Sya`Ir Bensyiana
Chapter Four
BENSYAN & JAYDIR
BENSHIANA: What should I do?
Bensyiana was in the bathroom. He sat in the chair facing the mirror, looking at his face. His hair was messy, his gaze was lethargic. The mirror was so small that it only showed its face. He seemed to suffer greatly, when in fact he did not suffer. Although he was happy, in fact he was very suffering, but suffered in a different context because he was happy to suffer and he felt more suffering when he was more happy. Sometimes he breathes the air as well as he should. He felt calm every time he saw his face in the mirror because he could tell that his face did look full of suffering. He stroked his hair slowly, combing it to make it more messy. She never cried and she never knew why she had to cry.
BENSYIANA: The more I'm right, the more I look wrong.
Bensyiana always blames herself except when she is justifying justification, when that happens, she may blame the blame. Sometimes people don't want to accept that, even though the person himself knows that Bensyiana is right. But for those who believe in perfection because they fear falling into it, they all work together to help each other survive. The thing Bensyiana hated the most was that they wanted to save her as well, who actually wanted to fall. Bensyiana hated their worries and affection for her, if they wanted to save her instead. Profit is a more appropriate word than worry and affection.
BENSHIANA: I willingly make hell in my head and put all of myself with my thoughts into it, burning it with my lust as punishment when I am wrong.
Bensyiana smiled, she raised her eyebrows, shook her nose and shook her head. He looked deeper into the mirror, continuously. He lifted his face up to stretch his neck.
My life looks luxurious when I feel pain myself. Bensyiana considered that those who fear hell are those who fear the truth. Bensyiana felt that her mind and mind had suffered enough, she was sure that she herself could torture her even more if she was wrong as punishment in this world. In fact, he thinks more, if God is wrong and he is right, but God defends those mistakes, he is willing to be put in hell with his thoughts and of course God's own thoughts, and he will be angry. Bensyiana was angry that she was burning with her thoughts and God-thoughts while God was not burning herself as Bensyiana was willing to burn herself by making hell in her head and putting herself with her thoughts into it, burn it with his lust as punishment if it is wrong.
'Your suffering is due, ' the male voice, of Sheloff-Sardujik Anfyn Jaj, Bensyiana's sister, 'by yourself.'
'Of course, sometimes I want to, ' the voice of a woman, from Bensyiana, sister of Sardujik, 'be a psychopath or a schizo at all.'
'I can only say that if it is better for you, it is better to go somewhere to study.'
'For what?'
'You always complain that the world is full of fools. Maybe if you learn, you can turn them around.'
'What do you mean, I went somewhere to study with fools so I became smart like them then I taught other fools to be smart like after I learned with that fool?'
'You have to think that somewhere there must be a place where there is someone smarter than you so you can learn a lot! I know you, and you are not stupid! You will grow faster when you are surrounded by people smarter than you so you are moved to rival them.'
'I always feel stupid if I'm alone, that's why I prefer to be alone.'
'You should know that the people in the village want to go to the city to make them smarter. People in the city want to go to the capital to make them smarter. People in one country want to go to another country to make them smarter. And now maybe people on this earth always want to go out of space so that more science can be obtained.'
'You should also not understand if a few people do not realize that in their head there is a world more than there is in this universe. I mean, I can close my eyes and go to a much nicer place than anything in the world. When I read books, people like you, or like you who always go outside to seek knowledge will read books to find information, unlike myself who is curious. I just want to know if I'm alone, or if someone in the past has left something in the book that I actually know what it is. I just love reading it because I don't feel alone. I can even go to those places even if my eyes are open.'
BENSHIANA: I don't care if I'm alone. I'm happy to be alone. I just hate being alone.
Bensyiana was still looking in the mirror. He looked deeper to better understand what was happening. He is sure that this will continue even though this he thinks has started. Whatever begins ends except this. He knows how to solve everything but it will make things worse. He was even more afraid that the thing he thought was aggravating, would actually improve but he was too embarrassed to do so. But his innermost thought that it would aggravate because everyone in this world would be vying to have it completely, one of them as his father did. Now he looked into his eyes deeply and looked very sad and bitter when he said something to himself.
