The Girl Who Tapped
Marlina Pregnant

After eight months of that dark incident, my stomach grew bigger. Grandma and dad have started to accept this fact. Grandma gave me more food than ever. My eating now was also more voracious, as I pegged in front of the glass, my cheeks grew thicker, as did my chest and stomach. 

Grandma used to take care of me. Sometimes my father would throw me out and have my grandmother take care of him. Maybe you feel sorry for me, but what matters is that my father and grandmother seem to have started accepting my pregnancy. 

I also tried to accept this pregnancy despite sometimes regretting this fate. 

“Patience, for God is with the patient. Be patient in accepting this trial. There will be the best way out for all of us. Right now the most important thing is to take care of your health, your body is two now. What you're doing right now is affecting the baby in your stomach. You are not alone, there is a Grandma who is always on your side, who always takes care and loves you.” Grandma never stopped advising me. 

“Iya, New.” I rubbed my two watery eyes.

Tonight I feel pain in the stomach, it feels like this stomach rupture. Wanting to scream but unable, dry throat. I tried to reach for a glass, but it fell to the floor and made the sound of broken glass. Grandma who heard the sound of broken glass coming into my room, “what is Mar? You why?” grandma asked while stroking my growing belly.

“Sick, Grandma!” 

“Ighfar, Mar. Astaghfirullahal.

“Haus, New.” My voice choked. 

Grandma came out of the room and came back with a glass of water, and I drank it all over. The throat is now wet, but the pain does not decrease. I was rolling around in my mattress, my stomach was hardened, “Aaaaahh...” I screamed as hard as I could.

Owek .. owek ….

Baby cries echoed, I gave birth to a baby. Grandma was shocked to see what happened, then cleaned up the baby. Fortunately, there was a grandmother who could help me take care of the baby with affection. I'm excited, now I'm a young mother with one child and no husband.

“Your handsome boy, take a look!” Grandma handed the baby wrapped in a blanket to me. I accepted it, these tears flowing. Forgive me, Son. You were born without a father, even a mother doesn't know who your father is. While in the womb, the mother is always tearful and full of pressure. May your life be filled with happiness. Do not imitate this despicable mother, even if you were born from a family that does not have this, I said in my heart to this innocent baby. 

I kissed the little baby, feeling the soft look on his face. Her face was small, her eyes were still closed, her skin was smooth, her nose was pointed, her lips were red, her lips were red. The baby squirmed for a moment and cried. Grandma pats slowly. “Honey, be a good boy, don't cry.”

“Cup…. Darling...” said I cradled the baby slowly.

“Maybe she's thirsty, Mar!” grandma second guessing.

“I have to how to Nek?” many confused.

“That baby's feed!”

“I don't know how, how? Do I have milk for this baby?” I'm getting nervous.

“If you have given birth you can definitely come out milk. Take off your clothes, suck on your baby.” Grandma helped open my shirt and brought my baby's mouth closer to ****, the baby was still crying. The baby's mouth is looking for an ***** that doesn't have an end yet. The baby's crying gets louder. I'm getting confused, this baby's crying is stressing me out. What I should do. Patiently Grandma taught the baby to snack on my nipples. A few times his mouth sucked my nipples, but it came out again. My daughter is not there yet, so the baby's mouth is released again from the suction. 

“Pelan-pelan, Mar. You are calm, the baby was created by God to suckle his mother!” Grandma said again slowly.

I tried again to make the little baby's mouth suck the tip of my nipple. No more, the baby's crying got louder. Grandma took over the baby, then fondled affectionately until her crying subsided. I who have not been able to get out of bed just resigned my baby carried to sleep again by grandma. 

After the baby fell asleep again, the grandmother returned the baby to my lap. I took it, and I held it slowly. Turns out my grip on the baby made her cry again. Crying loudly, grandma stroked the baby's head in my arms.

The baby did not stop crying, but the crying grew louder. I noticed the look on her tiny face as if it had turned sinister, her tears turning into blood. Blood from her tears soaked her face, her cheeks were all red. “Nek, why this baby? Her tears are blood!” I'm getting panicked.

“She's mad at you because she's not you're breastfeeding. He demands you take responsibility for caring for and feeding milk. Fast suck the baby!” Grandma screaming.

“But I can't Nek, this baby doesn't want to suck at me, I also don't go out the milk.”

“Don't let more blood come out, Mar! Or the baby will bleed to death!”

“No, don't let this baby die, help me Nek!”

I brought the baby's mouth closer to my nipples, but the baby kept his mouth away. The baby's cry was getting hardened, even tears of blood were spurting on my face.

“Aah, Grandma. Help me!” I screamed, then sat down. Sweat filled the sweat.

