Garden Benches
Honesty That Pain

Honesty That Pain

Be honest even if it hurts, because starting something with a lie will only give birth to a new lie.

Mr. Cipto looked at Bu Cipto for a moment before continuing his question. I waited to try as quietly as possible, despite a sigh that suddenly came to my chest, when I saw the face of Citra not as cheerful as usual.

“According to Gie, How about Citra get married to Anton?”

I smiled trying to neutralize the taste.

“In my opinion it all depends on the Image Sir, because Citra knows more about the nature and character of Anton. Isn't he a college friend? If I am alone, sorry I have not been able to assess the advantages or disadvantages of Anton.”

Pak and Bu Cipto seem to be breathing heavily. I felt something that had not been conveyed by him, when I saw Bu Cipto blink his eyes to strengthen towards Mr. Cipto. While Citra is getting down, playing the peach tunic she wears with gray jeans.

“Mas Gie, Anton was actually the son of a business friend of Mr. Our family is indeed close, especially when many Infrastructure projects involve our services as a provider of raw materials. We then often work together. Well, it turns out that Anton Nak has long liked Citra, even from the time of college, he had time to express his heart. But Mas Gielang knows what kind of image?”

I smiled knots, actually I also do not know how Citra really is. He came into my life and Ghifa just like that. Since Ghifa was a baby, she used to come home, whether I was or not, she didn't care. Because the concern is Ghifa, in my opinion, so I don't have to think too far. I've been so lucky, Ghifa grew up with him. And it turns out that time passed so quickly, three years already and I have not known Citra, is this what Mother told me? Insensitive?

Mr. Cipto sipped his wedang gahe back, then he continued;

“Nah, the intention of Nak Anton to make the image of his life companion expressed again, not only on Citra, but he proposed directly to Mother and Father. Mas Gie, know what Citra answers?”

“What, Sir?”

“Partra does not want to part with Ghifa.”

I jerked. Suddenly the guilt entered my soul, was I the cause, so that the mutual bond between Citra and Ghifa was so strong? I looked at Citra, but she did not want to look up at all. I became restless.

“Sorry, has Citra not given any answers to Anton, sir?”

Mr. Cipto shook his head.

“This is what I want to ask you, Mas Gielang. How do you think?”

I really can't dwell, don't want to part with Ghifa is that the same as not wanting to stay away from me? It's ridiculous! How could I not care about all this?

“I'm sorry Sir, Buk. It all comes back to the image. Any time Citra wants the door open for her to meet with Ghifa. Not because of us, Citra risked her own happiness.”

I said it very slowly and carefully.  I don't want the words I say to make the atmosphere even more clumsy.

“Does Mas Gie, not want to marry again?”

Deg.

I suddenly looked up, the two old men in front of me looking at me wanting to know the truth immediately.

“I'm sorry, it has never crossed my mind. E, e..”

Suddenly my tongue became a cloud. I saw a disappointed look in the eyes of Mr. Cipto and Bu Cipto, but wisely he both smiled again.

“Citra once told me about Mas Gielang who loved his wife so much that he never thought of remarrying. Although Mas Gielang's wife is dead, but it seems to still exist.  Therefore, we as parents ask Citra to consider Anton's proposal. Mas Gielang doesn't mind, to?”

Glug. Mr. Cipto's voice was full of pressure.

Mind it? What right? Did Citra apply these conditions to be able to accept Anton? Is this what Anton meant, to release the Image for him? But back, what right do I have?

“White, Sir, Buk. If it's the best decision for the image I'm very supportive. I'm sorry, if I and Ghifa inconvenienced father, Mother and Citra all this time.”

My words seem heavy spoken, but doubt will only add to the pointed problem. So I decided to convey what it was even though it would be very painful.

“Oooh no, Mas Gielang. The image from the past likes a child, he is ragil. So when I got the story from Agung, Mas Gielang remembered Nak Agung right?”

“Well it! Nak Agung who tells the story of mas Gielang, finally yes as it has happened. Citra loves Ghifa selflessly.”

I lowered my head, rethinking whether the decision I made was right?

“If there are no more problems, Insha Allah the marriage of Citra and Anton will be carried out in this month, Mas Gielang. Because all the preparations were done from last week. That's what we actually want to tell Gielang mas, so as not to happen oddities later on.”

I again gasped, 'so all this just to make sure I don't become a hindrance?'' My point of view captured a silent image. I have no problem answering.

“Gggih Sir, may Citra be happy with Anton. Relax, just Cit. You will still be free to play with Ghifa,” selorohku.

The image looked up, looked at me straight, gave her a smile, but why did I see it so bitter? I didn't hear a word in his voice, as long as I talked to his parents. 'What's up? Did I hurt her heart?'' While Pak and Bu Cipto look relieved breathing. Bu Cipto's left hand clasped Citra's shoulder leading her into an embrace.

“Thank you, Mas Gielang for his understanding and support, may the marriage of Citra and Anton tomorrow go smoothly. Helped you, yes..”

Miss Cipto looked at me expectantly.

“Aamiin .. God's Insha, Buk. Ready whatever I need to help,”

The drizzle is still falling, the wet wind is hitting my body until the cold I think. A car entered the courtyard from the right gate, stopping beside the pendopo. I saw someone in orange t-shirts and black jeans get out of the car, carrying a package, he said,

“Well, That's Anton's Boy. Waiting for this you know ..” Bu Cipto stands to welcome the person who turns out Anton. 

“Assalamualaikum Buk, this little by-by.” Greetings takzim Anton while giving the package he brought. With both of his narrow eyes he looked at me full of probes.

“Thank you, yes Son Anton. Citra ... here nduk," call Bu Cipto.

The image is reluctant.

“Iya, Buk.”

“Yok, go back first ..” invite Bu Cipto again. Imagery according.

Anton then sat down next to Mr. Cipto, who then patted his shoulders in relief.

“Have finished the preparation to Nak Anton?  Just spread out the invitation!”

Anton was shocked, looked at me and then Mr. Cipto took turns.

“Partners have agreed, Sir?”

Mr. Cipto nodded.

“Thank you, thank you Sir!” Anton kissed the back of Mr. Cipto's hand, relief and happiness radiating strongly on his face.

“Thank you, Gie. Thanks to you, our marriage is about to take place. Help yes, good luck!”

Anton extended his hand towards me, I greeted warmly.

“Congratulations yes, Ton!”

Cheerful laughter colored the faces that had been tense for a moment. I was stunned, that realization came later. For as long as I can remember there was not a word of consent coming out of the mouth of Citra. During the conversation, what was asked was my agreement. Suddenly I became very guilty of Citra, how exactly did she feel and desire?

Ahhh, the drizzle is still reluctant to stop, 'did the same drizzle also fall on the Garden Bench, Laras?''

……