Sticks And Spells For A Princess' Love
hospital in the hospital 1

I was sleeping in the ICU room listening to murotal. I didn't even realize, every time in the hospital there was a prayer together.

"We begin with the prayer of Al-fatihah, for the healing of Rita." An ustadz raised his hand and prayed.

Many guests came to pray for my recovery. When Al-Fatiha's prayer ended, Ustadz told him to read the letter of the chair. I felt calm, but there was sadness at always being in the hospital. This is the pleasure of life there is difficulty and happiness. The prayer went on for a long time, then continued to read the letter of Al-Ikhlas. The prayer I heard from my mothers was so sweet and quiet. Seeing a study mother in a dress shirt, like in heaven. It wasn't expected to rain, and that meant I could go to the park who knew someone was asking me.

Guilt runs through the recesses of my heart. Makes my husband sad because my surgery was delayed because my blood pressure was too low. I thought of a way to make Audrey less depressed and anxious.

"Is every day a common prayer, if anyone is in the ICU?" ask me politely. "Can I ask you a favor, every Friday please go to my foster father's room in a VVIP room special neurologic?"

The rest of the morning was calm and peaceful. It is hard to believe that today is a very quiet day without any thoughts. Perhaps this favors the eighth God by providing a calm atmosphere in the hospital. I even still want to continue listening to the chants of the Holy Verses read by the study mothers.

So I can't wait for road therapy again because I feel better. I want to talk to the patients to comfort them and see my sick father, I want to pray for the health of my biological father so that he will be healthy quickly. Or any time I can compress it, even though my hands are still stiff.

"I think you have a lot of Istighfar to get well quickly" Ustadz commented as I slept lying in the ICU, I nodded and thanked the religious teacher who came in the ICUKU room. How calm this heart can hear the recitation even though my hands and feet are difficult to move.

This disease is stressful for me, so a few hours I died because of enduring pain. The atmosphere in the ICU that usually makes me critical is now like in a paradise full of Al_QUR'AN readings, if only this heart is still strong for activities I will definitely sit and teach even though it looks pale. In a special hospital with this internal disease, there were a lot of patients who were comatose and critical to the point of putting me under pressure in the hospital and almost every night the temperature rose and left me with terrible epilepsy. Now it is quieter, thanks to the prayers of the study mothers. Every time I finished my studies, Ustad gave me zam-zam water and Ajwa dates for juice. The worshipers took turns shaking hands and then shaking hands with me. Here I felt a sense of concern between the study mothers and myself.

"Cheal fast, Miss Rita," said one man dressed in light green.The happiness I felt made me look calm. Ten women lined up with my stiff hands. Well, because of a neurological disease I've had mild paralysis. When can I attend a mother's study? When can I help my foster mother? I shook hands with the mothers in line to shake hands.I asked the nurse whether the congregation and teacher had been told to recite a prayer in the next room. In response, the nurse nodded and had already notified my foster father and biological room.

"Whether Miss wants to take part in the study in the next room, I can take the lady, "she said, helping me sit and shake hands. "Miss' body is still weak, it's best to rest." My chest hurts even more because it hasn't healed a hundred percent. My hands don't stop shaking. I shook hands with the mothers who were still in line.

I moved my eyes to type on the laptop, as my memory began to wane. When I shake hands, I have difficulty breathing.

"Bu Rita is okay?" ask the girl in brown dress.

"I'm okay, this used to happen for just a little while. Don't worry about me. Thanks for the visit and the prayer." I can finally talk on my laptop. I want to be healthy like any other woman, I don't want to be a burden.

"Well, it's better yet" my husband's voice sounded outside. He opened the door and shook hands not to touch the hands of the women except Ustad. "If mamah wants to take part in the study, then let papa who talks with the sisters. So if you're in pain, papa will give you medicine."

"Mama wants to join me and my real father Yudi." This disease is strange, when the age of six my adoptive mother told me, at first I was short of breath, restless, daydreaming, suddenly the convulsions could not stop. My foster mother said I was unconscious for five days. And the nurse who took care of me when I was in the hospital said every day I was recited a prayer and this has been a long time of recitation. Maybe I forgot because I like being sick.

