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O God, I ask for refuge with You from grievances and sorrow, weakness and laziness, I ask for refuge with You from timidity and immorality, and I beg you to protect yourself from debt and be overrun by someone

(Hadith narrates Abu Daud)

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🌸بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ🌸

Happy reading

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“Terus?”

“I hate him. He likes to tell me that I mulu. Awaken the morning prayer, mendamahin the problem of clothing. Yes, although his tone is soft and pleasant to hear but I do not like it. Faris-“

“Stop, you still remember the same people. You have a good man and want to guide you. Throw away that jerk.”

“Yes, I also remember the jerk but the problem is, same Azhar a lot of rules. I was lazy to pray lectured, I came out wearing a short shirt to be reprimanded. Kayaking in pesantren tau no.”

“Udahlah, it's all for your good. Your husband nasehatin is nothing, it's a sign in love with you. He is in charge of the Dirim. So, he does not want you to mengesel later. In essence, you must be filial, loving, loving, and loving your husband all of your body's soul. Although your marriage is spelled out in a strange way impromptu bin but still it is not a game right?”

“I understand everything and I also do not want to play a wedding, but I do not know why my love-“

Azhar overheard the conversation his wife had with who across the phone. He who had left for campus chose to return to his apartment because there were files left behind. He did not expect to hear an honest confession from Sarah.

Even though she was ready with all these feelings and she was able to bear it, but still it hurt to know let alone Sarah talked about it in the back even Sarah seemed more free to behave to others than in front of her husband. Sarah looked like she was wearing a submissive and friendly face mask in front of Azhar and it was really painful.

Sarah hates him for setting her up so often, Sarah does not know whether she will love him or not. It's even possible that Sarah's given up from the beginning for that taste.

Azhar chose to cancel her intention to pick up the file she needed, she took off the door knob until it closed without a sound.

Sarah is not sure she can love him, Sarah hates him for not liking to be restrained and arranged and even reminded of prayer. The most painful thing was that he was compared to Faris. The man who had taken care of her. Does Sarah love that man so much? Is Sarah unable to forget her little things to learn to accept Azhar.

Azhar let out a heavy sigh and rubbed her face violently, “Yes Allah, I am injured today and keep myself from hurting her after this. Although my wound was caused by his words.”

Azhar drove out her car and chose to calm herself.

***

Return to the side of Sarah who was lying her body on the side of the apartment bed.

“I understand everything and I don't want to play a wedding either, but I don't know why my love for her can slowly be felt. Just a week ago I felt love and was afraid to hurt her. I felt unworthy to have everything done so quickly and I did not dare to love him with my many shortcomings. I hate him because he's so good to me.”

Sarah covered her face with a roll, she was ashamed to have confessed the growing feeling to her husband. He had explained everything to Shakilla about what he had been feeling to Azhar. Azhar was so perfect in Sarah's eyes that Sarah tried to be and look good in front of Azhar so that her husband did not look down on her. Although Sarah must suppress her true nature.

Sarah looked at her phone, not usually Azhar like this. Usually her husband would send her a short message every few hours, Azhar also sometimes returned to the apartment at lunchtime. Their last week's routine was in Singapore.

Sarah felt something was wrong with Azhar until the clock showed at 14:00 WIB Azhar also had not contacted her, there is something less that makes Sarah nervous and want to feel like contacting Azhar first but she is still embarrassed and prestige.

When he was filled with loneliness due to being completely unemployed in this country, he was determined to dial Azhar number. Three times dialing her husband's number turned out not to be lifted up until then the apartment bell rang.

Azhar ordered him lunch.

Sarah frowned in wonder, what is this? Not as usual. Why Azhar did not come home at lunchtime and did not contact Sarah first, let alone ordering food for Sarah.

This woman also received the food package lethargic, uninspired. Sarah even ignores her lunch and is more confused about Azhar's oddity that makes her feel awkward.

Sarah again broke down her shame and ego to contact her husband first, but several times contacted not also welcomed. Azhar's phone is active, but why? Sarah became anxious to the point of having no taste to fill her stomach. All right, he'll wait for Azhar to come home and ask for an explanation first. That's thinking.