BENSYIANA: I could have left all this behind, I would only have suffered more because of him. My suffering is based on the suffering of people. I want to stop thinking and make people happy so they stop suffering. I just wasn't willing to make hell in my head and put all of myself with my thoughts into it when I knew I was wrong. I'm willing to suffer for the truth and I hate being happy for the wrong. I just attach importance to my thinking. I used to know what to do and I've done half of it. There is one thing that can only be understood by myself, although I would be a proud person when I say that half of what I do is more than the perfection that people do in general. Someone told me that the truth doesn't always have to be said. It seems like it's true and I'm even more convinced that the truth doesn't have to be done because everyone hates it. Actually, when that guy told me about it, that the truth doesn't always have to be revealed, I was happy. I feel free. I felt depressed because I had too much truth to hold onto and now I feel more free from responsibility. I finally rejected that pleasant thought. There is a fortress in my mind that can distinguish truth and error covered in truth.
JAYDIR: I had a bad dream. I dream if you ask me what I dream the most and what bad things are imagined. You ask but I can't remember what I dreamed. I can't remember it but I feel it.
DEAD END STAGE
Blood flowed, as it should be, now gradually began to thin, the flow was calm. It tastes like groped meat. It felt like the meat was tranquilizing as the flow was tranquilizing, following each other. After a long time, the leg began to feel its weight. The leg feels lost, even though the load is still felt. After that leg, Jaydir just realized it turned out his body, fingers, arms, neck was gone . That awareness is what keeps him awake even though his eyelids have been layered limp. Now Jaydir realized the rest that his tongue still felt not lost. He relaxed the tongue until every second it felt weaker and fell deeper. Until the tongue is completely gone and clogs his breathing. His consciousness still made it difficult to sleep until he realized the rest. His breathing was felt and his lungs continued to expand and narrow. After he held his breath everything went so well that he could not breathe. He's always conscious, that's why he doesn't dream. Dream about Bensyiana, meet her. Look at his face and all his limbs. When someone has his face he will know that it is not. When someone has a limb he will know that it is not. Because he knows everything, every detail. When he touched his palm, a child did not know that one of the albino bears had died. The albino bear was the son of another bear. Living in a place filled with snow created from frozen sea water. No rain even that. Her mother did not care anymore because her son's body had been torn apart. His breath was gone from his lungs. His tongue had fallen in, it was gone. His eyelids did not cover his eyes because his own eyes were gone. Lost his neck, his arms, his fingers and his feet. But there is still a burden at all. The flesh, as if following the stream and the red, was as if instead of turning blue. The blood flow was calm. Calm down instead of stopping flowing. When a child knows, he is very happy. When his mother found out, he was very sad. The boy hugged the carcass as he should have been very happy and the mother hugged his heart as she should have been very sad. Everything was gone when his finger released a touch from his palm. When he touches, when he, when, he, touches, always feels each of the differences.
Jaydir is awake because he hasn't fallen asleep. He had already lost everything except what was inside his head. He began to count and hoped that every second, his mind would begin to disappear as he felt. He only realized that he could only let go of his thoughts and feelings instead of eliminating them. Because he himself does not know what.
One-Two-Three-Four-Five-Eman-7-Dela8an-Sem9-Se10-11-2
Jaydir has calculated all the numbers 1x, maybe that's why now each number is marked with the number 1 in front of him.
'If God 0 and Bensyiana are 1, then it is perfect. If 1 exists because of 0, the remaining 8 will fall and go unsequenced if there is no 1. 2 without one, he will fall and occupy the 1st position even though he is only 2 and so on. Although the numbers are the same, too much counting leads to new confidence–
3-4-5-6-7-8-9-20-101-21-22-23-24-25-26-27-28-9-30-1-32
–Having a lot of confidence is good if it does not stop when counting it. If that belief is the truth, if that count has not been limited even by God Himself, it is no worse than justifying one belief. I forget the first 0 when I count. I continued my count, finding every 0 that was next. Just realized that when there were many 0 that I had found. But it's not 0 without the first 0. All 0 is just a mistake that looks the same as the truth.'
ROUTINITAS.
Jaydir came back before sunrise, Mohamer who was reading the scriptures, asked, 'where did you sleep last night?'
'I was sleeping in my room, but when midnight suddenly I heard a concert so noisy that I woke up. That's why I go out and sleep anywhere that's quiet.'
'It used to hear music from your walkman to hear nothing, but it woke up just because of the noise of the dangdut concert that was not much.'
'Different from hearing what we want and what we don't want to hear.'
'Yes it's different.'
After coming out of Mohamer's room he came back to say because he wanted to straighten something out.
'Actually, while I was sleeping, I was still listening to my walkman, then suddenly I woke up. I didn't even know why I woke up until after I stopped my walkman, I realized that there was a very noisy dangdut concert. Then I woke up and made Fried Noodles because I was frustrated.'
After smiling at Jaydir who was before coming out, she followed Jaydir from behind to come to his room, in his room she said because she wanted to straighten something out.
