DIVORCE DEED
I Love You

"Sarin"

Samuel and I walked to the car park. It was so good to taste Japanese food so delicious.

"Yeah?"

"Are you happy?"

"Of course, the food is good"

"Not that"

I looked towards Samuel. The man stopped his steps.

"Then?"

"Are you happy to be by my side?"

"If I'm not happy, why am I here now with you?"

Samuel smiled at me. I'm sure that's not the kind of answer he wants to hear.

"What...I can continue to be by your side?"

I hit his hand while laughing. But Samuel looked serious this time.

"You're talking about what Sam is"

The man took both my hands. Now he's made me feel so good.

"I love you Rin"

I looked into his eyes. I'm honestly surprised. Samuel didn't have much importance expressing his feelings to me.

"I know it's not the right time, but I don't want to delay Rin anymore"

"I don't want to lose you a second time, can I be by your side forever?"

I let go of Samuel's grasp. Afraid someone would recognize us here. I'm still the legal wife of Aditya mas, it doesn't feel right to do this in public.

"As much as you want how Rin is, the most important thing is that I have said what I feel. To be honest, I came to America just to forget you. But it turns out I can't"

I shut my mouth. How could Samuel do all that. The man had never touched on this before.

"Aditya once promised that he would take good care of you, but he lied to me. He just hurt you."

"Pa......"

"If I had admitted it long ago, maybe you wouldn't have to face a time like Rin's."

"I don't have to run away either, I'm a coward. Compared to Aditya who came suddenly and proposed to you."

"That day, I guess was the day I could be honest with you. But as it turns out, you came and said that Aditya had proposed to you."

The man was breathing heavily. I still can't believe that I've hurt someone in the past. I didn't know Samuel.

Suddenly the rain came down upon us. Samuel still closed his eyes looking up at the sky. I can hold back my tears. I've hurt her.

"I just don't want you to get hurt anymore Rin. But, if the decision to divorce it will only make you hurt. I hope you don't do it"

"At first I was grinning, you'd eventually split from Aditya. But, to be honest, I can't bear to see you continue to be sad."

"These few days I saw love in your eyes, so great love for Aditya"

"Greater than when you first fell in love with that man Rin. At that time I finally understood, if I wasn't meant for you."

Kalu's lips. It is hard to answer Samuel.

"Zayyen needs you."

"I'm sorry Sam, I don't know"

The man looked at me. His eyes highlighted the sincerity within my eyeballs.

"I'll resign as your lawyer from today"

"Whatever you're gonna do, it's up to you Karin."

The man stood there. I can't survive like this.

"Go Karin"

The man's tone was now starting to sound heavy. I ran away from him. I can't tell you what's going on.

(Part 2 chapter 29)

I looked at the pictures while I was in college. Some pictures taken during the event at our faculty. Samuel and I were that close. Only he who from the beginning would accept me. Child from a college institution on a full scholarship.

"Samuel is his son"

My mother came and sat beside me. I looked at him and replied with a smile.

"Mama knew from the beginning that she liked you"

Mama stroked my hair.

"Divorce or not, it's all in your hands. All about your future Karin, mama believe in you."

"Whatever makes you happy, do it"

I can't hold back my tears. There are so many differences at the end of my life. Between continuing with Aditya mas, or even parting with him. Especially now that I knew Samuel loved me so much. I pray I hurt him.

"What should I do yesterday? Karin's confused"

"All in your heart, pray to God. He is the most helpful, may Allah

give you the best path."

Mama's right. Next week is the second trial of my divorce proceedings and Ams Aditya. I've never involved God in every step I take.

"Lord, if my decision is the most appropriate for me, then make it easy for me. But if survival is the best way, glorify it is God"

Tonight I'm throwing it all to God. After praying my heart was completely calm. I don't think my shoulders were as heavy as last day. It is like water eventually evaporating into space.

The lowest point in my life is not now, but I feel like I'm losing my way. If it wasn't for my mom giving me advice, I might still be thinking tonight. The cancer cells in my uterus may grow again.

I looked at our picture at the hospital. Me, Zayyen and baby sister. They really need a mother. All this time I always put my ego first, until I forget other people also need me.

Lana's right. I don't have to give birth to be a mother. Zayyen needs me. God sent them so I could feel like a mother.

This is the way of God and the destiny I have to live. Every time something is taken from me, God will replace it with a better right than all of that.

I'll drop my lawsuit. I'll try to apologize for Aditya's mas. The man will try to fix everything that has happened. We will raise Zayyen and her sister together. Raising Aditya mas children, my children, our children.

(Frost...).

Phone's ringing. There's a phone from Inara. I quickly lifted him up.

"Bakkk.."

"Why Aditya na? Speak clearly"

"Mas Aditya accident"

I'm shocked. Not likely. Why is this happening. I was just trying to open my heart to her, but why would she even have an accident like this.

"How's Ina doing?"

I faintly heard the sound of Zayyen's cry. The boy sounded hysterical.

"Mas Aditya is now critical"

"Zayyen? Is he hurt too?"

"Zayyen is fine, but Aditya was in an accident when he wanted to pick up Zayyen from his mother's house"

"His car hit a truck on the street"

"Where is he now?"

"At the pelita mbak hospital"

"I'll be there soon"