The Ball Behind the Love of the Court
21. A lonely graduation

Next I stared at a sexy dress like a woman's shirt that seduced men. For a moment I thought I was floating, is it true that mother is a whore? Thought I was wondering but only a silent answer. Then I saw a picture of a mother with a man but it wasn't a father.

After I flipped it over, there was no writing but there was only an address that I never knew the place. And it may be very foreign because I never get out of the village. Soon I'll keep it in a safe place. I wish I could meet my mother at this place. Or maybe mom accidentally gave me an address in order to find it.

After all the things I saw, there was a letter buried at the bottom. I opened it and tried to read it.

***

for my past

I'm tired of being a whore, I'm tired of being a woman of the night, I'm tired of being a mistress, I hate being a seductress for money. My body can only be sold for rupiah for me and my son to eat. Now I want to leave him. I don't want my son to know if his mother's a whore. I just want my son to be happy and be a good boy in the future. Now I'm leaving this shirt as a sign that I'm not tracking the night world anymore. I hope that the loss of self-esteem in the past will also disappear my black past

***

I was silent for a moment after reading it. It turns out the neighbors said that my mother was a woman of the night, my mother a prostitute even my mother was a night butterfly who seduced men. My lips were silent and could say nothing. Tears soaked my cheeks.

It hurts my heart when I know all this. All truth is not always beautiful but truth teaches what is good and bad to be abandoned or defended. My legs feel paralyzed knowing all. I'm sure this is a letter written by my mother.

"But why did mom go, if it's right to leave her past behind. I'm the future, ma'am, not your mass. Why do you leave me here alone" I cried in the house.

I'm not your past, but you can leave me alone. After 2 more years I finally found out that the mother of an ex-prostitute. But I don't understand why mom left. If it was to leave behind his black past, why would I have to leave me alone. I'm always in a quiet embrace at night or in the evening. Complaining has lost its way without you ma'am.

I kept a picture of my mother with a man I didn't know. Because I need an address behind it. Who knows, I might meet Mom someday. I wanted to meet just to ask why my mother left me.

A week goes by, Monday tomorrow I do graduation. And I just came alone. I don't want to bother Yanti because she herself opened the stall. If Ms. Yanti comes to eat the stall will close.

Great graduation atmosphere. Wearing a toga shirt and carried a graduation medal accompanied by music that bounces peacefully. A voice between happy and sad. Sad about the breakup and happy to continue to a higher level.

After the graduation ceremony process is complete, all parents are busy with their mobile phones to photograph the moment of their children who are doing graduation. There are family photos with a big smile. A warm hug from the hands of his mother's father was greeted with laughter. There is also Ari who does the photo process along with his mother's father. I can only stare at all of this at the other end. Sitting alone while drinking a glass of mineral water and a packet of bread.

"You don't want a picture of a aunt" The voice broke the calm of me eating bread.

"Eh aunty" Turns out it's Ari's mom. He came up to me and took a picture together.

My laughter was again painted and seemed to enter the Ari family. We were photographed like a harmonious family. A photo of four with a beautiful smile. Once again I felt the longan family that was enveloped in laughter and love simultaneously. They already consider me as their own child. They did not even want to see the sadness in this face.

"What a great photo" Photos that are in the camera are always praised by Ari's mother.

Though the photo was one of someone who infiltrated his family. But the smile she let out seemed like there was no problem when I went in there.

"Yes ma very good, especially this is your style of funny key" said Ari while showing a picture of me posing funny dwith them. I just fell silent and smiled at the cuteness of this family.

"This ma, father also the picture is gaping"

"Hahahhaha" They all laughed and I laughed with them. Beautiful simple happiness but I did not have time.

"Hmmm, ari, aunt and om, key wants to leave first yes"

"Half off, don't go home because you want a treat" said the father who prevented me from going home

"Wah what treaty, indeed there is an event" Sahut mama ari

"Practice because ari gets the best value"

"Horeee" We all applauded and cheered happily.

I ended up eating them at a very fancy restaurant in my opinion. I've never set foot here, even the atmosphere is like a VVIP room. The atmosphere was foreign to me who was just a country boy and into a fancy restaurant.

"Sorry, aunt e... Key doesn't deserve to eat here because it's too fancy" I said, gently rejecting them because I know who I am today.

"Dear key, all those people deserve to eat where, because all men are equal in the eyes of God" I just smiled hearing the statement from his mother Ari

"Oh yes key, this is me mesenin you the most delicious food here" Ari showed me a picture of the menu that is still confused how to service this restaurant like what.

