Asking You In Every Bow
49. Rise Sign

"Ma, if you cry again don't smile. I know Mama is crying, don't try to hide it from me" replies Imran who then hugged her mother's body tightly. Then slowly, Arsy's cries could not be contained. The crying became more and more unpleasant-sounding.

"Other times, you don't have to spend any more energy making a party for a man who doesn't know himself,"

"That man doesn't deserve this from Mama,"

"Non-fast, Ma. He doesn't deserve it."

"I don't want to see Mama constantly like this,"

"I love Mama."

...****************...

On this silent night, Ramdan was contemplating on the balcony of his room. Turning back everything Abi had said.

Do you love the daughter of the Vero family, Naura?

Because Abi saw, you and Naura looked close. Even very close. Have you forgotten the limits of another muhrim? Has Abi ever taught such closeness?

Has Abi ever taught you anything you've done right now? You're close to a girl who's not your mistress. And the girl was a daughter of the Vero family, a family that Abi had always respected, and that Abi had considered her own family. But what you did made Abi ashamed to see and meet the family.

He closed his eyes for a moment when the memory regained his heart that his treatment was very inappropriate. His treatment only made Abi feel ashamed of Vero's family. It's all his fault.

Abi will make a decision. Marry Naura immediately.

If you really love Naura, the daughter of the Vero family, then you should marry her. And if you don't love her, then you should stay away from her. That is all so as not to cause slander for you and also for two families. Abi didn't want to see that happen.

The decision from Abi was so sudden. Enough to make Ramdan shocked by the fact that he seemed to have to marry Naura. But isn't that what Ramdan expected? Married to Naura? Yes, but Ramdan never thought that he would marry in this way. Ramdan loves Naura, but does not want to be forced to marry the girl. It was outside his plan.

Ramdan remembered the choice Abi had given him.

You only have two choices. Tell Abi when you've chosen one of those options.

Ramdan rubbed his face violently, indicating that his mind was in turmoil, and his feelings were in a state of turmoil. He felt a dilemma with the two choices from Abinya. What should he choose? Where should he choose? A moment later, Umi's words flashed through his mind.

To be honest, Umi feels a little disappointed in you, Ram. So is Umi Fatwah there. Do not let You make Umi Fatwah there feel back disappointed with the choice you will take.

Make it a lesson. Abi and Umi love us very much. They only wish the best for our future. As Umi just said earlier, if now you let them down, don't let you let them down for the second time by making your choice.

We know that not all human plans are successful, but the plans God has given us are good.

Ask your little heart, and ask the Creator, for He is the Owner of all answers.

Ramdan was speechless given the advice of Fatimah. When everything feels chaotic, the brother always gives motivation that is so very influential on him. Ramdan let out a long and slow breath. Then get up from the chair he was sitting in on the balcony of the room, then walk towards the bathroom.

He turned the tap until it was seen running water. He began to wash every limb of his face, hands, feet, and so on. Yes, that's right, Ramdan is taking ablution. Sanctify yourself and prepare for prayer isya, because the Adhan has just reverberated.

After ablution, Ramdan slapped the black prayer mat on his bedroom mat. He began his intention and raised his hand called takbiratul ikhram. Fatiha readings and other sunnah readings are so eloquent to read. With all his effort, his heart was focused only on the Creator. His heart stared solemnly at the Creator'.

The prayer ends with two greetings. Swiping his face slowly as a sign of gratitude has finished performing the prayer service isya. Read some dhikr and wiridan as he usually does in every after prayer. This time he added some extra dhikr, as if to seduce the Creator to always take care of his soul and heart. Also to always take care of the people around him.

After finishing reading the thoughts that took about two minutes, Ramdan was silent with his eyes closed. Then he stood up again and established the prayer of Istikharah.

There was nothing he could do but pray Istikharah. Eliminating the doubts and doubts that were engulfing his heart. Only return to God, his heart and soul will be fine, so will his steps.

A few minutes later, he finally finished praying the istikharah. He paused for a moment, and then he raised both his hands up. He prays in his heart with closed eyes, let only his heart communicate with the Creator.

"Yes, God. Forgive my sins. Forgive all the sins I have committed. Don't punish Abi for my treatment. Do not punish Abi with his shame. Forgive my sins, Lord."

"If indeed this heart only resides on Naura, then unite us in a sacred bond. I love Naura for the love you give me. If indeed the servant is destined to be with him, then the servant will be with him according to the destiny You gave."

A single tear fell from his still-covered eyes. Followed by two and three drops of tears that now wet his face.

"You are Oft-Forgiving, Most-Giver of guidance, so give your servant at least guidance from You, O Lord."

"Aamiin, yes Rabbal 'alamiin" he said half in a whisper.

Ramdan closed the prayer by rubbing both hands raised earlier to the surface of the face slowly. Tears in the face also continued. Ramdan stared at both of his palms that looked wet by tears.

To curse her tears with the meaning that she has risen. For him, crying before God is a form of resurrection. It is not the same with the response of those who interpret the crying is weakness. And to him, the cry of weakness is when we cry before men. But in contrast to crying before God, we will always get the real motivation, and there lies our resurrection.