THE ALEXIS
DECISION

Khiara plays Kaiven fingers while continuing to reminisce. It was the first time he came out of the nest. In contrast to her who was like a shipwreck, the sun actually shone brightly. As if to embrace her with warmth.

The holiday season has come. Made most of the people storm Manhattan. Many people passed by in front of his house with happy faces. Laughing with friends as if there were no burden.

At that time he opened the automatic curtain on the stationary window in his room. Sunlight scrambled inside to shine a light on every corner. He slashed his eyes. The light was too piercing his eyes. Eventually, he decided to wear his photocromic glasses.

More than a month his room even the entire part of his house was untouched by the bright light. Because he closed all light access including picture windows in his house with automatic curtain.

Whereas during his stay there, he never closed his curtain at all. Because the view out there is so beautiful. The scenery that presents the charm of Manhattan Beach, is very dear if missed.

At that moment, his room looked so miserable. The view ahead looks very pleasant. The beach is stretched, covered by a sea of people who are swimming. Making his heart seem pinched by envy that continues to kick.

He immediately cleaned himself up and prepared to seek help. Today he will visit a psychiatrist as his destination. Not to forget he brought an object with two blue lines lying on the bed. Then immediately rush outside the house to go to the nearest bus stop. When he is in a mess, rather than self-driving, public transportation will be safer. At least it will minimize accidents.

Along the way, he just kept quiet. See the sights along the way. His heart was throbbing, like it was crushed by thousands of hands. The beautiful scenery out there is not in harmony with his heart that is not careless. Really, he felt so sad. And he chose to close his eyes until he arrived at his destination.

With weight, his feet went down the bus he was riding. Across the street is a building where he'll see his psychiatrist.

The street looked so quiet, it crossed as soon as the red light flashed. Inside, he was greeted by the nurse who was there. Because he had made a reservation before.

He had to wait until the second queue, medics directed him to the check room. He walked through a hallway, to the place where he would consult his doctor.

And suddenly____

Brukk_______

The sound of falling objects scattered beside him. It turned out that he accidentally hit one of the nurses who was passing in the same hallway. He immediately crouched down to help pick up all the files. And apologized for hitting him.

“Trank.” The nurse said as Khiara handed over the documents in her hands. Khiara smiled to reply.

“Akh___” the nurse looked shocked when she saw him, a second later she smiled.

“You look very pretty without bruises on your face.” Khiara frowned after hearing that.

“Have we met before?”

“Yah.” Khiara glanced at the nametag on the chest of the nurse who was approximately twenty years old on it. “I took care of your wound while it was on IGD back then”

Khiara's forehead is back in a frown. How not? There are certainly so many patients on IGD who are in and out of a hospital. Then how this nurse can recognize it with circumstances that must have been different from before. He remembered very well that his face was very difficult to recognize at that time.

“Are you feeling better?” Khiara nodded in caution. Somehow suspicions easily came to his mind.

“Thankful lah.” The woman smiled with relief.

“You came to the right place, the psychiatrist will help you in overcoming your problem.” The nurse rubbed Khiara's left arm.

“You should know, that you are so valuable.” His eyes were full of sympathy and his lips were filled with a smile of sincerity. But Khiara still felt disinclined.

“Let me deliver.”

Khiara immediately entered the room after the nurse let her in. A woman who thought she was about the same age as the nurse who drove her, greeted her warmly. He offers a million comforts for her, making her calmer to the point of making her open her voice.

Tells about almost everything that happened. Attentively, the doctor listened carefully. Experience every story that comes out of the lips of his patients. Until at the end of his session, Khiara was able to breathe a little more relieved.

...***...

There was a very clear statement made by his doctor, "I will not be able to heal what you are suffering, all depends on you. The healing is in your hands. I can only help direct what you should do when the disturbance strikes again."

A realistic statement. He does not give false hope to his patients, that coming to him will solve his problems. But his statement was very powerful in getting him to return to visit him.

Unlike others, who would probably advise her to maintain the pregnancy for humanitarian reasons. He said something beyond belief.

"Back again to you, it depends on your misfortune. If your pregnancy is putting pressure on you, I recommend aborting it right away. That's the best thing for you both." Khiara was quite stunned when she heard that.

"First because the fetus is lifeless, so you can't say kill it if you want to abort it. Second, it will reduce your mental burden. Because if you maintain it but not in harmony with your sincerity, it will actually torture you and your baby. And will keep reminding you of the trauma you suffered." Clearly the doctor seemed to understand Khiara's shock.

"But when sincerity is in your heart, you can keep it. Maybe one day if you have met and seen your baby, your baby can actually be a painkiller."

Very realistic for him, considering this is a rape case. Abortion is still legal in the United States.

Either the great psychiatrist or the strong Khiara. But, this analogy might be true. We'll find the right medicine in the right people. And Khiara has got the right treatment.

His first therapy was farmally and non-farmatically obtained. Yoga and therapy classes are scheduled. It has been saved. The next thing he had to do was go through each stage, to pick up a sanity.

Khiara looked back and looked at the building she had just visited. A small smile was engraved on the corner of his lips. A sense of relief had infiltrated his heart. Strong enough to continue his life, now in his grasp. Because in there, the doctor has explained the mechanism of what is happening in his brain.

For him who often thinks logically, scientific explanations are certainly more acceptable. And now he understands a little bit more what is going on inside him and how to deal with it.

He frowned, as much as a thought flashed through his mind. Why are so many people reluctant to see psychologists and even psycheaters, when a problem in them is no longer able to be faced alone by them?

Why are no relatives or friends advising them to come see an expert in their field? Are they afraid of being called crazy?

Ck, really Khiara never thought of making it. But that's not a disgrace to them. That is what will save them. Give them a ladder to get out of the pit of destruction.

A second later, he realized it. Maybe they feel the same confusion. Because of a hard blow that hit humans, being able to darken their brains, blinded their minds. Until I don't know what to do.

Khiara immediately ended her deduction. He looked away and started touching his stomach. She had already decided, she would maintain a pregnancy that she did not originally want. He told me what Megan's doctor had said, maybe this baby could be the medicine he really needs.

Regardless of the outcome of the rape or not, this child deserves a life. He didn't make a mistake. So it's not worth it that he's a victim of an impingement. Khiara will try to stay, hopefully the result is as expected. Getting the right medication he needs. If not, he will run to get help.

And in the end, Kaiven really became a medicine in the dark.

...***...