"It's so expensive" My voice was too loud that it attracted a lot of attention from some people.

I was shocked and awkward because the price was beyond reason. It was also my first time eating at a large restaurant located on the city and county border. It's only natural that I'm surprised to see everything.

"No key, it's really this price"

"Oh well, because I often eat meatballs"

"Have a child, just eat and next time the same aunt will invite you again to have fun"

"Yes, aunt, thank you very much" I said ashamed of those who were very kind to me.

The four of us immediately ate a dish that was ready and neatly arranged on the table. A variety of fine food is served here. I was moved to feel all this, not because of the price of the expensive food but because of the sense of family that is expensive and can not be exchanged for anything.

After we finished eating, I was escorted by them to a car that used to pick up Ari. At first I refused because of a lot of confusion. But they forced me to come along otherwise they would get angry. I finally got in the car with them.

Arriving at the village, I chose to stop at the crossroads in the village. I reasoned that the road to my house was very narrow and seedy so it could not be passed. Finally they just drove me at the intersection even though there was still a debate to continue to drive me home.

Ari's mind is very big to know the existence of my house, but I prefer to keep everything a secret. Because I'm afraid that villagers will say "don't be friends with a whore's son" It'll even hurt.

"Drug Ari, om, auntie, be careful on the road" My hands wave to those who pass away.

My steps now shifted away and headed home. Unfortunately my fate, when graduating from Elementary School only mother who came, and father has gone somewhere. It's now at Junior High that mom and dad don't come. I'm alone, celebrating alone, and having fun. Let habituation make me strong even if only lonely friends who never leave.

\*\*

I put this body on the living room floor with the whole graduation suit. Staring at the ceiling that was still the same never changed. I feel like I want to go to work, but it's impossible to get back on the streets. Soon I will be going to higher school. So you have to really focus on the lessons, especially the time you have will run out in school.

\*tok, tok, tok\* knocking of the door is heard from outside. Looks like someone's coming. I rushed to open the door.

\*delunk\*

"Good graduation son" I smiled the day I saw Miss Yanti and her family approaching me. Bring some gift wrappers handed to me. He said it's my present graduation present.

"Mother, father, mother Yeni, mother Nike" I hugged her like my own family.

This simple happiness is what I am waiting for. No need for a fancy gift, just congratulate me my heart is happy. We hugged like blood relatives. Though I was just a stranger to them but they considered me a blood brother like a normal family.

We had a little party in my house. Bu Yanti has prepared everything to make a welcome. He said he felt guilty for not coming to my graduation. But he was responsible for providing a simple treat in the warmth of the family to atone for his guilt and hope that this could make me happy.

We had a lot of parties, even if only with mixed ice and simple tumpeng that you made with mbak Yeni and mbak Nike. They all love me like their own sister. And Mr. Mamat also loves me like his own son. I am very grateful to them, who always consider me a brother and love me even without blood ties. One day I will repay all their services to me.

"Bismil was bornrahmanirrahim, hopefully the key knowledge received at school can be used in the community"

"Aminnn" Mamat was always the head of the family, making prayers for the start of the thanksgiving.

Prayer for prayer is offered to me. After that, we ate the food with joking. Even though I had eaten at a restaurant with Ari's family, but my stomach was still hungry. Finally I ate with the family of Miss Yanti interspersed with jokes and laughter.

When all was done, they went home. To congratulate and love me like my own family. I hurried to clean up to relax. Trying to entertain yourself joking with the night sky. But this time it was dark that came, the star moon was covered in black clouds. But I'm still loyal on the porch. Just feeling a very calm wind.

Then I issued a letter given by the football club team that will compete between cities. Two days ago, they gave me a letter of invitation to join his team. Opening the letter contained a contract to play the ball on that team for a predetermined fee.

However, if there is a call from any party including the national team, then it should not come. Whatever the reason, I have to be on that team because I'm under contract. I just need to sign him, the salary is quite big but I wouldn't be able to improve if I was in a team that has a selfish manager with rules that are very controversial to me, I don't agree.

\*delock\*

I tore it into pieces. Money is more important to me than experience. No matter the offer, the important thing is that I can play anywhere to hone my skills without any pressure that binds even the existence of selfish haunting.

I also want to be the best player, to be able to play in the national team so that my father and mother can see me even if they will not admit it. I also want to catch up with David who studied abroad. But unfortunately the cost is not enough to go there. Maybe not today, maybe tomorrow and other times.

~~~ CONNECT ~~~