Born Again To Love You
It starts with a recurring dream

I was 3 years old then. I have a pretty good memory even though I don't really remember everything. Just remember when it is repeated several times.

   Every night, I have a weird dream. A dream I've never had before. A dream I never saw or felt. I see myself as an adult.

   At that time I ran towards a large teak gate fence. Fence to exit the house. I ran barefoot on the ancient floor that was cemented by stone-shaped boxes. I use kebaya and jarik. My hair is in ordinary konde.

   Almost near the door. Some narrow-eyed, white-skinned men held both hands. 2 held my hands, 4 people beside him carrying sticks. They caught me and pulled my hand and took me into a room with iron bars and a roof. Yes..

Room where I live everyday. Their master, Gouw Boen San, never let me out of the house.

   Every day I was locked up at home. I'm just working on serving Mr. Gouw Boen San biologically. If I refuse, Mr. Boen San will rape me and torture me. I didn't

survive tormented like this. That's what made me want to run away from the hut of an ancient Chinese house at that time.

   The dream was scary. Very scary for a 3-year-old. I woke up and fell silent. Because I don't know what that dream is. But the dream is repeated every night. I didn't tell my parents either.

   One time I had a dream, I was free from the house of Gouw Boen San. I'm out of the house. I saw the front of the host Gouw Boen San from the top to the bottom of the height of approximately 5 meters. House with teak wood stripes as a decoration on the top. And a huge teak gate 2 and a half meters high was underneath it. Looks big building from the outside but small inside.The wall inside the house is made of red brick in white paint. The roof of his room was just a little old. Inside the room was a barred window.

   When I entered the room. From one of the 1 streets of the house, there was an old lady with narrow eyes and white skin. Her hair was black mixed with white and dikonde. The old woman wearing Brackets greeted me. He approached me and held my hands together and smiled. Still holding my hand. The old woman invited me into her house. I also woke up from my dreams.

   1 Dream that impressed me. The dream affected my feelings. I sat in a big piano chair. The piano was very close to the window with a large glass. Every morning I sit in that chair. I daydreamed while bathed in the morning light that entered through that window. I sit alone. A slightly brownish white dress as short as the knee I wear. Long-handed dress and half-necked cover. Like the dress worn by Dutch noni in general during the Dutch colonial period.

   Beside the piano playing room, I saw beside the room, there was 1 room with a dining table with some Chinese ceramics. This old Dutch-style luxury house was so imprinted on my feelings that I grew up.

   There is another dream that every time I start dreaming, I always wake up. I slept on a roof. Just under the roof of the house. I hid there. Dirty face. So are my clothes. And there was a feeling of fear from the light coming into the house shining down on my face from the sidelines of the tile. Yes.. I was afraid to be alone at that time. I don't have anybody. I'm alone.

   And the last dream, I was in sentiong and saw an ancient bongpai with a circular back and top filled with grass. Under the grave were many dried leaves. And beside the cemetery there is a banana tree that is about 1 and a half meters high with 1 small leaf. Unfortunately, I didn't see the front of the grave. I can't read the graveyard tombstone. That's all I've seen. And I woke up too.

   Those are the dreams I used to see when I was 3. And when I grew up before I was 5, that dream never came up again.

   Stepping on the SD, I was scared several times every time I saw a narrow hole. I once consciously caught a glimpse of a colorful light as I looked at the bottom hole of the narrow chair as I put my head under the chair. I was terrified and felt like I had gone into that hole alone.