one of my father's friends, I don't know that. At first I thought I was accepted there because of my achievements and skills. But when the owner called me, I found out that he knew my father. Does this include dad's plan? Even now I am abroad. I purposely walked away from Dad. It seems to be true what people usually say if the world is narrow.

When I found out that fact, I originally wanted to run away from reality, but should I be like this? Act like a child. Isn't this a good time to show my dad that I can live like this? The thing I've been fighting for seven years I have to keep.

This was what I wanted from the beginning.

But one night, while I was running a night shift. A patient came in with a head covered in blood. She was ushered in by her father and mother, who testified that they found her son lying with a lot of blood in front of the living room window. Looking at her wound, it seemed like the girl had fallen from a high place.

Is he trying to end his life?

Those of us who were on guard that night did all the best for him. Luckily he survived, though he was completely unconscious to this day. Counted almost six months he lay unconscious, or commonly referred to as a coma.

What an irony, the girl's mom said that she should have married this month with her fiance. But because of that, the marriage was postponed.

But the more days, the more awkward there was with the girl. There have been two days of unknown people trying to harm him.

My friend who was on guard the night said, if there's been two reports of assaults on the girl. But the culprit always got away. No one was looking after the girl, she was always left alone. Her parents were busy, they both always said that when visiting asking me about her son's condition.

A few days earlier I had accidentally listened to the conversation of the two comatose girl's parents. They talked about the thing that made me feel compelled to make a decision. How can parents decide the life of their children, as if they were gods.

Their son was on the verge of death, but they instead decided to push him closer to death. I suspect, don't–don't the girl was deliberately pushed instead of her own desire to end life. Somehow this sense of pity came about, but it was getting to know more and more about the bitter reality that the girl had received. I want to protect her more.

Then doesn't he have a fiancee, where's the girl's fiancee? Why since she got into the hospital until now, I have never seen a young man visit her at all. Only his parents and one of his female cousins always went to visit the girl.

o0o