A few hours later, Sarah felt a little dizzy because she had not eaten from lunch, but the morning was only breakfast with a sandwich menu only. Sarah glanced at the wall clock that showed at five in the afternoon, usually Azhar will remember the prayer but today it is not.

Sarah, who was a little weak and not excited, also strengthened to continue to pray. Although he did not like to be restrained and regulated, somehow Azhar's advice continued to ring in his eyes especially in prayer hours.

Afterwards, Sarah waited for her husband to come home.

***

After performing prayers at the mosque near his office, Azhar did not run his car. He stared at the old cell phone that he had deliberately ignored earlier.

She avoids Sarah because she is upset with her own feelings when she learns that Sarah is still carrying Faris rather than her own husband. Moreover, Sarah hated it and did not like the nature of Azhar who often set-up and even advised him the problem of worship or dress habits.

Well, if Sarah doesn't like what she's been doing for the past week then Azhar won't push anymore. For this reason Azhar did not contact Sarah as usual.

He was tired of the word love he said to Sarah since Ijab kabul he hummed, but Sarah never chimed in a bit of his feelings. Azhar had allowed Sarah to know all about him.

“Yes Allah, help the servant bring this feeling so as not to hurt the servant nor Sarah. Servant loves her very much but I am aware that it does not taste for servant at this time.” Inner Azhar.

He also opened his phone, lying if he did not worry about his wife, let alone they just live alone in this place.

When the phone was wiped, several calls from Sarah and dozens of messages filled her phone. Azhar is happy if Sarah wants to contact him first let alone send attention sentences like this. However, Azhar was again lethargic when remembering Sarah's conversation earlier. Azhar immediately runs her car with a feeling of disappointment that is still patched in the chest.

Arriving at the apartment, he saw room after room that looked dark, nothing was visible until Azhar turned on the light in the room.

Not seeing the whereabouts of Sarah, Azhar again stepped up to arrive at the lounge located next to the living room. Sarah fell asleep on the couch with her body curled up. There was a side of Azhar's heart that hurt to see it so. Azhar approached and crouched down in front of his wife.

Hearing faintly ringing from Sarah, Azhar frowned in surprise and her irises found a package of food that was still intact in plastic and untouched.

“Does Sarah order her own food for dinner?” think Azhar.

Azhar also tucked Sarah's hair that covered the face into her earpiece until a grimacing expression on his wife's face.

“Sarah, Sarah. Oi. Wake up!” Azhar gently shook Sarah's arm but there was no reaction.

Azhar repeatedly did so until when Azhar lifted Sarah's body and was about to take her to the room, Sarah finally opened her eyes.

“Azhar.” said.

Azhar looked at her worriedly until she walked quickly and placed Sarah in their bed gently.

“Azhar...” reset Sarah again like a delirious person.”

“You haven't eaten?” ask Azhar full of worries.

Sarah shook her head weakly then when Azhar wanted to move on, Sarah held her back.

“What? Why haven't you eaten yet! You don't know I'm worried! Why are you torturing your own body!” azhar's involuntary snarl had raised her voice.

Sarah who had never heard Azhar make a high voice or yell at her became shocked until unexpectedly her eyes heated up.

Azhar was silent, she felt guilty when she saw tears streaming down Sarah's face. He had frightened his wife by the impact, but Azhar was so worried that she unconsciously raised her voice.

“Arggg..”  Azhar puffed up while rubbing her face rough.

This man continued his steps after removing Sarah's grip from his shirt.

Sarah stared at Azhar's pity on the back away from her. He was sobbing even more, for some reason he could be this crybaby now. He just doesn't usually accept Azhar's slightly different attitude.

As he wanted to turn his body to turn his back on the room door, a hand held him back.

“I'm just worried about you. You haven't eaten gini, I'm afraid you're sick and you're okay. Sorry to accidentally raise your voice.” said Azhar regretfully while carrying the food she brought.

