Blind Date's
61. I only love you

...61. Gamophobic...

“Gama suffered severe trauma to the wedding.” Sofyan took her to a park. “First Papa didn't believe. The events of those dozen years bound him. It scared her to get married until now.

“A fabricated fear according to Papa. But after listening to the psychiatrist Widiya brought in. Papa just believed.

“Gama started learning to work at GPP. Starting from the bottom to be a regular staff. Then his career went up. And he started to get busy with work. That's when he came to take Cyntia. Said she wanted to marry him. Gama was 25 years old. With a brilliant career she decided to get married.”

Pause. Sofyan. Leaning his body on the back of a garden chair.

“All their wedding preparations at the time were taken care of by Cyntia herself. Helped Heti. Gama is focused on his work. Especially at that time, GPP was victorious and growing rapidly.

“Maybe, for Cyntia Gama like not caring about their marriage. Too busy. Until forgetting the things that Cyntia thinks Gama needs to plunge directly.

“Up to a time of intense quarrel before 7 days of their wedding. They had a single accident after coming home from seeing the planned wedding venue in the peak area.”

Sofyan straightened his back. He wet his dry lips.

“Cyntia seriously injured. While Gama is better.”

The man sitting next to him confirmed the location of his glasses. Breathe in later.

“Just in their wedding day. Not a spoken marriage promise. But it's a deep sadness to have to let go of Cyntia forever. Cyntia died before Gama made the marriage pledge. It made Gama feel guilty. Blaming yourself until now.

"Even by moving Gama to the Netherlands, I think he will be able to forget that event. It turned out .. I was wrong. Gama kept that fear alone."

About fear. Traumatizing. Sofyan only found out after Gama returned to Indonesia. Gama is trying to get out of his fear. Is undergoing some therapy to the doctor Lyvia, Widiya's recommendation.

“Papa apologize, Sas. It has involved you in this family matter. Whatever your decision, we accept.”

Non-rigid. He himself could not decide anything.

“Gama is at war with his fears. Against an invisible enemy. But it was so impactful that it made it like this.”

All the way back to Banyu Mili Sasmaya fell silent. While Affan who was driving next to him did not make a sound. Although there are many things that want to be revealed.

After Sofyan told about Gama's attitude which he accidentally heard. He then came home. Without seeing the man before.

Until now he does not know, what decision will be taken. To be sure, forcing the man to marry her is also free. It will only add to the suffering of Gama. Also, he did not want to have any bad consequences with the marriage if it kept going. He also felt sick and disappointed.

“Gama loves you so much, Sas.” Finally the words that had been suspended were said Affan.

He's silent.

“You deserve to be angry with me. From the beginning I planned all this. Starting from dating apps, papa biography, match you. I'm playing in it.” Affan glimpsed Sasmaya next to him who was still silent. With a straight forward view.

“Gamophobia for a dozen years made him decide not to marry. Several times close to women. Until he meets Elena who has the same thought. Not committed to the future.

“Only Elena. Dutch women who want to accept it. While others ...,” Affan again saw Sasmaya at a glance. “Any woman also wants certainty. Commit to the future .. definitely prefer other men who have clarity of relationship. And Gama also always avoids women who end up asking for a serious relationship, let alone talking about marriage.”

The last year Gama's condition was very sad. After his mother died, papa only gave a 1-year pause for Gama to live in the Netherlands. And the man had to go back to Jakarta. Starting a new life. What is certain is the life that according to papa and the deceased mama is good and should be.

Moreover, the last will of mama who wants Gama to get married. Sofyan decides to change Gama. Even if Sofyan has to sell all of Zoon's shares in the Netherlands.

“Gama also loves Cyntia very much. But the way is wrong. Reflecting on that mistake, he wants to fix it when with you.”

Waited for a moment.

“And you should know too, Sas. He tried to treat his fear by going through some counseling and therapy all along after getting to know you. Because Gama never admitted his fear. Although there is progress .. but it turns out that fear has not entirely disappeared. The deep fear of dozens of years took a short time to heal him. Moreover, Cyntia often present in dreams Gama.”

He closed his eyes.

“Here you hear the word get married, Gama is already sweating coldly. He never came when his friends invited him to come to the wedding. The very thing he avoided. Especially when your proposal happens, Gama has to fight it with all his might. He felt nausea, vomiting, dizziness and even almost fainted. Symptoms that people think may be common. But for the sufferer it is excruciating.”

Their car arrived at Banyu Mili.

