BACK (IN LOVE)
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"why are you Win?", I asked

"no, it's In, I just want to say, that guy, who came yesterday said he was your girlfriend huh?", she asked.

Surprised me, listen to where this kid is coming from.

"who said that Win?", I asked

"he was alone In, he said he came back, what do you mean In?", he asked again.

Damn, why does he talk like that in front of people he does not know.

"just like I don't have to answer, Win, you don't have to know that far" I said, then left the store.

Irwan's arrival makes everything go back to how it used to be. The raging feeling within the chest came also following him. Anger also accompanies.

The betrayal he did. Leaving me in a slump. Giving me hope, and my family.

Many times came and went again. Now he's close. Trying to get close to me again. When I started to open my heart to others who filled my days. The one who is with me almost every day. Makes me comfortable even though at first it's not as comfortable as it is now.

Actually, it still confuses me. What do you want from me Irwan. The flower girl you have disappointed 3 times. With ease, you came and left with my cry. Then come again and then leave without saying goodbye. Last time you came, then left with the word 'sorry, we can't continue this, I can't have a long distance relationship, how our parents will let me explain slowly'. You easily take all the family-related matters lightly.

For years, I finally felt like I was getting your replacement. Once your replacement is available in front of me, then you show up ruining everything.

...***...

Today, I went back to Eph's house, helping her mother to replant the withered flowers.

"indira brought black rose seedlings from the aunt garden" I said as I took out the rose seedlings that had been cut into the cuttings from the plastic bag I had sealed in my hand.

"it just so happens that, Efrian, he has also bought black rose seedlings", pointing towards the swarm of seedlings in the corner of the garden on a chair.

"but, the seedlings you brought, must remain planted.it is special", continued Mama Efrian

Then, we were both busy with the soil and plants before us. Hopefully, the newly created garden becomes as beautiful as before. I don't know when I'll help Efrian's mom garden at his house. Did this plant grow perfectly? or change another plant?

"tan, do not be tired yes, aunty should take a lot of rest. After this let the indi clean up, aunt rest only", after the remaining 1 last crop I asked Mama Efrian to rest considering her unhealed state of health 100%.

"after this meal yes In. mas Frian does not seem to eat at home. let you accompany aunty", he said while standing up to the tap to wash his hands. I returned with only a nod of approval.

After Mama Efrian entered the house. I planted one last seedling in my hand. Clean all the equipment and soil that is scattered, make dirty clean tiles, the terrace of this house.

"eat yes in", asserted mama Efrian. I nodded and sat down beside him.

"Auntie wants what? Indi get it?", I said while holding a plate that already contained a little rice. Then, this beautiful woman pointed at whatever side dish she wanted. I quickly placed it onto the plate and then placed the plate in front of him.

Just now I wanted to take my food.the sound of shoes spread the silence in the dining room that was only the two of us.

"kirain ate outside, son" said Efrian's mother to her son, who was washing his hands.

"willing to eat with my mom" he answered.

I continue my activities. Take the food and put the plate to the table and then walk to the back to get the pyrimg to eat for him.

"me" he said, who had caught up with me.

"what's up, I'll sit down", tell me to walk to the drawer where the spoon is.

"what do you want to eat?", I asked after being at a table with him.

"i'll take it myself", he answered, then grabbed the plate with the rice.

I focused on the food in front of me. Feed by mouth. I hear this mother and son are happy in their world. Maybe it'll be freer without me thinking.

Busy thinking about myself until unconscious two people in front of me now look at me compactly.

"to.. why?", I asked nervously

"what's wrong with you?", replied Efrian ketus

"heh, why is it that ketus son, Indira why?", asked his mother who was really the softest person.

I don't understand why. I feel like I'm okay.

"ah gakpapa aunt, just want if there is an order of people who forget to tell the store children", I replied to switch the conversation

"the abomination is hard to change", the Efrian judge against me who was then broken again by his own mother.

"mas, you can't do it if you forget how, time to blame" he said

I quietly saw him again in anger at his mother who was defending me.

What was the matter a few days ago still pisses her off until now. I still see in his eyes. Showing that it is true he still does not like the arrival of Irwan.

"excuse me, after this Indi came home first yes, maybe tomorrow or the day after Indi came here again, or if aunty needs Indi, call ya tan" I explained to mama Efrian

Then I stood up to clean up our old dinner plate. Also the food on the table. I looked into Ef's eyes still cynical towards me.

I mean, if you don't want me here. Just tell your parents that I can't come here anymore. Don't make him depend on me and I end up tied to him. If you're like this, how can I feel at home in this house.

"let me take you back to the office" he bargained. Honestly, I really don't want to be carried away by him. Were it not for the persuasion of his mother I might have already rejected that intention. I still can't judge, good intentions or not. He just offers full of heavy heart taste.

After saying goodbye, I got into his car. Sitting next to the driver put on a seatbelt and staring blankly ahead.

Without looking at each other, I realized this car had already passed away from his house.

"silence", he said. I didn't understand what he meant by telling me to shut up or reprimanding me because I was silent.

"just shut up?", she asked

As fast as lightning I replied "if you are still angry, upset and do not like me at home just say it. no need to show it in front of your mama. let him know we are good without any problems", long seems to be my nagging. From my heart, I have been holding it for a few days. His attitude that began to change after seeing Irwan made me claustrophobic.

He was still silent hearing my flattering. Unknowingly we had reached the courtyard of my flower shop.

His eyes glanced at one object. I followed his eyes. How surprised to see that man again. What's he there for.

"there is an answer, why do you want to go home quickly, not because of people's orders, but because there are people waiting for you" he said.

Again, misunderstand. Till when? The one that was not finished yesterday is still there.

"i've been at home since morning and didn't know he was coming again" I replied

Ef's rudder looked at me sharply, "you'll believe what I saw"

"selfish!! you didn't even give me a chance to explain", I removed the seatbelt and opened the car door

"you think whether you're jealous or not. act like this, as if I can't meet anyone without a certainty from you. You see, you see, I still want and still want to stand here for you not for the rest, whatever you want to think!!", I explained again before getting out of the car.

......***......