“What Mar?” Grandma wiped my sweat on my forehead.

It turned out that I was just a dream, I stroked my increasingly distended stomach. I haven't given birth, my breath is still roaring and then I'm holding my breath slowly.

I follow my grandmother's advice, after the wedding I asked my grandmother, “Nek, if I give birth later, what should I do? Can grandma help me during childbirth?”

“Grandma can't, I forgot when your mother gave birth to you. Ask for help midwife to help your delivery.”

“But did I get accepted by that midwife? I'm scared grandma!” I cried in Grandma's arms.

“Grandmother will always accompany and help you. No one can hurt you!”

“If Grandma accompanies me, who takes care of dad?”

Grandma exhaled a rough breath. “Ask Allah for guidance and help, may he be given ease in all our affairs. Leave everything to God.”

I nodded slowly and wiped away these tears. 

I kept thinking about the delivery later, when that day would come. What should I do, how will grandma face the people around here, if grandma helps me to midwife, who is looking after dad. All questions raging in the chest.

I thought about it a long time ago, if I hadn't gone to school in the city, maybe none of this would have happened. This regret is useless. 

My mind drifted back to school, beautiful but pseudo. Suddenly I remembered a maternity clinic on the street that I used to go through when I left and went home from school.

Yeah, I think the clinic was right for me to get into labor, far away from here. If I gave birth there, these villagers would have no one to know. All right, my resolve is round. I'll give birth there. I'll go there when night falls so no one will know. I don't want to trouble Grandma, let grandma wait for me at home.

But how much it costs, certainly not a little. What clothes will my baby wear? I have absolutely no shadows for baby equipment and clothes. 

I remember the bamboo piggy bank that I accidentally did not open since the days of SD. I split it, then counted the money. There's a million more, I think enough to buy baby clothes and the cost of giving birth. Finally, one problem passed.

Tonight I will tell my intentions to Grandma. “Nek, later if I want to give birth, I want to go to the city at night so that no one sees me. It used to be a walk that I often went through when the school had a maternity clinic. I want to give birth there. Grandma's at home just looking after dad. If I give birth, I will come back here.

Grandma smiled then stroked my head lovingly, “it's not that easy that people give birth to Mar! People who want to give birth are not necessarily able to walk that far. What if you give birth on the street, especially at night, it is very dangerous. Stay at home, grandma will call a midwife to help you delivery. 

I shook my head, “I don't want to give birth here. I'm sure I can walk all the way to that clinic until it's time to give birth.”

“Don't be rash Mar, giving birth is difficult. It's the same as betting on life. Don't waste your life in childbirth!”

Suddenly my stomach hardened, I felt the baby in this stomach move very actively. “Sick Nek,” light.

Grandma stroked my stomach. His mouth was saying a prayer to my stomach. I felt my cock pull something out, when the pain disappeared I saw patches of mucus and blood in my underwear, “Nek, this is what?” my many.

Grandma saw the mucus and blood in the pants I showed her. “Waduh, this is Mar sign!” said panic.

“What sign Nek?”

“You will soon give birth! Grandma wants to call midwife first yes!”

“Ngak Nek, Mar wants to go, tonight is the right night. Mar wants to go to the clinic himself. Grandma here just wait for dad!” 

The pain came back, I endured the pain while squatting down. 

“It's mar, don't go. Let the grandmother who went call the midwife here. I shook my head slowly, this pain was incredible, I shed tears and prayed. Grandma took my hand. 

The feeling disappeared again, I set my breath and went into the room to take the savings along with some clothes I had prepared. Grandma crying prevents me from leaving, “Please, don't let me go Grandma! After giving birth, I will return. I promise, don't tell dad I'm leaving. I'll be fine!” I took my grandmother's hand off my body. “Trust!”

That night I left the house with pain. It used to be when my school used to go through this road quickly, but now I walk slowly while enjoying the pain that sometimes comes away sometimes. When the pain stopped, I crouched down and felt a lot of pain.

Across the street, where I lost my virginity, my tears flowed. This is where it happened, I will never forget the dark events of the day.

I slowly walked down the river to the other side. The journey is not far away, the contractions in the stomach are increasingly frequent. I stopped my steps, the dark night was just a faint star. Thirsty, it's the most terasi in the throat. I walked toward the bright light at the end of the road. Yeah, I'll be in town soon. From the end of this road, the clinic is approximately two hundred meters away. Not far away, but my stomach is squeezed, it hurts so much. I knelt with both hands on the ground, sakiiettt….

The tears that come out I guess violently, I can't be whiny. I tried to walk again, aahhh. The pain came back, I collapsed again on the road. It's late tonight, nobody's passing by, nobody can help me.