MY HEART HAS DIJLEB-JLEBIN YOU
EXPLODED

" … Greetings to Mr. Denar, yes Ma'am. Then we'll pay."

"Thank you, Mom. Thank you very much." Nia's timpal told Vina.

Marina did not respond to Nia Vina even with just a lazy nod or a pleasant smile, and instead closed the door of Denar's apartment violently.

BRACKET

"Don't cry here, He. In the elevator aja ayok," whispered Vina while holding Nia with half-run steps. "Hold, His, hold."

But when Nia and Vina were about to get into the elevator that had just opened, the two met Denar. Denar looked like he was in a hurry, his breathing was irregular, his sweat was pouring everywhere. Then without being asked by Nia and Vina, Denar suddenly explained his reason for not being able to reply to a message to answer Nia's call. Denar's phone was left in the apartment when he took care of his car which had problems with the insurance in the apartment parking lot.

" … Sodara I ngabarin me if you nelfon, Dek. Oh yeah, you have my other hp number?"

Nia wiped her tears quickly. "Son't he an orphan?"

"Oh. Ja. He means junior who already sakil angep kaya sodara Kakar. He's staying in my sister's apartment. Many other junior brothers who often nginep as well." Denar looked at Vina. "But when are you going home?"

"Oh, yes, sir. If you come home later afraid the train is full." Vina smiled forcefully.

"Why don't you want to have lunch first? I pesenin rib sop yesterday huh? You want it, Dek?"

Nia shakes. "Tomorrow, Brother. We've eaten all the way here."

"It's brother Anterin coming home, isn't it?"

"No, sir, no need. Take the train more seriously," said Vina.

"Yaudah I anter until the station. Yes, Deck? Please don't be rejected la–"

Denar's next utterance paused, as Nia suddenly looked at him with tears in her eyes. Denar's heart felt like it had been pierced by dozens of daggers, because Nia's tears reminded him of their cruel past. No matter if the tears fell on the cheeks of adult Nia, in Denar's eyes, Nia was still a little girl with a ponytail who liked chocolate milk. Denar pecked, defeated by Nia's tears that made the plunge in Denar's heart deeper.

"Why is Big Brother willing to do me that for me who is not even who is Brother?"

Denar gently touched both of Nia's shoulders. "Dutch, danger. Ka–"

Nia brushed off Denar's touch. "Why is Brother selling himself only for me who is not his brother? Why do you sacrifice your future for me who is not si–"

"Sir, you are a precious person to Brother," Denar cut off. "You're everything to Brother. Don't be yourself, brother. Brother is even willing to give more than that."

"How can I pay for everything my brother has given me?"

Denar. "Enough with you happy, Dek."

"I am a happy doang? Continue Brother? Sister miserable same girl? The girl you don't like at all?"

Denar smiled again. "It's okay. Time can change anything including humans."

Nia did not respond, just throwing her face away hoping that the elevator could reach her destination floor soon.

"Serious brother. What matters is that you're happy, Deck."

"I'm not wrong if you think I'll be happy after knowing everything" replied Nia finally. "This is not a debt of gratitude or a debt of life. But future debt."

TING

...•▪•▪•▪•▪•...

Nia looked glum. Not because he remembered his quarrel with Denar four days ago but because his childhood dreams came to terrorize almost every night. The dream felt very real. Nia really felt like pain when being grabbed, hit with a rice barrel, kicked with Nila heels. Then the most noticeable was, the sticky, unpleasant-scented stale rice that passed through Nia's esophagus for many years.

"Him, nih."

Spontaneous Nia turned to Vina who had returned from waiting in line for the ice cut.

"Cock isn't chocolate?"

"Emang. Sometimes cobain other flavors also dong, His. Throw away the taste of chocolate if it only makes your mood randomadut," added Vina.

Nia only received a piece of vanilla flavored ice with a topping of nata de coco from Vina. Nia pervaded what her fellow friend had just said. Yeah, there's a point. It is only natural to leave whatever it is that only makes the mood worse. Nia felt a little amused, and tasted the ice with the characteristic skewer. On the way home, a luxury motorcycle suddenly intercepts Nia and Vina. Again Zaim, super handsome ojol limited edition!

"I think the application ojol I error, it turns out my customer does not bother me," said Zaim while opening the glass helmet.

Vina reflexes prancing. "Ih omg-omg is a terrible danger to the heart of girls omg."

"That's true. If there's a girl who's crazy rich in hot worms, it's definitely her. No shame in shit." Ikbal parked his bike next to Vina. "Oit, Brother Zaim."

"Bale." Zaim replies to Ikbal's invitation for high five*. "Why has she been getting remastered lately?"

*Celebrating something where both people raise their hands and bang them. In short, the high five is to do tos.

"Or. Kunti kunti kambutan kali house, sis." Ikbal pointed at Vina. "But it should be her trance. Demit likes to get together the same way."

"Yes yes. Ledekin aja daku as you like Pithecanthropus Erectus. My ice cut is far more important than yours sorry."

Zaim laughed, even though Nia was not as smart as usual.

"To the top of yuk? Burn the yam corn?"

"Go on, brother." Ikbal started his motor engine excitedly. "Aren't you?"

"Come on. Where is there a girl who will refuse if she is a Zaim Alfarezi."

Zaim laughed again. "Yuk." Zaim extended his hand to Nia.

Nia simply nodded while welcoming Zaim's helping hand. Along the way Nia just stay still and just pounced like a backpack. Somehow Nia continued to remember her dream even though it was a dream that could potentially disturb her traumas that were asleep. Nia was nostalgic while enjoying the coolness of the tea garden. Nia recalled hiding a rice barrel in the hope that Nila would not hit her. But instead of walking as expected, Nila instead turned to hit Nia with a mosquito racket.

Denar who knew of the foreign wounds on Nia's body went straight to the pharmacy and bought an ointment. Denar smeared the ointment on Nia's extremely thin body. Then Nia also remembered when Denar fed Nia nasi warteg without caring about her stomach which continued to sound. And what Nia can't forget, when Denar picks up Nia from Ferdi's residence, the lonely widower, in a taxi. But in the end Nia and Denar had to go down in the middle of the road because Denar money was not enough to pay the taxi fare.

HIKS HIKS HIKS

"Darling, are you okay?" zaim asked Nia while opening his helmet glass.

HIKS HIKS HIKS

Because there was no answer from Nia, Zaim also pulled off his motorcycle in one of the SPBU, followed by Ikbal. But no matter how hard Zaim tried to calm Nia down, Nia's cry became even more. Vina jumped off Ikbal's motorcycle and ran to hug Nia. Zaim was in shock because it was his first time seeing Nia cry so hysterically. Seen from the look on Ikbal's face that was no less shock, Ikbal clearly did not know. Unlike Vina who even looked calm.

"Vin, you know that, right? Cepet tell me, Nia what's the matter?"

Vina simply nodded in response to Zaim, without stopping her gentle swipe from Nia's back.