I'm Too Tired of Trying
19. visit
" you know I keep thinking, actually what makes you guys not understand me, you know, I want to yell at you guys but, actually, what makes you guys not understand me, back then I kept forcing me to shut up and think you guys would understand me more than I understand you guys but you know the truth is not like that , the more I shut up the more I felt pain , I'm trying to treat myself but how else my pain doesn't match the medicine I'm taking you know what happens if the sick person takes the wrong medicine , you know he's gonna get sicker and sicker until he takes the right medicine but you also know even if that guy's been taking the right medicine for sure he still has pain , you know what it's because, it's because he's been taking the wrong drug more than the right drug so, uh, it is like I am getting sicker because of my silence and because your understanding is wrong and if you also start to understand me not necessarily I can forget all because as I said I am too much pain that makes me hard to forget because like people who have had surgery then you will see, there will certainly be a mark when the doctor wants to save instead of giving it a mark, like that even though you can understand me my pain must still be there and I can't forget it , because the very real stitching marks can be seen then that person may not forget that he was ever in surgery, so no matter how hard you try to make me forget , then it will only make me remember it more like when you are forbidden to do this it, then you will be more curious and want to know what is really behind it , I don't expect you to understand what I'm saying, I just want to tell you don't try to make a sick person feel healthy because it won't be able to " said Alia with glass turned her face away
" i don't mean I just want us all to live happily together relying on each other and not making boundaries with the other" said Alina softly " I don't want you to hope so I tell you, I can't live what you say because I'm used to living like that, you know that people who are used to anything will find it difficult to forget" said Alia closed her eyes
" what's going on" said Alex carrying food
" hm no " said Alina smiling
" i know you're lying" said Alex, looking at Alina, then turning to look at Alia, which made Alia look at her, "I just made her understand, just put her food down and you can go but, uh, you can go, you have to leave before I make myself understand about you and make myself feel pain, so go before I let out my emotions" Alia said flatly
" sister, let's go " said Alina pulled Alex who made Alex feel strange, arrived Alina back to how she was
" our brother left first tomorrow we will come again" said Alina smiling while holding Alex and they left
" why don't you guys come early, I keep looking forward to you guys, why just now, what made you guys come to me so long ago, am I so far away from you that you are not trying to come to me and just assume it is just a waste of your time" said Alia closing her eyes while letting out her tears loosely
" Lina, what Alia said "said Alex while driving "no" said Alina looking out the window "don't lie, I know there must be something " alex said but not answered by Alina "is she scolding you" Alex said
" sister, I don't want to talk about that" said Alina softly as she stared out
" all right, do you want a chocolate cake" Alex said
" no but, what if we can buy ice cream" said Alina looking at Alex who followed a nod from Alex that made Alina back to her original
" BI, young master where "said Silla who was neat "young master" said his servant thought
" young master Desta" said Silla "o , mister Desta had gone "said his servant "o yes already "said Silla "not want breakfast what "said his waiter said " no need , I go first yes "said Silla who followed a nod from her servant and left
" there is something we can help "said the company employee "mm I want to meet with Mr. Desta "said Silla doubt "have you made an appointment" said the employee
" not yet but can I meet you? I want to talk about something important ", Silla said
" well, I will convey it, please wait a minute, sorry on behalf of who "said the employee "just tell the person from the company ALSE" said Silla , the employee nodded and let Silla wait on the sofa near her ,
" hello, what's going on "desta's secretary said "there are people who want to meet with Mr. Desta, he said from ALSE company "said the employee "well, I'll tell you" said secretary Desta, then turned off his cell phone
" excuse me, sir" said his secretary in
" let's say "desta said flatly focused on her work "there are people who want to meet with the master, he said from the ALSE company "said his secretary, who made Desta stop and think " have him wait ', I'll see him after my work is done "Desta said back focus "well, excuse me" said his secretary then go and notify the employee
" we'll see how strong your employees are, you don't think I'm going to retaliate just look at Mr. Alex" said Desta smiling grin
" woman, please wait a minute" said the employee, Silla nodded, after two hours
" mbak, if Mr. Desta is still busy I will come back later" said Silla "wait a minute, miss, because after this maybe miss can not meet " said the employee " okay "say said Silla hesitated "o yes, the toilet where yes "said Silla "just straight from here then turn left in the corner" said the employee showed Silla direction , Silla nodded and left
" basic , Desta fucking he must have been on purpose because he knew I was coming" Silla said annoyedly and washed her face "if it wasn't for that rancid child, I wouldn't have wanted to see you , did you hear " said Silla annoyed
" the heartless base" said Silla resentfully, then came out with an irritated feeling
" jeez, I forgot the only threat" said Silla immediately picked up her phone, to tell her co-worker that she might be late and wanted to have her partner replace her for a while but, uh, suddenly Silla hit someone because of the focus on his cellphone and the employee was also focused on talking to other employees who made Silla's phone fall
" jeez, sorry mbak, sorry I accidentally "said Silla immediately apologized while looking down while looking for the phone that fell but did not know where