CHASING THE WIFE'S APOLOGY
Remembering Brother Bells

Hoping on something that would clearly never be possible, is a form of human despair of the destiny that he lived. Hoping to leave, someone left behind will feel lost, but the reality is not in accordance with reality, will certainly make anyone disappointed and hurt.

Kate, after a few days of never seeing her husband. When her heart felt that something bad had happened to her husband, she had to be disappointed once again. Someone sent two photos that were all photos of Gaffi being together with the woman who had become a thorn in her flesh, Emily.

The first photo shows Gaffi and Emily hugging each other, especially Emily's face is so happy because it can be together with Gaffi. And the second photo, seen Emily kissed Gaffi's right cheek and again the man just kept quiet without trying to resist.

Kate realized, for Gaffi himself is not someone who is present in his life, but someone who stops and will leave his life. Kate was disappointed, her heart was hoping for more until she was hurt again. However, as this event further strengthened his heart to leave.

" You saw it... The man is back.. You're the stupid one expecting something unnecessary like this. "mock something inside Kate.

" I know I'm stupid, but I really don't mean anything in life. I. I just want him to think of me as a woman who is his wife. "sadly Kate said.

" In your dreams... Keep dreaming and you'll keep getting hurt. Already let me face the man, I guarantee the man will get the lesson he deserves. "something back in Kate said.

" You want to see him? Then what are you gonna do? " ask Kate a little panicked.

" Something you can't say... I'll say it.. "

Kate looked up at the glass window in her room. Staring at the bright afternoon sky, was like making fun of his overcast mood.

Kate plans to go out with her parents today but with what just happened, Kate is lazy to get out of the house. Kate wants to stay in her room and mourn her fate as an unexpected wife.

Kate sighed tiredly, it felt like the burden on both shoulders was so heavy at the moment. The burden he should have put when he could no longer be with Gaffi, but in fact he still carried alone all this time. Kate feels that her life has been too chaotic since the incident where she was the perpetrator of the Bellvania Rudolf death case.

" Sister Bells, if you were here, what would you say to me? " ask Kate, looking up at the sky.

" You know without you I also feel lost and lonely. We always share, but now I'm all alone. Heavy, this burden of life is too heavy, what should I do... " Kate muttered to himself.

Kate recalls her days when Bellvania was still a psychologist dealing with her mental illness. A beautiful woman with a gentle demeanor can always make Kate's day calm. For Kate, her encounter with Bellvania was such a wonderful gift. Feels like an oasis in the desert, so Bellvania's presence to Kate.

" Hey, my name is Bellvania, you can call me Bells... It's good to see you... "

Bellvania's first words were when he met Kate at a private hospital in Rome. At that time Kate was in a bad mental state and intended to try to see a psychologist and ask how to deal with this mental illness.

That's when a nurse who was in the receptionist section advised Kate to meet with dr. Bellvania Rudolf, an ophthalmologist and now a psychologist. According to a review of some patients who came to consult him, almost all felt comfortable when holding a confiding session with the woman's doctor. Kate followed the nurse's advice.

" *I.. I'm having.... "

" GAD, right? Or more simply called generalized anxiety disorder.. But let me know where your disease is... "

" I was once someone else when I was in such a scary state. I became someone else with the same body but a different personality. I can even hear the guy talking to me... Is this bad? "

" Outdoor alter... The condition where you form an identity or character that you so crave, so you turn on that character because you can't realize it. It's possible that you created it to cover your true self where your true self is so scary and you don't want to remember it... "

" Is that bad? "

" It's bad if you lose your true identity. Because basically humans only have one personality, if mixed then you will lose your true identity and become someone who is not yourself.. "

" The fear is to be resisted, not to be used as an excuse for you to escape reality*.. "

The first conversation between Kate and Bellvania was still remembered in Kate's memories of Gaffi's first wife. The woman who is so charismatic, has inner beauty, is generous and the most makes Kate fall in love is Bellvania always has a good side in her. A person who always thinks positively and never blames others.

A beautiful first impression makes Kate and Bellvania friends. The two often communicate with each other to ask news and activities. Until when Bellvania says he will get married, Kate was reunited with his candidate who turned out to be Gaffi. Married by accident, making Bellvania immediately married Gaffi at that time.

It was the first time Kate met and immediately fell in love with Gaffi. The man who works as a neurologist is so friendly and smiley. Always seem to love Bellvania wherever and when you are. But look at the man now, it scratches the deepest wound in Kate's life.

Kate is back to herself in the present. It was in the days that left her much hurt and suffering but it has given her what you wanted all along. Together with the man she loves, though not as she hopes.

" It's better to ever have than never... "

The words that Bellvania spoke on his wedding day with Gaffi.

Kate smiled, her first smile of the day, remembering all her memories with Bellvania. Gaffi's first wife, a friend of his past and someone who motivated him the most.