
Grandma Sholihati and Marlina ran towards her father's room, she saw Mr. Maryono lying on the floor.
“Eerr Mr. Maryono seemed to want to say the words, but was not heard clearly.
Grandma Sholihati and Marlina tried to lift Mr. Maryono back on the bed. Mr. Maryono had a stroke that resulted in his right side being unable to move. His mouth was also tilted to the right so he could not speak clearly.
Marlina gave her father a drink, but the water spilled, unable to get into the mouth of Maryono's slanted. Mr. Maryono cried so hard that his in-laws and children cried. Mr. Maryono hit his head with a left hand that can still be moved, as if not accept the state of stroke that hit him.
No one in the house dared to go out. They do not want to hear the gossip of the neighbors again, they try to cover the pain suffered by Mr. Maryono. A few days in the house. Less food supply forced Sholihati's grandmother out of the house to work so as to meet food needs at home.
Sholihati's grandmother pulls cassava in the garden to eat. Then Sholihati's grandmother picked vegetables in the garden, tied up and exchanged some groceries. Neighbors who saw grandma were away, insinuating, some even blatantly insulting. Sholihati's grandmother tried to calm down and pretended not to hear, then returned home again.
Inside the house Marlina was cleaning up her father's filth. The foul aroma of her daughter-in-law's filth made Grandma Sholihati run down to enter the house. After she finished cleaning her father, Marlina headed for the bathroom. There Marlina let out her entrails, maybe she's intoxicated, too. Grandma Sholihati shook her head while putting the things she had bought. In the room, Mr. Maryono shed tears, regretting why he was troubling his son.
Marlina took care of her father every day, despite frequent nausea and vomiting afterwards. Sholihati's grandmother saw the change in her grandson's physical form, but did not dare to reveal, afraid that what she really thought was coming true. At this time Marlina ate very little, her body became thin, but her chest was getting fuller. Grandma was eager to ask her granddaughter, when was Marlina last menstruating.
***
POV Marlina
I've been sick for a month. I'm increasingly unable to control my nausea every day. Dad stinks so. Can't get rid of this nausea. Is this really nauseous because of the smell from dad? I'm afraid if I'm not, am I pregnant? I have not menstruated for two months. Is this what you call pregnant? I dare not ask my grandmother. What if I'm really pregnant. I don't feel like my cheeks are wet, Dad, Mom, I'm sorry.
If I had followed your advice not to continue school in the city, this might not have happened. I can still garden with my mom and grandma. There are also many children who do not continue school, the family is peaceful, life continues. With me at school, I lost my mother, my father had a stroke.
Tonight I complain to my Lord. On this bed I cried and prostrated.
O Allah, forgive me my sins. With my mistake, everyone felt what I had done. Mother, I swear to look after and care for my father until the end of my life. Grandma who knows nothing now also has to bear the shame.
O Allah, forgive me my sins. I hope my guess is wrong, I don't want to get pregnant. Lord, do not increase my burden, do not increase the weight of the burden of father and grandmother.
I hiccuped between my prayers.
O Allah, give your guidance to the servant. I really know what pregnancy looks like, don't make me pregnant Oh God, I'm ashamed.
At the end of my prayer, my grandmother defended me from behind. I turned to Grandma, hugged her and shed my tears.
“Nek, I'm sorry. Because I'm all like this. I did it, grandma, dad and mom took it.”
This morning my head was very dizzy, to go into my father's room it felt very heavy, but still I forced it. While walking I held the wall to refute my body. Dad's room was very smelly, maybe the toothpaste last night was very much, the smell of pessies made me nauseous. I wiped my entire body with a towel and warm water, replacing his clothes. Dad's body is heavy, maybe because of lack of movement, father's body is more fat so I find it difficult to move it. To turn father's body around, it feels very tired. Not like my dad had a stroke in the beginning.
Every time I finish cleaning my dad, I throw my entire stomach in the bathroom. Not because of disgust, but it is nausea that cannot be restrained. The nausea I felt lasted until the sun was right over my head. After noon, I was healthy again. My power is coming again. While my body is still strong, I help grandma in the garden. When I crouched down to pluck the grass, my stomach felt stuck. Grandma was watching me, but I pretended not to know.
Grandma drove the food to dad's room, I heard it looks like dad is talking to grandma.
“What?” ask grandma.
“Eerrr,” dad tightens his words while pointing towards me.
“Marlina? Request to be called here?” ask grandma again.
Dad shook his head, I went into the room, “What's Well?” ask me while approaching him.
Dad stroking his belly, “Dad hungry? Here Mar bribe yes!” I spooned the rice and fed it to my father's mouth. Dad nodded and went back to stroking his stomach.
“Your stomach hurts?” ask grandma, too.
Again dad shook his head, I approached him again, “Dad why?” askaku. My hands are reaching my body. I hold dad's left hand, “Dad wants what?”
Father's hand trying to touch my stomach, “I'm not hungry yet, I bribe father first yes. Later when dad is full I just eat,” I said half whispered near the ear of father.
“EEerrr...” Dad said something we didn't know.
I put my ear to my mouth. “Pregnant..” The soft words I heard from my father's mouth suddenly made me tremble, not feeling these eyes dewy. Do you feel like I'm pregnant?
“Your father said what?” asked grandma again, I just shook my head while continuing to cry. My crying is becoming more and more, so is my father. I cried and kissed her hand. “Mar don't know, Sir.” Whisper slowly.
Grandma was still wondering what my father and I were talking about, I left my room and cried all over in my room.
I heard Grandma tighten her words, but finally made a soft voice. Silence, until grandma entered my room and held me in her arms.
“Grandma wishes you weren't pregnant. However, if that's true, then grandma will always be with you keeping your womb.”