“I'm sorry, Sas. Whatever your decision, we accept. We've been too deeply involved in our family matters.”

Sasmaya opened the car door.

“Sas,”

He looked at Affan.

“Thank you. We can still be professional.”

He pulled the corner of his lips faintly. Without saying a word. Open the car door. Closed it. Left Affan who was still inside.

Open the door to my mom's room and slowly.

“Yeah, Sas. Where have you been? Mama is looking for you. Papa also nyariin you .. You just leave do not say.” Ranti nagged at her arrival.

While he was sitting on the sofa, next to the eyes that were still reviewing the smile greeted him. Papa came with Miko.

He nodded. Papa sits on the other couch. With Miko standing behind him.

Sasmaya begins to recount the accident that befell Gama. Everyone who was there was surprised. Except Miko. Maybe his sister hasn't told papa. Because papa's reaction is the same as the others.

“Mas Gama's situation is fine. Only his left hand had a fracture,”.

Relieved. Everyone is thankful.

Eyang rubbed his arm.

He took a deep breath. Exhales slowly. It's time he made his decision.

“Ma, Pa, Eyang ..” Everyone looked at him. Waiting for the continuation of the sentence you want to convey. “Sas and Mas Gama .. want to postpone this marriage.”

Mom acted quickly. Banging, ambush, “What the fuck, Sas. You're mad. Want to embarrass Mama and all the family?” toilet Ranti with teary eyes. “This is your wish. Your wishes. Why suddenly cancel like this. No, Sas. This marriage still happens.”

“Is there no other way, Sas? What's just a fracture of the left arm. Could Gama have suffered another, severe injury, unable to get out of the hospital bed? That's why you delay until Gama recovers,” asked papa. "If that's the reason, Papa can take it."

He shook. “Mas Gama is fine, Pa.”

“Then, why be delayed?” Ranti.

One by one his gaze turned to mama, papa and eyang. “Mas Gama psychic pain. It takes healing time. It is not possible for our wedding to be held in 2 days.” He had to make this decision.

“Psychic pain?” Ranti shakes. Uncomprehending. Some kind of irrational reason that is hard to understand.

While papa breathes with his eyes closed tightly.

Yes, he knows his family must be disappointed with his decision. But he said this is the best way. Going forward, he does not know if his relationship with Gama will continue to persist. Or stop here.

Eyang again rubbed his arm, “You heard, this is Sas and Gama's decision. Whatever happens. This is all God's way.”

“But, Bu—” Ranti interrupts. It feels hard to accept.

Eyang shook his head, “Ran .. We all want Sas to get married. But of his own volition. If it's his decision, we can't force him.”

“Bu, right, that's what I said. Erna once said that something was going to happen with Sas' marriage. And here's the proof. Yeah, right! Their marriage ... cancel.” Ranti. I can't imagine what will happen after this. Bad things happened to Sasmaya ahead of her wedding. Erna was right.

“Have ... already. We pray that behind this incident, there is wisdom that we can take. Sas ...”

He hugged eye. “Sas sorry, Yang.”

“No need to apologize. Your soul mate may not be him. Or maybe this is the test you have to pass first.” Eyang rubbed his back.

While Ranti wiped her cries. “Couldn't,” omitted.

“I'll meet Gama.” Papa's up. Passed away from them. Followed by Miko who came out of the room.

No one knows why or how this could happen in the run-up to her wedding. But one thing is certain. He needs time. Heals her spilled chest. Restores her mood. She's lara.

The Dusk Utama Railway just left Solo Balapan Station 10 minutes ago. Bringing himself back to Jakarta.

...***...

There was a small debate between Papa Sasmaya and Sofyan. No parent would be willing for her daughter's marriage to fail halfway through. Added in a matter of hours.

He does not accept.

Sofyan's reasons are made up. Gamma psychic pain. He needs a psychiatrist's healing. Not making him 100% confident. What pain? Until the man runs away from responsibility.

“Gamophobia.” He repeated Sofyan's words. A strange disease that he first heard of. A type of excessive fear caused by past trauma.

However, he did not really understand what gamophobia is. Only 1 I want. He wants to meet that man.

“I want to talk to Gama!” tangkasnya. Just ask the man who once promised him not to hurt Sasmaya either physically or his feelings.

Actually ... The promise was broken.

“Sorry, Sir. Gama is in therapy with a psychiatrist. To stabilize his emotions,” Sofyan said.

Disillusioned. It was long. “How can you play with our son? It's very painful. I don't know what else to say. Excuse me.”