Not the First
Bintaro Hati

The study mothers of the taklim assembly had gathered, the thanks of the second grandson of Abdul Malik's family went according to plan.

Witha's husband also took the time to go home because of this aqiqah thanks his son. Although late because of the morning there is an operating schedule, but he can leave according to the flight schedule that has been ordered two days earlier.

All guests praised Rey who appeared beautiful that afternoon with her white Muslim dress. He helps Oma keep the dining table.

"Wibie's wife is very beautiful" said Ms. RT who was filling a small bowl she placed on a plate with a warm goat's gule.

"Thank you, I can" said Rey a little embarrassed because almost everyone said that to her

The Dhiza beside Rey was silent. Ever since he accompanied Rey to the dinner table, not a word came out of her mouth. He only smiled and occasionally answered the questions of the mothers who asked him.

"Dhiza, you've never been seen. How areya? Why isn't the house occupied by itself?" bu RT asked Dhiza when the middle-aged woman stood in front of Dhiza.

"Thank God, Miss RT. The house is under contract for five years. There's half a year left. I just returned to Jakarta a few months ago, too,"

"Where do you live now?" ask RT again.

"Near the office. I sniffed there. God willing I want to occupy the house again if the contract abis,"

"Yes. It's better that way. By the way, you have a baby yet?"

Rey who heard their talk put her ear on, she did not want to miss a word from their chat. Because the last Bu RT took rice, so he chose to enjoy the food in the dining room. He did not return to the living room but preferred to chat with Dhiza.

"I'm not married, Mom?" sahut Dhiza is a little slow.

"Don't be too picky, a beautiful and successful woman like you feels impossible if no one comes close,"

"Mother can, indeed the soul mate has not come to ma'am. How about it again,"

"Mother pray that you are spared by your husband and soon have a momongan like Witha. If the deceased eyangmu is still alive, he must have been confused to find you a mate. You don't change, you're always closed to other people,"

Dhiza just smiled faintly. What was said by Ms. RT is true, since childhood, Dhiza has always limited herself in making friends. The only days at Wibie's house and her playmates are only Witha and Wibie.

Rey took a deep breath. He became a little more understanding why Dhiza was so sharp and so stiff on him. In addition to his true nature, maybe he also has a heart with his little friend. One mystery question that Rey must seek the truth of her assumption.

Wibie emerges from the room and holds Devara, who appears to have just woken up from her sleep.

"Eh, pretty boy. Here Salim is with Grandma,"

Devara came down from her papa sling, approached Ms. RT, she grabbed the woman's hand that had been extended towards her.

Wibie did the same with her son.

"Wibie, try to find a mate for Dhiza. Let him have a friend. Kasian, now he's a kara in Jakarta,"

Wibie smiled at Ms. RT who is known to be quite unkempt but she is very caring with this family. After which he glanced towards Dhiza, the moment their gazes met. Dhiza immediately lowered her head.

Rey who had since noticed all the movements of Dhiza's movements by stealing glances caught on clearly when the panda of the woman's gaze was fixated on her husband before finally bowing because Wibie turned towards him.

"Maybe Dhiza already has a candidate, ma'am. After all these years we have just met. It was also because Devara was a school in place of the foundation led by Dhiza. A coincidence, finally the friendship that was cut off for so long is now reconnecting," explained Wibie.

"Well, why is that. So since Dhiza graduated from college and went home her mother never told her again,"

Wibie shrugged both of her shoulders and looked towards Dhiza who was still dropping her gaze towards the floor.

"Yes, neither I nor Witha can contact him anymore" Wibie explained.

******

"What are you guys talking about with Ms RT, why does Dhiza look so weird?" ask Oma to Wibie and Rey who are cleaning the living room.

"So Ms. RT took the time to figure out why she is not married and asked me to find a mate for Dhiza," replied Wibie.

"Oh, such a problem should not be discussed in public. Dhiza must have his own reasons why until now he chose himself. Kasian the kid, must he be so sad?"

"Wibie thinks so too Mom, so I just smile. The RT's mom's just not sensitive,"

"Here you go, I'll call Dhiza. He's a kara in Jakarta, Kasian,"

Wibie did not respond to mother's remarks, nor did Rey. The two of them continued their work, cleaning the red carpet that lay in the room from falling food. Oma left the two headed to the kitchen.

*****

Dhiza stopped his car, pulled over at a not-so-busy city park and drove off.

Her crying spilled out instantly as well. He could not contain the sadness that lingered in his heart.

Reenergized by Bu RT's words earlier, also Wibie's gaze filled with compassion on him.

"It turns out that the law of karma is real. What I did to Rey at school was paid in cash today, too" Dhiza said in her heart as she breathed so that her sobbing would not be so.

"What Kiran and Rey did to me. They can get Wibie's love may have been their feared provision. Why can't I move on from this unrequited feeling of love,"

The HP he placed on the side seat trembled. Dhiza looked for a moment at the burning thing.

Phone call from Witha. Dhiza let the phone call die by itself.

Dhiza leaned her body on the seat she was sitting on. Today he really felt alone.

Dhiza realized, their long togetherness is only interpreted as a true friendship by Wibie and a sense of kinship by his mother.

"I am the pure one, and I punish myself so cruelly" he said.

"I chose to leave, omitting Wibie's life after the man she had loved since Junior High preferred Kiran whom she had only known in college,"

"While their marriage was only for a moment, would Wibie have me as a surrogate if I had not lost my life?"

"The possibility exists, even if it is very small. Then why is my jealousy now so high when the snot girl managed to win Wibie's heart,"

"Yes Allah. Why am I being so stupid. Why is it that every decision I make is always a distance between me and her?"

"I love her so much. I want to live with him. What possible? If I had come earlier, would Wibie have asked me to be his wife?" Shouted Dhiza in heart.

His mind is so fucked up. Various questions raged in his mind. His cry had already subsided, yet his sobbing still implied such a gaping wound in his heart.

Long enough he remained silent, calming the heart from the immortality of his heart. Now the gaze looks straight ahead. The bintaro fruit hanging in front of him was enough to attract his attention.

The fruit on this bintaro tree contains a poison called ceberin, this poison is very dangerous because it can inhibit calcium ion channels in the heart muscle so that it can affect the heart rate in living things including humans. Because it is very dangerous and must be kept out of the reach of children especially if eaten can cause death.

"Is it possible that my life will have such a fate? My presence will only be toxic to the households of those I care about,"

"Pathetic,"

Dhiza hit the driver of her car with all her energy. He was eager to let go of his frustration.