"Gee, the doctor is very loyal to his wife" said a mother who wanted to shake hands with me. The mother's voice made my daydream disappear instantly.

"No ma'am, it's my responsibility as a husband. We have to complement each other."

I was holding back the nausea that made me want to vomit. I shook hands with the next mothers and until the final sequence, then Audrey put me in a wheelchair. As soon as we followed the group of mothers, I was fixed on the room to my right. There was a woman, her body convulsing, unresponsive, her chest rising and falling hard to breathe. That woman's belly is big, could it be a woman I saw last week.

his head and eyes were fixed upwards, I looked outside the room just to make my legs suddenly jerk and my chest hurt. Pitying the woman, she also experienced respiratory failure to the point that she had to open her mouth to breathe. Every second I saw the woman shut her mouth from exhaustion. And every second he opened his mouth because he had difficulty breathing.

"His name is Ms. Arina, she has heart failure and brain pain. The disease is stage four now and the hospital lacks the blood the mother needs. Mother's blood is rare. Rita still remembers, when she checked yesterday. He's also part of the organization just like you. She had no children because every time she gave birth she was critical, when her baby was delivered prematurely her baby also had respiratory failure and died. So she adopted a child, but at her age now the disease suffered a lot and her life on the edge of her husband's horn is only a part-time worker."

"Breasure Time?"

"Yes, he works when he needs it, because half his life is for his disabled wife."

"I feel concerned. I'm exactly in his position. I don't know my rice forward as much as that woman or not."

"Well, let's go to your real father's room on the left. There is still a lot to be found by the study community. Let's talk about that tomorrow."

At that time I saw the woman convulsing, and her mouth was foaming. When I walked into my father's room after seeing a patient whose illness was the same as mine, Audrey took me to a very heartbreaking room.

"Rita, your father was critical when he met you. He said he missed you because he hadn't seen you in a long time. When he left the room he had a respiratory failure. Because of the mucus choking. His heart and lungs are critical."

It felt so sad and my chest hurt more and more to see my father's thin chest and up and down when the pip was so loud, because my father's disease had no cure, no cure, her thin and pale body in pairs of medical devices, I was increasingly unable to hold back my tremor-strewn legs.

"Maybe he needs me next to him. I'll recite a prayer for my father." I hugged the aunt with this pale body. Highlighting aunty's eyes always makes me calm and forget about sadness. She was wearing a sakura dress and pink, her pantofel shoes. All of this shows how religious my aunt is. A woman who makes her husband very loving because he is friendly, polite, and affectionate. "MM, better get some rest. Pray for me to be well."

I felt aunty's gaze so anxious when dad was convulsing. Upon my arrival beside the father who was lying limp and convulsing, the chanting of the chair verse recited by the mothers I followed him and read it near his ears. Audrey recited the chair verse. Poor father was dumped by mother and now has to face chronic illness alone without a life companion.

"Rita, are you okay?" Audrey ran towards me and released the Qur'an in my hand.

I took a slow breath. I carefully sat down while resting. Hard to believe, both my legs and my hands were trembling.

Shaking or moving involuntarily, ranging from mild to severe, and generally occurs on the hands, feet, face, head, or vocal cords. Tremors can be caused by things outside of the disease. Examples include extreme muscle fatigue due to exercise or medication side effects.

my condition suddenly weakened when my father was critical and vomiting. I was worried that my illness was like my father's, too, and made me thin as I went through my household.

He seemed very attentive to my father and me.

"I was just trembling, at best healed," I was finally able to calm myself down and say it word for word.

"This father's condition is very concerning. Every night the blue code alarm went off and her body convulsed so much that her heart was working hard due to lack of oxygen" said the nurse, who put the medicine into the infusion.

"Astaghfirullah.." My husband was suddenly in shock and stopped being so serious. "Did he go into a coma yesterday before he met my wife?"

I try to control my emotions. My mind suddenly changed.

"The epileptic aura will come out, get an epilepsy drug." I closed my eyes and Audrey stabbed a syringe into my infusion. Eventually the aura disappeared.

