Garden Benches
The Delayed Decision

The delayed decision

Life goes on, like it or not like problems will always come. Decisions must always be made, now or later we must act immediately.

 She sat next to me with her soft face. Staring at me lovingly like when I was a kid. Ghifa was playing with Bik Nah in the kitchen, occasionally heard her cheerful little laugh. We were in the living room, with the TV on broadcasting the morning news. Although our eyes were on the screen of the data, but the broadcast only became accompanying music. 

“Gie, yesterday I had a chat with Citra.”

The opening words from Mom, made me know the direction this conversation was going.

“Partner to home, Bu?”

“No.”

I clasped my forehead, Mother slapped my thighs.

“It is precisely because this week Citra has never played at home that Mother ask her.”

“Mother called her?”

“Iya.”

“Oooh.”

Mother turned her head and ruffled my hair furiously. 

“Kok, just ooo, Gie? You do not want to know the chat Mother with Citra?”

“Hehehe ..” 

I got a warm fried banana that's been sitting on the table, diverting the ledge of Mom that I'm sure I'll be receiving in a minute.

“You know not?”

“Ah Mother, that's a fellow woman's chat right? So, maybe I don't need to know.” My elak.

While sagging I sat on the carpet, and leaned against the foot of the sofa that was parallel to Mom's feet.

“Basic you, Gie! Insensitive!” pinch Mom on my shoulder pissed off.

“Hehehe .. mercy Bu,” My seruku.

I put in the last bite and then I swallow with a sip of creamer milk that is still puffing steam, delicious.

“Gie ..Gie, when are you like this tho Le?”

Squeeze my palms with tissue, until dry.  Then both of my hands began to gently massage my mother's feet.

“Means Mother?”

I looked up, I saw a moment of clouding in the face of the old man who had bestowed his affection on me, my heart rustling.

“Do you have no desire to marry again? You know, ever since Ardi and Lidya's son was born, Ghifa always wanted to have a sister!”

“Hahaha, I don't know Ghifa, Buk. Cat gives birth only she wants to have a sister cat,”

I felt an anxious pinch pouncing on my shoulder..

“Aduhhh sick Buk!’

“Gie, Gie, right Ardi said. You are insensitive!”

I snort. What did Ardi say to Mom, so Mom was so upset with me? Watch out for you Ar!

“Iya deh, what do I screw Mom with Citra?”

Mom sighed, then stroked my hair.

“Citra said that her parents asked her to get married soon.  The son of his father's business friend, came to apply for Citra, he used to be Citra's friend during college.”

I shut up, was Anton what was meant?

“Then, what does it have to do with Gie, Buk?”

A chair cushion was patted on my back with a squash.

“Gie, why do you think Citra's parents are waiting for you?”

I was silent, honestly I did not see a connection, after all the relationship that happened between me and Citra was a friendship? Like me and Ardi and Lidya? Merely friends, does Citra consider it more than that? I never discussed taste with him.

“According to Mother?”

I asked back, maybe you have a more appropriate answer.

“Do you really not have the slightest taste for Citra. Le?”

I looked at Mom with reverence.

“I'm sorry I buk, Laras just left, is it worth it for me to cultivate a taste in Citra?”

Mother's hand tried to reach for the cup that contained warm tea, I quickly picked it up, then put it back after drinking it a few sips.

“It's been three years, Gie. Socially, it's legal for you to remarry. But I won't force it, it all depends on your heart.”

“Im sorry Gie ya buk. Gie does not want if married again, my wife will feel always cheated, it will certainly be very painful.” 

My lips are my, I look at Mother who smiles understandingly.

“Then you already know what you're going to tell the parents Citra right, Le? Tell me the truth, even if it will hurt. But it's better to be open at the beginning, than you force yourself to accept it as a companion to life.  But you always feel guilty at all times."

“Mother?”

I looked at Mother's shady face.

“I will always support you, Le. Do your best, Laras is gone, but not with love and presence in your heart, I understand what you feel. But it is better to take a stand, than to give pseudo hope,”

“Good, Mom. That's what I have to do,” I replied for sure.

“Dah, now tell me the news, when will you dress up to Citra.” house

My mother gave up my gaze which was next to her sitting, I received for sure.

“Later afternoon, bu?”

“Ya, faster better.”

Mother smiled meaningfully. Strengthened myself to act immediately, Laras what do you think?

*****

I put the black into the courtyard of Citra's house, this time I myself without Ghifa or Bik Nah.  Moreover, Mother, she will only take me if to propose Citra, he said. But of course that's not what I'm gonna do. The image has a better future than me.

“Asssalamaicum ..”

Sapaku, both Citra parents turned out to have been waiting in the pendopo as well as Citra.

“Waalaikumsalam, Nak Gie, please-please, ayok please sit.” Welcome Mr. Citra while welcoming my hand.

“Thank you, dad, Mom.”

I then sat down, taking the spot facing the two Citra parents sat down,

“Kok Ghifa not invited, Gie?”

Ask Citra while looking. But I was the only one getting out of that car.

“Ohh earlier Ghifa asked to play to Adam's place, so can't come.” I answered, I saw Citra's eyes a little disappointed, but then she smiled back, before looking back.

“How's Mom doing, Mas Gielang?

“Alhamdulilah, good Bu.”

“Once you invite him to come here, we will be like his own family, Nak Gie.”

I choked, Mr. Citra said calmly.

“Insha Allah, Sir. Someday later.”

The image back comes with four cups of hot ginger.  The steam looks still steaming, fitting once when the drizzle starts to drip. Spoons.

“Please, Nak make warm-warm,”

"Thank you, Buk. Let's Sir,”

I took my cup, after Mr. Citra took his cup. Sip it for a while, then put it back. And followed.

“Begini, Mas Gielang. I want to tell you first.  Consider this you are asking for your opinion, because you already consider Mas Gielang like our own son,”

Deg.

I try to control my breath. It's just asking for an opinion. But, if the opinion I give is followed, then on the way forward reap problems, then what?

"Excuse me, Father, I will listen,” I replied softly. The image looked at me then looked down when I caught it.

The atmosphere became silent for a moment, but the drizzling drizzle that fell on the foliage made its own rhythm and tone.

“Does Mas Gielang know Nak Anton?”

I nodded, I looked at the two Citra parents in turn. 

“Honestly, Mom, I don't know Anton yet. But I met him once,” I replied at last.

Mr. Cipto looked at Bu Cipto for a moment before continuing his question. I waited to try as quietly as possible, despite a sigh that suddenly came to my chest, when I saw the face of Citra not as cheerful as usual.

“According to Mas Gie, How about Citra marry Anton?”

……