Sarah remains keukeh twisting her body because currently her irritation is very controlling of her. Moreover, thinking that he only had Azhar in this place, how could Azhar snap at him and bahar him.

“Sarah, why are you so angry? I'm the one who should be mad to see my wife hasn't eaten since noon. Why are you so?” azhar tried to twist his wife's body.

Sarah remained with her position, until Azhar clucked resentfully and ignored her bad taste. He hugged his wife from behind. Put her body on their bed.

Dep

“I'm worried about you, you understand?” azhar whispered right in the eyes of Sarah's listener.

Sarah stiffened with their position this intimate, although they did try to share the bed but Sarah was shocked when Azhar's hands tightened. Even the face of the man behind him was scratched by his neck. Feels ticklish.

“Sorry, I just want to hug my wife. Can't I?” azhar said again.

Sarah gently bit her lower lip, she shook her head until she slowly twisted her body. His puffy face is now right in front of Azhar's face, he found a handsome face that now looks so worried. Honestly, Sarah was getting more moved.

“Azhar, I-I'm waiting for you to come home, I'm also waiting for a message from you but never came to my phone all day. I tried to call you and it didn't respond either. I wonder what I got wrong until you ignore me like that? Do you know, I just have you here? Don't you want to turn this place into a beautiful place for me to pass by? And all that I get when I'm with you. Butwhat? You even made“

Cup

Deg

Azhar landed her lips on a chewy object belonging to his wife that slightly quivered when making a sound. He could no longer hear the lines Sarah spoke. He was wrong, Azhar admitted that. Deliberately not contacting Sarah, deliberately ignoring Sarah, deliberately not eating lunch together until deliberately overtime, Azhar did all that because of her disappointment in Sarah.

However, seeing his wife's situation like this and even waiting for him to come home to ignore his food, he became unbearable. No matter how disappointed he was with Sarah, he still had to make Sarah happy as promised and that was his main task.

Sarah widened her eyes as her lips were tainted by the warmth of her husband. He was silent, not knowing what to do after this. She looks stiff over her husband's sweet treatment. As much as Sarah loved Faris, she never allowed Faris to touch her except holding hands and hugging.

However, this is Azhar. The man who has full rights over Sarah so clearly carves a heartbeat in the chest. This intimacy seems to present thousands of butterflies in the chest and it feels like there is a ripple that wants to explode instantly.

Azhar just stick it, but the duration is very long as it shows how valuable Sarah is to him. The thunder in the chest of the two collided with each other and sometimes even in rhythm. This is the first time since the day of their kabul.

Slowly, Azhar opened her eyes and stuck her forehead with Sarah. Their breaths clashed in haste while staring. Sarah's face warmed up unplanned.

Azhar wiped a tear on his wife's cheek gently, “sorry, sorry, I'm sorry. I have ignored you today. But, just so you know, I was just disappointed and tried to eliminate my disappointment first until when I looked at you, my disappointment was gone no longer. However, I was wrong.  I'm the one who made you ket-“

Sarah covered her husband's lips with her right hand while shaking her head, “there are still many confessions I want to hear from you. Especially your disappointment with me. And yet"

"However?" cut Azhar in dismay while looking at his wife's reddened face this close.

"However, I'm hungry. Mellownya later let's continue, yes, let's eat. But, you have to bribe me as a redemptive mistake today.” said Sarah ended a bit of a ketus tone then released her husband's arm from her waist.

He tried to stand up from the bed until he left Azhar pensive.

Azhar smiled at Sarah, who was now avoiding her gaze, trying to hide her reddish face from her husband. Very amusing.

Sarah began to show her true nature even though it still looked so stiff. Think Azhar.

This man also followed Sarah who now carries an untouched lunch menu and food that Azhar just brought.

Azhar's disappointment today can be overcome simply by looking at Sarah's and-'s face

Azhar touched her lips, soft and sweet. Mumbled.

Azhar did not think she could act this fast, but she did not regret it because Sarah did not reject it. It's a good start and hopefully tomorrow will get better without anyone disappointing each other. Although slow, but he will try to make Sarah accustomed to his existence.

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Kerinci, 30/09/2019