"Rita you're okay, take a breath baby."

"Thank God, you're just having a little convulsion. Let's go back to the ICU."

"I... still.. want ... to meet .. my foster father."

"Well, I'll be here with you and ready to stand by if you need." He kissed my forehead.

I, Yudi's father and my biological father fought a neurological disease that put our lives at risk. Although I convulsed, had to be strong for the sake of the biological father who was still critical. Today is the battle against the deadly disease we are suffering from.

"I think your father will be sad when he sees you being sick, we just rest first."

"I beg you, let me expel my energy for the sake of my loved ones." I could feel Audrey so anxious to see me tremor all of a sudden.

"I'll give you a heavy dose, if you want to see your father. You should also stop for the baby tube program" she said, looking at the infusion of the biological father hanging on the pole.

I stood up and held the bed, with my exhausted state of strength in this weak body did not stop me from standing.

"Dad..dad has to get up. said aunt dad wants road therapy with me. Don't give up." I suddenly lost my balance and Audrey caught my body falling. He put me in a wheelchair. On the bed my father suddenly laughed and his body convulsed, the epilepsy made me feel like I was also seeing the same thing but only an aura appeared. And I could breathe a sigh of relief, but my father didn't stop the convulsions. Froth in the mouth of the father came out and made the father choke on saliva foam and had a heart attack. the study was finally delayed, we went out waiting for the doctor to finish electrocuting the chest of the father.

"Rita, we're back in your room. You're still weak." Audrey escorted me to the ICU, never seeing my father lying limp, tears streaming down his cheeks. I wiped the tears with my weak hands, my husband stopped and hugged me.

"Rita how do I assure you of my love and make you happy?"

He said like that maybe understanding my disturbing feelings and worrying about the deadly disease that took away my soul. I took a breath and calmed down.

"I'm weak and can't do anything? while you're a doctor, there's a lot of women looking for you."

"Look at me Rita. I've dyed my hair gray so you're healthy and not sad."

I thought of my biological father and adopted me, they always made me laugh and not feel any pain when I was critical.

"Rita, can auntie talk for a second?" My aunt showed up while I was hugging my husband.

"Auntie beg you not to make your body weaker. Here's your real father's message. It won't heal if it sees you sick either."

O Allah. Only my aunt worried about me overreacting, she thought of me as her biological child ever since my biological father found out I was alive and one hospital with her.

"Thank you aunt-I know you're still critical and I didn't do anything stupid for you." Of all my aunt's most attentive family last month aunty's beautiful Muslim dress bought me so I look cheerful. She took my adoptive mother to my husband's house to dress my pale face, now she feels sad and begs my father to be healthy.

My aunt cried as she held my hand, "Tante doesn't know what else to do? Your father's been convulsing every day to the point of being critical and now unconscious."

I can't do anything about my condition still recovering from this deadly disease.

I looked at her silver hair. She dyed my hair to make me excited to live. Then I held her face, with my limp hands.

"Why are you still not being honest with me about my illness?" I asked while looking at his face. "I think you should have told me about my condition, instead of keeping a secret about the illness I've suffered for twenty years."

"Your disease is not clear yesterday I asked with an expert doctor and they still have not found your disease" he said.

So I felt like Audrey was hiding something from me. I want to ask you about my condition that is getting worse. I wonder if he is still dishonest and loves to cry when my illness recurs, as I know my husband can't hold back tears when I'm on my date. Or the time I've made Audrey regret having married me who is disabled and likes sudden convulsions. Aunt sent a message that my father's condition was getting worse and his heart was critical, dad always convulsed when his chest hurt even had failed breath-Adoption mom also sent a message yesterday's foster father's condition is improving now his condition is deteriorating and not yet conscious. It's what I'm afraid of when suddenly my chest aches whether I can withstand the epilepsy that put me in a coma for up to a month.

The sadness began to depress me as I watched Audrey painstakingly massage my hands that could not stop shaking.

"Mas, the epileptic aura is coming again" I said as I looked up.

"Rita, you need to calm down and take a breath. Sister please give me epilepsy medication."

"Nice doc."

