Dusty is my husband
5

In our first year in our hometown, Tika

has been able to pioneer the convection business he managed in our home by utilizing

former warehouse. The warehouse that was once a storage area for various junkyards is now a place of business. And my wife hired teenagers who were unemployed. Although

just finished learning the course, my wife ventured to open her convection business with a mediocre mode. Though I was very pessimistic at the time, the effort would have worked.

As time passed, my wife's convection effort slowly showed tangible results. His efforts are becoming more known to people. And automatic economic family finally.

It can be said that the electricity that covers all our household costs at that time. Because I'm unemployed. Deep down inside my heart

I feel burdened too. Even I'm afraid that my wife doesn't need me anymore. Slowly I felt my pride begin to erode. Not infrequently I expect my wife's business to suddenly go bankrupt, so that my self-esteem is normal again.

Selfish, indeed! But that's the truth.I'd rather be happy and proud if my wife depended on me. Though the condition at that time, I who was still unemployed was not able to be his back.

Somehow the thought came to my mind, and continued to be toxic that gnawed at my heart. Though Tika's attitude and attention did not change at all. Even though he is busy with his efforts

she continues to carry out her duties as a good wife. There was never a complaint. My wife is perfect in my eyes. Even for the needs of my mother and brothers, my wife also opened her hands to

helped pay for my sisters' college. This is getting me worse. I'm getting more frustrated. It's not like I'm not trying to find a job. All the ways I tried but still did not produce results. Tika did ask me to cooperate, help her. But my high ego felt ogah to fulfill his offer.

Fortunately after being unemployed for more than a year, I got a job with the help of a friend. Become a salesman of cigarette products. When I told you about the news. Tika was very happy, and supported me. Although it's a bit heavy two flavors because I'll be out of town more often.

"How long did you go out of town" he asked at the time, arranging my clothes and other family into a backpack.

"Not knowing the deck, maybe a week, could be more" I said. I saw a fog in his eyes. I don't know why he was sad when I went to work.

"Actually Adek, heavy melwpasmu, 'Bang." My wife held my arm and struggled spoiled.

" Geez, deck. This brother left, to fulfill the responsibility of brother as head of the household. Should have supported Brother, instead of saying so,"

"It was a long week, Bang. There are no friends here. Why don't you want to help me manage our business. You don't have to go all the way like this"

"You have to understand the feeling of Brother, Dek. Let Brother work according to conscience, Brother. What would people say later, if this brother cooperates with his own wife. It's not good."

" Eh, that's not what you mean, Brother, Dek." I said sigh because of the wrong talk. His face was bent, then pulled the zipper bag, after all my needs were arranged in it. Seeing her who was suddenly silent, I felt sorry for feeling guilty as well.

"I'm sorry Brother, Deck. Brother doesn't have the capacity to talk that way," I grabbed his body and I held him in my arms. My wife sobbed in my arms and buried her face even more as I stroked her head.

" Adek did not think, Brother had such thoughts

though all this Adek do for our family, bang. Not just for my own loss,"

" Have the deck, brother, I'm sorry. Brother did this for you too. Brother will be more proud if able to make you happy, with brother's efforts."

" Grand also apologized, yeah. Because I misunderstood." he whispered softly.Kul loosen my embrace and I look at the shady face. I wiped the tears that were still left in the corner of her eyes. Ah, why is my heart so hard to accept its existence without having to feel underestimated. My wife was so sincere in loving me. And he is my heart's choice. My admiration began with his independence.

I b*b*r my wife, as a sign of my regret

because it made him cry. I never doubted his love for me, which he always gave me. Like that night when I demanded that he serve my passion. He always filled her with love. He just doesn't want to be far away and always with me, that's his confession

to me that night which he spoke softly just before falling asleep as I satisfied his inner living.

But, as time goes on. I don't know who started it. Or where the smoke came from. So slowly there was a burning ember between us. Which one day will be ready to burn down my household. Just waiting for time. As long as I don't intend to put it out, the husk will get hotter!

I'm the one who's been playing with fire. For the last three years I have lied to my wife. A lie I started on every trip I made out of town. I've piled up those coals.

Exactly in the third year of my marriage, when my wife was pregnant, the dream that we had long dreamed of finally materialized. That sense of happiness is indescribable

with words. And while pregnant, Tika could no longer serve me as she used to. And in that moment of vulnerability, Tanoa deliberately met back with Rani my ex-boyfriend during high school first.

We met in Siantar, when Rudi and I were out of town. The meeting was initially ordinary. It ended up being amazing and always met. Rani was one of our subscriptions, she opened a grocery business. And once a month we will fill our products in the store.

Rani has become a widow, she divorced her husband because her five-year marriage has not yet had children. Eventually her husband cheated on her and had a child from her affair. Instead of in honey Rani chose divorce. But strangely, Rani was willing to be my wife's honeymoon.But our marriage was done in silence. His home village was Rani, in Sipirok.

About my second marriage no one knew about it except my mother and brothers. In less than three years, I can keep that secret meeting. Even Rani I brought her to live with my mother and introduced her as my cousin to my wife and others.

Sometimes the guilt always comes gnawing, and my secret worries will be exposed.Will but all has already happened, I have wallowed and entangled, I have been entangled, I don't know in what way all my lies will be able to cover up. From one lie to cover another lie. Turning around, it really makes me tired too.