I'm Yours, Not His
Chapter 4

Nadira smiled, "I'm sorry that I just made Ru-dian's mistake".

"No Dira me" replied Rudian carrying Nadira sitting on the bed. Then Rudian gently stroked Nadira's right cheek as he said, "You're so beautiful, you're so beautiful".

"Thank you for praising me like this".

Rudian then dropped Nadira's body and hit him from above, "I don't know exactly what happened to me. Every time I meet you, you always manage to make me feel something churning down here. Even just thinking about you".

"really?" spoiled Nadira wrapped her hands around Rudian's neck. "Do you love me?".

"Always, I've always loved you my Nadira. But I don't know if you love me or not".

Nadira fell silent, after which he pulled the corner of his lips back in the form of a smile.

"If you really love me, what proof do you have to do to make me believe it? All women need proof of every word that comes out of a man's lips. Didn't we? Now tell me".

"Then, will you be my mistress".

Dengs!

Nadira immediately mute, he already knew that Rudian would answer like that. And it is so very much Nadira hate, because even so he has done with him, if to become a second wife and mistress he will never be willing to marry any man.

"What's Dira? Why are you so quiet like this? Did I disappoint you?".

"No".

"Why are you suddenly silent? You don't want to be my mistress?".

Nadira still did not answer, he raised his body sitting on the lip of the bed looking at Rudian with sadness.

"Sorry, I can't be your mistress".

Rudian was silent for a moment.

"Why? Why can't you Dira? Don't you trust me? I promise to make you happy and promise to love you at all times".

"All men will say so Rudian. All men will say that they will love the woman at any time. But sorry Rudian, those words I can't trust, I can't be your mistress".

Rudian tried to bring Nadira into his arms, but Nadira refused to shake his head.

"Sorry, I think it's best that our relationship gets here".

"No Dira, I don't want our relationship to get there. I can't lose you, I love you so much Nadira. Please don't leave me".

"I can't Rudi, I really can't with all this anymore. And I will return it...

"I don't need it Dira, everything I've ever given you I don't need it, it's all yours. And I beg Dira, don't leave me, I can't live without you, I can't without you" a tear fell on both cheeks.

"I'm sorry Rudian, I have to go" Nadira got up, but Rudian immediately blocked his footsteps and still begged Nadira never to leave him. "Please let me go".

"No, I won't let you go until you say you'll never end this relationship".

"I can't" Nadira rudely threw Rudian's hand and just left the room with tears dripping down while saying inwardly, "I'm sorry Rudian, please, sorry I can't play with my feelings".

After having a relationship of almost 1 month longer with Rudian, Nadira actually felt a little sense of growing up with Rudian, only he could not with all the ego. He realized that Rudian was married and had children from his legal wife.

Outside the hotel he cried, "Hiks.. I'm sorry hiks.. I'm sorry Rudian I'm sorry I can't linger like this. Aarrkkhhh, it hurts a lot, I love you too but I can't, I can't with all this aaarrrkkkhh hiks...".

.

DDDRR... DDDRR...

Rudian heard his phone ringing, he saw the call coming from his wife who was in London.

"Yes baby?" answer Rudian. "When are you going back to Indonesia?".

His wife Darita who was on the other side immediately smiled at Rudian's question who was impatient to see him again.

"Next week baby, next week we will be...

"No, tomorrow we will return to Indonesia pah" replied Marsel cut off Darita's talks. And Marsel is the only son of a couple of years of new business in London.

Rudian smiled, "Really? Papa was happy to hear that. I can't wait to see you guys soon".

"Yes pah, see you in Indonesia".

"Mmmm, I'll pick you up at the airport".

Then Marsel returned the phone back in Darita's hands, "Sorry to cut you both off".

"It's okay" Darita put the phone back on her right cheek. "Oh yes pah, papa would you like to bring what from London? Mama will look for him".

"Don't bother mah, seeing mama and Marsel just arrived here has made papa very happy" the two men laughed together.

"Yes already, then mama closed first yes pah. There is something my mom needs to finish. I love you pah".

"I love you too mah".

Rudian turned off his phone, not long after which the secretary entered to bring some documents that he had to sign. Then he said to the secretary yes it was, "You, tomorrow my son and wife will return to Indonesia. Please find Marsel's secretary as soon as possible".

"Okay, sir, I'll look for him".

"Mmmm, don't wear it for long. You can go".

"Excuse me, sir".

.

In the room Nadira was cool himself looking for a job vacancy. Because he thought, he should be free from his work like this and he had started to feel sick of this.

"Hmmss... It turned out that finding a job was not as easy as I had thought. Some of the companies I'm looking for, none of them accept employees. Where else would I look for a job?".

Nadira then came out of the room carrying a pack of cigarettes and also a lighter towards the backyard. He then sat himself down and took the cigarette out of his pack.

"What's wrong?".

Hearing the voice, Nadira guessed that the person was Sarah who was behind him.

"Last-lately I've seen you look so very moody. Is everything okay?".

Nadira shook his head with a sad face.

"Is this about your mother?".

"No, it's not about my mother anymore. I've stopped thinking about the mother I don't know where she is now".

"Then what are you thinking?".