My Father Misses
Hate But Miss

Time seems so fast passing, days change days and months change and soon the National Final Examination (UAN) will be held.

But we haven't heard from Atan.

Everything related to him was gone, disappearing in time. Whether it's his social media or his contact number. Atan is completely lost as in the swallow of the earth.

I tried to find out his whereabouts but my efforts were in vain.

In my heart, I cursed and cursed him. If I had met him I'd very much have slapped him.

This heart still hurts. The wound he had inflicted for disappearing so easily and without news was still so scarred, but there was still a speck of longing for him in my heart.

I miss him and hate him.

I reopened the HP gallery, looking at our portrait. The happiness was clear on my face and Atan. My lips raised a smile when I saw our portrait.

Love that began to bloom is now falling because of the pain of staying away.

"Why is there no farewell? Wh why?

The anger and hate are back. I slammed my phone next to my bed, waking up Mom who was fast asleep.

Mom approached me.

"What's Lila?"

"I'm sorry Lila, Mom. I'm sorry I woke you up."

"What's up, baby? You can tell me the same thing about Mom."

"Lila is upset with Atan, Atan has not told Lila for a long time. Lila hates Atan, Mom."

My crying broke.

I cried - and I hugged Mom.

"Mom rubbed my hair, I'm sorry baby. All this time I haven't told you. Atan once came to say goodbye, only I dare not tell you. I don't want you to be sad. Sorry Mom!"

Mother continued to gently rub my hair.

"I'm sorry, baby."

I nodded and my tears still continued to wet my cheeks.

My mother wiped away my tears that kept flowing.

"Remove your tears."

I went and picked up a pink blue box.

"It's from Atan," Mother gave me the blue pink box.

"What is this, Mom?"

"Mom doesn't know what it is, I've never opened it. It's yours, so you're the one who has the right to open it."

I took the box and opened it.

My tears welled up again, looking at the contents in that blue-pink box.

Portrait of Atan revealing his heart to me.

Behind the portrait is a piece of paper that expresses Atan's parting.

Dear Lila, please,

I'm sorry I couldn't tell you directly, because I couldn't bear to see you sad. I don't want your smile to disappear because of my passing. Pardon me! I'm sorry I couldn't say goodbye to you. Pardon me! I had to leave because my father opened his business out of town so I had to join my family. I promise I'll call you when I get there, just be the Lila I know and I'll take you to be my wife someday."

"Liar! You liar."

"Rest, don't be so sad."

He went back to his room to rest.

I took a deep breath and looked at our portrait again.

"Liar!" Ogre me.

It was getting late and the weather was not friendly. It was as if the weather was sad as my heart. The cold that pierced me forced me to take a thick blanket. I covered my whole body not forgetting that my head was covered.

My heart is still wounded, angry, and resentful of Atan, but slightly healed.

I hate you but love you at the same time.

I also fell into my subconscious. Entering into a beautiful dream with Atan.

In my sleep, I smiled happily.

It was morning, my phone alarm rang woke me from my dream.

I opened the curtains of my room, letting the sunlight in shine through my room.

Today the sky is clear, it makes me excited.

I went straight to the bathroom and enjoyed the cold water. I wet my whole body. The water felt so refreshing even though the cold was so bone-chilling.

After enjoying the cold of the water, I dried my body and put on my spooky. Dress up and straighten my hair.

I headed to the dining room and picked up some food to eat. Enjoy the cuisine that has been served by the mother.

"Lila, how's the meal relaxing?" Dad came up to me and took a chair and sat down next to me.

"It's not too late?" Continue Dad.

"Yet, Dad."

"Where's Mom?"

"In the kitchen."

Dad frowned, confused to see my changed attitude.

"Is there a problem?"

"Nothing, Dad."

"Times?"

I looked at dad.

"Yes Dad, Lila doesn't have a problem."

Once again I glanced at my lucky hours.

I immediately finished my breakfast and sipped a glass of water.

"Lila pamit."

I kissed Dad's shoulder and Dad just stared at my departure with his waist.

I headed to the kitchen to say goodbye and kiss the back of my hand.

"Lila said yes, Mom."

"Dear, heart - heart on the way."

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

"Mom, what's the matter with Lila?"

"Why is that, Dad?"

"Finally Lila lost her cheer."

"Regular Well, young people's problems."

"Ohhhh, so did ma'am. Deserve Lila's grim rich glass that's never in the lab."

"Dad, there is - there is."

I walked towards the school with my head down.

"Weh, how the road is like that" said Vita surprised me.

"Just be lazy."

"You have to rise up, Dong Lila, because Atan you lost all your passions."

"Hmmm, there's no need to talk about a liar man."

"Now that's it."

"I'm lazy, Vita."

I walked leaving Vita behind me.

"Wait for dong Lila."

Vita's after me.

"Hay Lila," said Aby.

"Hey." Answer me drown.

"Tock your face like clothes that have not been ironed anyway," continued Aby.

"Ssssttt," Vita coded Aby not to proceed with my question.

"What the hell is it?" Whisper Aby.

"The problem of the heart" replied Vita.

I kept going without waiting for Aby and Vita.

At Home

"Mom, have you given me the box that Atan tipped?"

"Here Dad, I gave it to Lila last night."

"Oh Mother, why was it given to Lila? The reason that Lila is sadder."

I can only take a long breath.

"Dad so remember the same Atan. Atan is a good boy, he can take care of Lila. I'm gonna pray to God that Atan be Lila's mate."

"Dad, Lila's still in High School. How do you think soul mate - soul mate all for Lila anyway."

"And Later, Mom. Not now." He turned his lips and smiled.

The School

All my best friends and my classmates thought I was very strange, especially today. My attitude makes them wonder what really happened to me.