REMEDIALLY
Is this how it feels?

After the conversation this afternoon until this afternoon, Ayumna spoke very little. At normal times, she was indeed not a chatty woman, but today it felt like the face water was dry almost without expression.

If given a choice, it feels like I'm better able to face debate than women's inner wars like this.

Deftly, Ayumna took out some ingredients from our kitchen refrigerator, it seemed like she was going to cook something for dinner.

From the doorway, I observed his slow movements in order. Some containers containing foodstuffs were placed on a marble-floored kitchen table.

Although not sure how I will work well, but I choose to approach and clutch his slender waist from behind. A few seconds without rejection, I put a lip on the niche of his neck. Warm, very familiar body scent and I like it.

“Shaka, I want to cook.”

“You're still mad about me?” whispered as softly as possible.

Ayuma just shook his head weakly. “You come with me, to Jakarta. Later after diklat we can directly honeymoon.”

Ayumna nodded again. “I Just want a special trip, from departure to return. Will it still be special if taken with work?”

“Iya.. Yes, Dear. Good. After this we plan to return as well as possible.” For whatever sake, I did not dare to anoint the word 'promise' on my sentence this time.

I was so scared to disappoint this woman again.

“You want to cook?” my many.

“Iya.” he replied, with a large knife, Ayumna split the cabbage into two parts.

“We had dinner outside, how? as a sign of my apology.”

“You are not wrong, why apologize all. If you are wrong, anyway. My sorry stock is still a lot for you.”

“Wah, is there any stock? I have to be frugal, just in case a big mistake can be accumulated, right?”

As if reading my nosy face, Ayumna extended her hand, her delicate fingers were very memorized looking for the part of my stomach to pinch, a small pinch but causing itching and pain that can cause trauma.

“You, yes..”

My wife's smile appeared again, greeting the drought of the soul since noon. Deciphering, translating the definition of happiness in this house.

“After magrib we go, yes,” my message.

***

By mutual agreement, we chose a downtown cafe for dinner. It didn't take long to make a deal with Ayumna, she was basically a very obedient girl, we were sitting on bench number seven right next to a wide glass window displaying the ripples of the highway, I take off my jacket and then attach it to the back of the chair.

“Eh, you didn't wear a white shirt, did you?” tanya who noticed the color change of my clothes.

“Iya, but because see you use black, so I change again.”

“Hem,” murmured.

“Soalya it's been a long time you've not used the dark color anymore, Ay. Why wear black tonight?”

“Once, would like aja.”

“Yes, it's okay, so we're compact. Here's a photo first.”

“But I don't like, ah. Tomorrow, if you want to wear a twin outfit, do not black,” protest.

I wanted to raise objections and protest because Ayumna was always looking for meaning in everything. Includes the meaning behind the color. But considering Ayumna's sorry there's stock, I'd better go out tonight. Than the sorry stock is getting thin.

 In addition to food, I also ordered a traditional cup of coffee, while my wife only ordered food with a glass of water.

“You don't like coffee huh, honey?” I like the part of figuring out the little things about Ayumna. There are things that I know by myself from the results of observation, some are through short interview methods as is happening at this time.

“Don't like bitter taste,” he replied.

"Hem, God's message is you're a sweet husband." Okay, my joke sounds really crisp.

"Fuck, um!"

“Keep, keep you don't like what else?”

In small talk wrapped in small questions, we were glued to each other, crochet longs and sip out the sweetness of the togetherness that was in session for us tonight.

“We're home, yuk. You haven't packed at all.” My wife reminded with a sweet smile, showing how deftly she stole my heart with just a single smile.

***

It had been almost two hours in silence on the bed, on one side. I turned my back on Ayumna when I thought she was asleep first.

My mind was suddenly swarming with unpleasant things. Does this feel like a husband who wants to leave his wife on duty first? As long as I was gone, Ayumna must have felt lonely.

But more than that, what I imagine is not just about the lonely Ayumna, I'm afraid she's angry that we're okay now, I'm worried about my attitude, I'm afraid, even though he said he had a thousand stocks sorry. I was so anxious to imagine she was unhappy in our marriage.

People say, the first days as a newlywed will be decorated frenetic celebration of love that blooms, but, already two months, I have not even been able to realize his simple wishes.

I occasionally glanced at his back, making sure Ayumna was already sound asleep. I wiped my forehead which had been soaked in cold sweat since.

I slowly shifted my body and made sure my movements did not make a sound, but not to mention the soles of my feet on the floor, my wife also realized.

“Where to?” tanyakanya.

There was no sign of a newly awakened person from sleep, her beautiful face was still as fresh as before. Or maybe he hasn't slept since?

“You take a drink, Darling.” Not so down, I sat down next to Ayumna, wiping the hair that covered part of her forehead.

“Ay, you have a fever. Your body is hot once.”

“Pusing,” complaint out of her little lips.

“Drinking medicine, huh? You have stock of medicine?”

Ayuma nodded “In my bag earlier.”

Without asking much, I looked for the handbag he had used. It is not difficult to directly find the medicine packaging in it. But after I saw, it turned out to be just the packaging of citrus-flavored fever relievers for children.

“Where is the cure, Ay?”

“Iya, that's what you hold, Shaka.”

“It's medicine for kids. Whose is it, why is it in your bag?”

Ayumna laughed as she explained to me that since childhood she was unable to swallow bitter tastes including medicines. The worst effect he will vomit violently and get dizzy. It's a little weird, but I'm laughing along while helping him grind the orange tablet.

“I remember something,” he said in my arms after a dramatic procession of medicine minun, just like a boy.

“What?”

“When I am remedial, you also often ngelekin me because of taking this medicine,” he said while pinching small pinches of my chest.

“Do not pinch, Ay. Later I want nyubit also.”

“You...” protest.

“Iya, continue... continue, what else is the remedial story?”

“That time I was really good with you. You are so annoying to know! But you remain patient, we take a walk to many beautiful places.”

“Just a walk?”

"Yes." Yeah."

"No kissing for example? yeah, I didn't feel happy?" I'm not sure about myself.

“Yes you are not this perverted at that time ih!” this time the pinch turned to my arm.

“Sick, Ayumna... ouch!” I pretended to grimace.

“Let's deh!”

“You can't sleep? What is the fever like. This head of yours, must be a lot of noise. Share, Honey. You can't keep everything yourself.” I held Ayumna's head with both hands while gently blushing.

“Not there, really. Really.”

“Yaudah if you can't sleep try the story again here.”

Ayumna slid her head against my chest, I rubbed gently as she untangled the story. For some reason, I really like the character Shaka in the Remedial story. I want to thank him for creating so many good and sweet memories. Oh well, I have to thank myself.

The intonation and volume are getting slower, slower and lost in drowsiness and soundness until finally quiet.

Slowly I put his head back on the pillow, I covered him with my arms and body. Our fingers are linked. The night is long, right? Fajr is still quite far away, there is still plenty of time to hold each other.