"I'm here baby, you gotta be strong baby. Oh my God, Rita's pulse is getting worse. Sus please get her heart medication."

I was suddenly in my husband's arms when I opened my eyes. "Thank God, you're sober, baby." The four medics are treating me. Was I critical earlier?

"Doctor Audrey from earlier cried seeing the lady unconscious with the body convulsing," said the nurse dressed in blue. "I tried to help Dr. Audrey put heart medication tablets and epilepsy in your mouth, the cure I've made puyer so easy."

I saw the watch in Audrey's hand showing it at eight o'clock that meant I was unconscious for a long time. I saw Audrey kissing my forehead and hugging me tightly, she was now smiling probably because from this morning after my father's intensive room my condition had shown symptoms of epilepsy. As soon as we met face to face Audrey smiled but I was even sad because it made her anxious. As my tears flowed, my husband rubbed my wet cheeks.

"I'm back in my room huh, doc." The nurse and the other medics came to the door and left us both.

"Thank you, for your help." I held Audrey's hand with my remaining energy. "Am I that horrible, ma'am?"

I felt guilty for making my husband anxious and cry. Upon arrival at the intensive room where I was treated, this morning I did not feel any aura appearing but when ten in the morning it was felt.

"You taste, your eyes blink incessantly and your hands are like holding onto something. I was afraid you wouldn't stop the convulsions, thankfully Steven said because you had a lot of thoughts so your heart and epilepsy were critical but not so severe." He got up from his seat and put down the lavender-scented water vapor. That's the therapeutic scent I like.

I could only see him because he was still limp and in chest pain. He was so attentive that he remembered my favorite therapeutic scent. It's hard to believe this handsome and kind-hearted man married to me who's disabled and can only lay in bed. I'm afraid I can't make her happy because of my epilepsy and my heart's breaking all of a sudden.

It doesn't seem like it used to be tangled in the face.

"I'm sorry, it makes you bother and sad." Only an apology can I say.

"I'm not as I always am because Steven has found a way to keep you from getting stiff when your epilepsy strikes. I was sad when you were convulsing and laughing like thinking about something that made me sad. I'll figure out a way to operate on your heart and head so you don't get this moody." His smile was like there was something strange about the explanation he was talking to me about. "I decided to find a way so that you can smile no longer sad, yesterday I had the task of checking the condition of the patient in the other room. The patient we have met had a coma because the tumor in his stomach made respiratory failure, convulsions until epilepsy relapsed and his heart was critical. Her husband was devastated that he could not help his wife hoping that the money could save her life."

I understand why yesterday my husband was still not excited, Audrey might as well feel the same way. Time passed too.

"Why are you so astonished, if I were like that woman one day. Don't make me sad because you're crying can't treat me. You know, right. I was born with a weak body I'd be ready if I got another illness," I could finally comfort Audrey and smile.

"I know you'd say that" he didn't notice what I was talking about.

"I think it's useless I give support for you to stay excited walking and cheerful as when young."

"Every time I'm epileptic, I'm like that woman with a big belly and pain. Then my stomach seemed to break because it was pierced by a needle and my chest was also in pain and my mind was dying. That's how I feel when epilepsy comes back, even when I'm sleeping I dream the same way as that woman. You know, baby. Every night I'm always convulsing and critical.The cause is strange dreams and I've felt like now." I can feel how depressed I think of things that don't make sense.

"I may not be able to work all day because I take care of you for a full day" he said, holding my trembling hand.

I swallowed spit.

He kissed my trembling hand. "You look tired, sleep tomorrow we therapy to make you strong during surgery.

"No" I said, but now my hand suddenly couldn't stop from tremoring. "What is it that makes you so excited now?"

"I've been told-I'm tired of having to advise you to cancel the pregnancy program and ask for a complete break, so I asked the professor so you can have surgery." He still kisses my hand, I feel something warm in my hand maybe his tears.

"Tired of my obsession with having children?" many confusions.

"Yes-give up and obey your will so as not to look moody. Now I'm going to do what you asked me to do as long as it doesn't put your life at risk and figure out a way to keep the pregnancy program going." He again shed tears as he explained, and his voice sounded serious.

