Gendhis
Chapter 18 As a Cocoon, I Must Be Strong
I sat in my room with my phone in my hand. My heart was pounding when I decided to call Dad. I need financial assistance for the scholarship registration fee. With hesitation, I pressed my father's number and waited for the call to be lifted.
"Hello, Dad," I said in a soft voice.
"Hello, anyway,. What's up Ndis? Dad's on the road, what's the matter?" my father replied with a slight yell, the voice of a person speaking a language I did not understand.
I bit my lip, then hesitantly, I asked for help.
"Dad, sorry to interrupt. Can you help Genthis with money? Gendhis was accepted to study the scholarship track Well, but in the beginning he had to pay his enrollment fee in half." Say it slowly. Instead of being happy to hear his son get a father's scholarship instead of asking about my scholarship, again and again I get treatment that actually turns off my character to progress and develop from my father.
“Students really have to pay in advance, you are not too innocent later fraud and you run out of money and continue to lecture bodong.” Said Dad so lightly, he did not know my struggle to get this opportunity.
“Everything is only ten million rupiah until graduation Well, the rest can be in installments until graduation, but at the beginning must pay 5 as well. Gendhis is ashamed to have to borrow the same place where the foundation is Gendhis.” Obviously I was with Dad.
“Ya tell you who college, from the first father has told you not to go to college. Just work, and your mother does not have to take care of it. You said you put it in the foundation why you still have to help every month. One more of these I've taken care of the divorce papers for your mother. Later if there is from the court father asks you not to make it difficult for father's business to part with your mother.
My chest rumbled, my heart filled with disappointment, sadness, and anger. My dad just told me that he wants a divorce with my mom. It felt like a world was breaking before my eyes. I never expected that my father, the one whom I had always considered to be the only one who could be leaning on would now also leave me. Back God seemed to give me a lesson that it was not Father who provided my needs but God, Father was only an intermediary for my sustenance and mother all this time. Now I decided to leave my mother. I feel betrayed, not only by my father, but also by the feeling of trust and family integrity that I have always held tightly.
No, mother was my pillar of strength since I was a child. Even though mom has limitations as a person with a disability, I will not give up just because now I have to go back to receiving bad news. Everyone has a future and a mass, and I am currently carving my mass for the future, regardless of whether it is beautiful or not in my future. Ever since I was a child, I knew that my mother had special needs. However, it was never a barrier for me to love him. I learned to be tough and independent, helping my mother in everything I could. I took care of her, looked after her, and provided unwavering support in our lives. Until now I have reached the point where I have the opportunity to get one step closer to my dream, go to college and find a decent job and of course become an established person, that was my dream from a long time ago.
I took a deep breath before repeating what my father had just said.
“Did father not think about my future, many times father hurt me and mother.” Say it with a voice full of emotion.
In a cynical tone, my father answered what I said with an octave higher than his tone.
“Don't pretend like you know everything, Gendhis. Your mother doesn't deserve better treatment. I've been patient enough all this time.” Speak lightly.
I'm starting to feel desperate.
“Daddy, does mother not mean much anymore until now father dumped mother? Mom like this is also because of dad isn't it?” I said full of emotion.
“You're too young to understand what's really going on, I don't need your advice!” Father say.
“This is the best solution for your father, you and mother. Point!”
Tuuut…. Tuuttts.
Phone connection disconnected. I feel trapped in the middle of this conflict. As I was crying with the phone I put on the desk, Vya appeared in the doorway with her laptop backpack. I hugged him, the shoulder of my best friend was really a solace. I cried as much as in Vya's arms, she did not dare to ask what happened, when satisfied my tears soaked her cheeks up to her tosca hijab, she did not dare to ask what happened, he just dared to ask about what makes me cry so much in the middle of the news that I should be happy. I told Vya what had just happened. You have to learn to accept reality, Gendhis. This is life, and not everything goes your way. Stop with this drama.
“You must learn to accept reality, Genphis. This is life, and not everything goes your way. Simply stop with this drama.” Vya said as she clasped both my hands.
I knew that I had to be strong for my mother. I must give unwavering support and courage to face an uncertain future. I will remain a filial son to my mother, looking after her, and creating happiness in our lives. Even though I feel hurt and disappointed, I will not let those feelings destroy me. I will build a new life with my mother, face challenges with courage, and keep our family as strong as I can. With a broken heart and a chaotic mind, I feel hopeless. After a conflicted conversation with my father, I felt trapped in a situation where there was no way out. Tears ran down my cheeks as I sat alone in her room. I felt lost and didn't know what I should do next. I was thinking about how my family could end up like this. It was anger and sadness that filled my heart, and made me feel trapped in conflicting decisions and feelings.
In my despair, Vya is another place that can always give me spirit. Vya listened attentively, providing support and understanding. He comforted me, gave me wise counsel, and assured me that I was not alone in the face of this predicament.
"He may not realize the extent to which his actions affect us, Gendhis," Vya said softly. "But we're gonna get through this together. We will seek the power within ourselves and find ways to live a better life. We're using the central line." Vya said by mimicking the Gus Idham accent, one of the Favorite traditions for people like me. More trouble than pleasure. I smiled at the style and the accent Vya made. I pinched his nose. Hearing Vya's words, I felt a little relieved. Vya is an irreplaceable source of love and support for me. I felt heard and appreciated by Vya, who gave me hope that there was a light at the end of this dark tunnel.
In my despair, I realized that I was not alone. I have Vya who is always there for me, she is a friend and I consider a caring family, who are ready to support me, whether I repay all the kindness of my friend. Despite the difficult situation, I knew I had the strength to get up and find a better solution.
With a newfound determination, I promised myself that I would not give up. I will look for ways to bring about positive change in my life, creating new happiness for myself and the people who love me.
With a calmer mind and a hopeful heart, I thank Vya for her support and irreplaceable love.
“Trank you Vy,”, I said, as he was busy getting his laptop out of a black backpack.
“Please promise to stay strong we will Together pass all the difficulties that exist.” Vya said as she rolled her eyes.
I also clenched my hands trying to keep showing my smile even though my heart was broken, I do not want my best friend to feel in vain to give encouragement if I am still sad. I took the files to fill in the data that will be collected tomorrow to the University where I am going to college.
“If today we are friends, tomorrow we will remain friends of Vya. We'll be friends like butterflies. If so cocoon we can be Together, later when it has beautiful wings we will remain friendly right?” I said to Vya.
“We used to be friends, friends like caterpillars until he shines again.” Vya said while moving his head to the rhythm of the song he played from his laptop.