CHARM GIRL LOVE (CONGRAT)
Charm Girl Loved

"Where did Mommy's husband go?" manya curious.

"Mami heard he went to New Week with his new wife."

"Why doesn't Mami just follow," I asked again.

"Make what? Why would Mami go after a man who has no such sense of responsibility, Ra! It's a waste of time. It is better for you to focus on yourself and your children than to spend time taking care of such useless men. Let God repay all. As long as we can be sincere and leave everything to Him."

I feel bad for myself for asking that question. Like a hard slap for me. I felt that Mami was insinuating me for not being able to fully accept the harsh reality that had happened in my life. I have not been able to accept with sincerity the way of life that God has destiny for me until now.

I still complain a lot and can't accept everything. Or even regretting a lot of things that have happened. Though all of it has passed and can not be turned back.

"You know, Ra why did Mami choose to work at Suka?" I shake again.

"Because Mami's husband left a lot of debt to Mr. Asiong. We used to open a business in a shophouse managed by Mr. Asiong. Selling, business meatball stalls. Our efforts are advanced and many. Until finally Mami's husband cheated and took away all of Mami's money. Worse yet, he left a lot of debt everywhere before leaving, without Mami knowing. In fact, all the initial capital to open the business belongs to Mami. Including the rent of shophouse to Mr. Asiong was in arrears for up to two years without Mami knowing. Hence Mami begged Pak Asiong to give Mami a job to pay off the debt. Yes, at that time, Mami thought that Mr. Asiong was a helper angel for Mami because he was willing to give a job. But after Mami knew the work that Mami had to do, Mami had felt disappointed in him. Just as you were disappointed in Amel at that time. Hence, Ra! Mama loves you very much. Mami feels you are like a picture of Mami in the past. Moreover, a lot of things are happening to you, Mami has experienced before. So Mami hopes that you should not take a wrong decision like the one that Mami has made," he reminded me.

"What decision is that, Mi?" manya curious.

"There is, but it is a disgrace for Mami that Mami must cover up. You know Ra! What has my mother been praying all this time?" He asked me again. I'm back to shaking.

"Mommy always prays to God that all the disgrace of Mami He guards and He covers so that the two children of Mami do not know it. And thank God, until now Mami's children do not know. They are the children of sholeh and sholeha who are entrusted by God to Mami. They are very obedient to Mommy too. Several times they wanted to come here, visit Mami. But, after Mami says 'no', they just obey and never ask 'why not'. Thank God, Mami felt Mami's prayer in the temple by God." I was stunned to listen to Mami's story, hoping my disgrace is also God keep my relatives not to know. Especially Riki, my only child. I hope he also grows up as a sholeh and obedient child like Mami's son. Yes, that's my hope for now.

"That's because of those kids!" He pointed towards the children of the orphanage who were still gathered in the courtyard of the foundation. Who seemed happy to open the gift that we just handed over earlier. "They're the reason Mami's staying here. How could Mami be willing to leave the disadvantaged children to leave on the grounds of wanting to repent. How could Mami be solemn worship if remembering their innocent faces needed the help of foster parents. At the beginning of each month they are always waiting for donors to come here to make a living for them. Once, when Mami came here late to make a donation. They are very into the search and wonder to the foundation manager why Mami has not come. At the time, Mami was being treated in the hospital. They came to visit Mami in crowds and prayed for Mami to get well soon. Their support is what makes Mami eager again to heal, because Mami thinks that Mami is still in need by many people. Although Mami knew what Mami was doing was not a good thing, but Mami sincerely did it for the sake of humanity. Enough of God to judge it. Because God Himself created all beings out of love, it is enough that we live this life with love." He went back to silence. Like thinking of something. 

And I also kept quiet, waiting for the next story to come out of his mouth. Really, now I really admire Mami's principles. As it turns out, a person can not be judged from the outside alone before we know how to fill it. Maybe the case looks bad but not necessarily the contents are also bad.

"Life is like a painting on white paper, Ra! There you'll find a lot of color scratches. There are red, yellow, green, blue, and there are also black colors. And we're a streak that's black. Without that black streak, a painting would not look perfect. And you know who painted it?" I'm back to shaking. That's all I could do when Mami asked. Because I am a student and still have little experience.

"The painter is God. He is the All-powerful and the All-wise. He is the one who determines life. We can only try, but we cannot decide. Because he is also a judge." He took a deep breath as if he had let out a heavy burden in his mind.

"From that, never blame God's decision, Ra! It is enough to think well of Him. Accept his decision and do not give up. If even God decided to punish Mami in the afterlife for breaking her prohibition. God willing Mami sincerely. Mami's only hope and Mami always begs Him. So that He keeps Mami's heart to always remember and think well of Him. Let Mami's hand she cut off, Mami's body She burns, Mami's tongue She scissors. As long as Mami's heart remains, she takes care of it. That's Mami's hope to this day." I cried again to hear Mami's words. What a deep Mami says is a very precious spiritual experience for me. I really salute with Mami's determination.

"A Diamond Diamond will still sparkle even in the mud." Those words just came out of my mouth.

My mom set her eyes on me. Staring with serious eyes.

Whahuh? I misspoke, right? Diamond or Gold?

*****