Brooke's Priority
Chapter 31

Carlo and Grace danced to the beautiful sound of music but I saw them with unhappy faces.

I'm sure my feelings when I see them aren't jealousy or envy. More like an uncomfortable feeling because there is danger coming. It was so strange that my hands were shaking.

Alex pulled me and took me away from the people dancing.

“What's up?” ask Alex to worry. He held my trembling hand.

“I feel unwell.”

“We're home now,” take Alex.

Alex tried to pull me and I held his hand.

“I just need to go to the bathroom for a while.”

I left the party room. Arriving in the bathroom, I washed my hands with water and took a deep breath. Breathe in and exhale.

In my dream, Brooke smiled bitterly at the sight of the two of them. Not fear, not being happy, let alone feeling danger.

“Sial,” I clenched both my hands. I still don't understand my feelings that have suddenly changed.

“Other nobles will think I'm jealous of Grace.”

I don't want the rumors in Brooke's past to repeat themselves. I've prepared for today. I even planned to dance with any nobleman who asked me (except Alex) and ran away as Carlo walked up to Grace to ask her to dance (i'm afraid someone made up a false rumor if I stayed there).

But look what happened. I was still transfixed like a statue as they started to dance. Rumors must have spread by now. If I go back there, Alyson will be embarrassed throughout the event and I will have to face firsthand the bullshit of the other female royals. If I don't come back, the rumors will get worse and I can't keep an eye on Lucas.

I even planned to approach Josephine.

Life does not always go according to our plan.

I tried to strengthen myself and decided to return to the room. In the middle of the road, I saw Josephine turn into the corridor that was in front of me. I decided to hide while following him silently. I followed him until I reached a quiet place hidden from the main corridor. I saw Lucas.

They hugged.

Then I made sure that no guards were wandering around the place and left them before they were discovered. I looked for Fanita and didn't find her. I got so upset that Fanita should have followed them if one of them came out.

When I entered the party room again, I felt many piercing glances directed at me. In the room there were two groups. The first one talks about my relationship with Alex and the other one talks about my relationship with Carlo.

I pecked for a few minutes then with great difficulty I determined not to bother and immediately looked for where Fanita was. I found Fanita on the porch with Alex. I tried to get through the crowd while holding my head up as if implying a message that they could demean me just from what they saw and I wouldn't care about that shit.

I'm acting pretty strong.

What is seen on the outside is often not the real truth.

I knocked on the window separating the room with the veranda where Alex and Fanita were standing. They looked at me and stopped talking. The atmosphere between them was heavy when I set foot there so I guessed the two had just had a fight.

“What are you talking about?” I asked while watching Fanita's face. “There are things I should talk about with Fanita,” I said to Alex afterwards.

For the past few months, Fanita and I have looked familiar in the eyes of those around us. We are not as friends as they think. We are only discussing the issue of expeditions to the north that still require a lot of preparation.

“I'll leave you two. Speak,” Alex stepped out and Fanita tried to prevent it by pulling Alex's right arm. I looked at Fanita with a somewhat surprised face especially when I realized that there was water dripping on the end of Fanita's eyes.

Alex threw that hand away easily and walked right past me.

I turned and looked at his back. Turn around again and see Fanita's disappointed face. I wanted to ask and finally started to wonder who the man Fanita liked? One of those topics where we can sound like friends.

“You okay?”

Fanita closed her eyes for a while and wiped her tears. “Ya.”

“You sure?”

“Ya,” repeat again.

I let out a short sigh in the form of my response to Fanita's reply.

“I followed him. As per our prediction,” I said without intention to explain further. I felt insecure explaining in detail what I saw. There are too many ears here. “You're really okay?”

I'm worried about Fanita. What I see now is not her tough and haughty everyday face, what I see is the face of a heartbroken girl.

“The man turned out to be Alex,” I continued while looking at his sad face. I feel like I made a mistake with Fanita and Alyson. “I'm a bad guy again today.”

“You were not a good person from the beginning,” Fanita looked at me like a sister looking at her little sister. Sometimes, he showed me that look in the academy to me and Darshan. Darshan thinks Fanita wants to beat him up. “There are no really good people in this world.”

I reflected on those words.

“That's why you don't share your problems with others?”

Because no one is really good.

“Yes. It is undeniable that we are happy to see others difficult. We must have done it at least once in our lifetime.”

“You're right,”. “I did too. I'm still happy to know you were punished by Sir Oswald for taking me to fight when I wasn't officially accepted into the academy.”

“Badness,” Fanita smiles listening to that old story. “I also have no regrets about hitting you.”

“Good. We're breakeven.”

I then placed myself next to Fanita. In silence, my eyes scoured the ceiling full of stars. It was so beautiful that I felt calm.

“I don't hate you.”

“I know,” I said without seeing Fanita.

If he really hated me, he wouldn't have joined my expedition.

“You just don't like me because of Alex.”

“I'm jealous.”

“You're honest,” I looked at him in awe. “It's not easy to say you're jealous of your love rival.”

“You don't deserve to be called a rival. You don't like Alex.”

“Hmm, right too,” I laughed softly. “I wonder why so many like him. So obnoxious. What's nice of its nature is it.”

“He's great.”

“Lucas is also great,” I said while feeling annoyed. “There are many other men. Your friendship is more important.”

The friendship between the three legends always made me both envious and amazed. Their friendship is strong only on the basis of understanding each other without any prejudice.

“Have you been sincere to someone?” asked Fanita suddenly.

“What kind of question is it?”

Of course it ever was.

I used to be sincere with someone. That question made me think back to one of the events I felt sad about living as Shin Yoo Ri. After giving up on the person I love, I thought I would be able to meet someone nice. And that's when I met him. I didn't even want to say his name with my mouth, back then I just didn't want to be lonely and wanted to rely on someone. The man cheated on me and I forgive him so many times.

“I'm being sincere to Grace and Lucas. Haley is also Darshan. You too.”

“I thought you understood my point,” Fanita glanced at my face. “Seems to have been.”

Fanita's guess is right. I don't want to tell her my story. My pride did not allow me to tell her that I once failed to marry as Shin Yoo Ri. I was so stupid and lonely hoping to get married at a young age without opposition from my future husband's family. Finally, I received rejection from the family of the man I love and from the man who cheated on me just because of my family background. At the age of twenty-two, my father, Shin Yoo Ri's father, killed someone by accident.

“Try replying to someone's sincere attitude towards you. Sometimes, when you look at Alex, I can feel the hate in your eyes. You hate him as if all his words were lies.”

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