"You cry again."

He smiled and wiped the tears with his finger.

"Don't worry I'm gonna make this heart beat and try different therapies to get surgery." Although I had to endure the pain to make my heart beat during a baby tube program or surgery.

"I'll hold your word, Rita."

"So, now do you want to accompany me to see the woman in the next room?"

"Yes obviously I am." she replied hesitantly and anxiously.

"You definitely don't want to take me to see dad or that woman in the next room, do you!" I answered the doubt that was on Audrey's face.

He closed his eyes and smiled and kissed me again. "I allow you to see your real father and the woman in the next room, but if you're in pain please call me. I don't want you to be critical anymore, remember your health is more important than your visit to the ICU room where your father was treated." Behind his affection, the warning was real.

"You often counseled me like that," I reminded him, trying to ignore my suddenly abnormal heart and hold back my aching chest.

"Yes, because Mom didn't listen to me. So I reminded you that mom shouldn't be sick. If you're smart, you'll understand what I'm talking about."

"I think your assessment of my achievements is pretty clear." My eyes narrowed.

He stroked my hand and smiled regretfully.

"So, as long as I'm..people who aren't smart, we'll continue the baby tube program?" I struggled to conclude this puzzling conversation with my brain that was starting to have a hard time thinking.

There's something that worries me when epilepsy strikes. I couldn't breathe and was numb after waking up from epilepsy, even now I'm slow to think and walk. There was something strange every time I stood up to be tired, trembling, and my heart beating irregularly made my chest hurt. I was even desperate for electrical therapy yesterday to be able to walk, if I was frustrated.

"Sounds that make sense."

I looked down at my feet trying to move, unsure of what to do. God, don't make me paralyzed like this.

In addition to heart disease and brain nerve damage, I also experienced a decrease in my memory and speech is less clear. Although my husband helped me to be able to walk strong for the smooth operation, but if there is still no result in vain.

"What do you think, Rita?" audrey asked as she dried the tears that were dripping down my cheeks.

after wiping my tears, he again checked my heart rate. Starting a careful work that will be handed over to his teacher and the sound of the rain falling makes me feel comfortable and then listening to the Quranic verse on my phone to train my emotions so that I can regulate my heartbeat when operation.

I didn't stop crying when Audrey moved my hand. Although I was able to withstand the epilepsy and deadly heart disease that had left me critical, I continued to think about when I could walk and eat at the diner with my husband, and cooking Audrey's favorite dishes and then she flattered me.

I kept thinking until I couldn't bear to cry. Could it be that I will continue in a wheelchair and my husband feeds the porridge. And when I have two girls I have a malignant tumor, O God please do not remind me of that dream. I'm afraid I can never walk again and just watch my son study in the ICU. Please strengthen me for surgery and forward the baby tube. The doctor said it was likely to walk fifty percent, because I had an injury to the inner head.

ten seconds after I daydreamed and thought as Audrey moved my still trembling hand-poorly, Epilepsy made me even weaker and it became hard to think even walking I had to crawl like a baby.

a month ago Audrey accompanied me on road therapy, I told her let me walk alone. Audrey cried when she saw me crawling to the iron that I used to hold for walking practice. Had had convulsions at that time, in the therapy room there was CCTV so I wanted to see how I walked without a walker, it was terrible a few hours later I convulsed and my mouth froze. I was taken to the ICU and fell into a coma for two days, which is what my husband told me.

"You want me to take you to the lady's room we met yesterday?" daydreams about the tragic thing disappeared as Audrey asked.

Clow Audrey

I can't bear to tell my wife, Yesterday I asked teacher njai because my wife was suffering from complications and disease ALS or deadly. Steven said age five Rika had been in his marrow surgery and marrow therapy to prevent paralysis. But the operation failed and made his heart and lungs angry stuttering.

Guru najai said do not make his faith weak because he has experienced a lot of suffering in his illness. His biological father and adoptive father also said, keep my son's illness a secret and I don't let my son like me. I looked into Rika's unfocused eyes. "I'm going to go into the ICU with you, so if you get sick or have any problems you can calm down."