Blank Round
Love

Inside the living room room, I calmed Neli down. He was the closest servant to me. Sincere and serve with all your heart.

"Mrs have to take good care of themselves."

"If you cry like this, I can be sad."

"Where can I not cry and worry," said Neli.

The woman whose husband she kicked out, where should I go? Not only Neli, but I also worry about myself. There is no destination. Everyone must think I'm pathetic.

"You don't have to worry, I'm strong and I can take care of myself. Now you sleep so tomorrow you can help me pack."

Maybe everyone asks how I can be this strong, I have never shown sadness before including when my two people died.

"Then I'll excuse you, Madam, you should rest too."

I nodded and let him go. Only when the door was closed did I feel overwhelming sadness. Heart hurts. The struggle for Wikra's love has not been fruitful.

Actually I can still get a chance if I complain to his mother, my son is worth fighting for, he needs his father's love. I'm standing. Go back to the main room that used to be occupied by me and Wikra.

Although this is shameless, if there is just one possibility, I want to take the last chance.

My hands shook when I knocked, and shortly after Wikra came out without buttoning her shirt, seen in Yumna's bed undressed.

"Why?"

Unfriendly question from Wikra because I've interrupted her first night with Yumna. I want to retreat so I still have some self-respect. I'm afraid I'll regret it if I don't try.

"As long as we're married, is there a little bit of love for me?"

If there is, however small it means there is still a chance. I beg. For the sake of this child, for the sake of love for him that will not be easily lost.

"I have never loved you and will never love you forever. Don't bother me with such silly questions anymore. Go there."

Brak!

Wikra shut the door so hard that it made me prance. I swallowed spit. I must remember and instill Wikra in my heart. She will never fall in love no matter how much I do.

My steps were so limp towards the guest room, whispered the servants who saw how pitiful I was not concerned.

Arriving at the guest room, I sat limp behind the door. Holding my stomach and bending my knees, drowning my face in between.

Tears slowly trickled down, which made me cry neither divorced nor when Wikra brought another woman, but the fact that Wikra never loved me in the least.

Everything I've done to get her heart, hoping that someday she'll love me. So naive. Today is my limit in trying. God told me to give up when Wikra answered my question.

The next day I packed up, though I didn't know where to go. Go back to the contract first or hitchhike at a friend's house. One thing's for sure, I had to hide the pregnancy so that this kid wouldn't be asked by the Wikra family.

This child is the only treasure I have. Without it I have no more reason in this world anymore.

"I've sent money into your account with a large amount, don't ever come to my family for money. You're not a beggar, are you?"

I consider it a hongpao from Wikra for his son, although we are Muslim but my family custom is still often used especially when Lunar. I will not refuse on grounds of pride, because the money is our son's right.

"Thank you for taking care of me, may you be happy with your choice, I can only wish you all the best. Can't bale your kindness and family, greetings to Auntie, Om and Reina."

I gave her a final smile, covering up how much my heart was hurting from her loss. His stern face did not respond at all.

I pulled the suitcase out of the house, not much I brought. Just everyday clothes before I got into this house. All the servants bowed respectfully as I entered the courtyard.

There's a little way to the gate, I've booked a cab. Before I actually got out, I stopped. Look back. See the white-painted mansion for the last time.

I exhaled heavily and walked back, leaving Wikra and hoping to stay with her.

.......