'Actually there will be noise all day more than last night, what if I take it to the local library later in the afternoon?'
PUBLISH ROUTINITIES
There's a Healthy Road Motion this morning, even a marching band playing.
ROUTINITIES PEAKED
There's a Healthy Walking Motion this morning, even a fashion show wearing.
TWILIGHT ROUTINITIES & SUNSET ROUTINITIES
'More precisely that is less concerned about it, ' after Jaydir just realized that this table is in question.
'I only care about being around in actual terms, ' after Mohamer invited him to dinner at a restaurant and they still are, 'this is the truth.'
'If so, it means I care about the untrue surroundings.'
'It easily changes opinions.'
'I actually still have the same opinion, I just don't know the right language, that's why when someone blames my opinion, actually they are violating my language. Just now it disagreed with my opinion, and thank you for justifying the language.'
Library
Library guard, watching television. She actually does watch television except when Jaydir and Mohamer come in the afternoon, because she's not. He watches television to keep the library closed.
Mosques
The mosque guard, is teaching. He actually still wanted to pray, but he was praying, even with Jaydir and Mohamer when it came evening. She teaches to keep herself awake.
Restaurants
The restaurant keeper, of course, is relaxing reading Health magazine at the moment. He did not even know that one of the waiters of the restaurant had brought 2 bowls of Mixed Ice before Duck Bakar and Rawon Iga with extra chili, to the numbered table. Mohamer and Jaydir had eaten the main menu, Jaydir had run out of Ice Mix while Mohamer stirred the ice.
'Order again if you still want to, ' Mohamer is free.
'Seriously?'
'Yes, it's okay.'
'Mbak! Order 1 Ice Mix again, ' when one of the waiters passes by.
'Do you know why I smile?'
'Because if you smile, it looks like Robert De Niro.'
'That's a great actor, he's giving his face the same as mine.'
'When he was young, his face was not a box. Why is it smiling?'
'Because, you asked for an additional sauce, and then you put it all in that rawon bowl. I think it's better if you put one container of chili into the dish, then you put enough sauce.'
'In order not to waste sambal?'
'Yes, that's right.'
'Actually, just after I put 2 containers of chili into this raw bowl, I also thought so. However, a few moments later I realized that I had no mind, that is to say, it was that thought that went into my mind so that I already knew what it was thinking.'
'Thank you, ' to the waiter who just put down a bowl of Mixed Ice.
Jaydir ate the Mixed Ice until it was half finished, then he scooped up the leftover Rawon Fish sauce, then said, 'I just realized, actually, the longer we are here, the truer I am. Because the sambal that has been mixed with this sauce will not be wasted.'
'That's why I waited.'
'That's why it just plunged there into the truth of my behavior that I myself sometimes thought was a stupid thing before I really understood.'
'Your good!'
Jaydir wiped it with his hands.
'Wear the tissue, ' pointing to the tissue box.
'I realized there was a tissue there. It seems that because I fantasize too much, I am often unaware of the things around me.'
'More precisely that is less concerned about it, ' having said that life cannot be merely a delusion.
'I only care about being around in the real level, ' after saying that being in a delusion is his job.
'This is the truth, ' after saying that a thing will not come true if only daydreamed.
'If so, that means I care about the untrue surroundings, ' after saying that he can prove that daydreams and the past are the same thing, ' he said, that's why the dreamer can distinguish between reality and fantasy compared to a realist.
'It easily changes opinions, ' after asking for clearer evidence than an abstract theory.
'I actually still have the same opinion, I just don't know the right language, that's why when someone blames my opinion, actually they are violating my language. Just now it disagreed with my opinion, and thank you for justifying the language,' after asking him, could he see it? Because the answer is probably yes, maybe not both statements. Since Mohamer knew it was a trick question, he only answered one. Since Jaydir already knew his trap was working, he simply explained that he already knew that it was a trick question and now he should already consider himself logical. It was all due to Jaydir's first statement that he would put a daydream into his mind about the way to the moon and the second statement that he would retell their experiences both the way to the beach months ago. A small problem arose when Jaydir recounted a trip to the beach last month by tweaking it so subtly that Mohamer was unaware of it. It has even become a great proof that a realist can change his experience without his awareness and will consider the fictional change a fact. The big problem arises when Jaydir asks if now he can see the moon (when telling about the way to the moon) and if now he can see the beach (when telling about the way to the moon beach then). It has even become an inexaggerable proof that a fearful realist is considered not to have a high imagination because it is considered to lower his level of intellect, so he'd say maybe yes if he'd consented to seeing her and maybe not because he was actually in the restaurant. Even a safe and moderate answer at all plunges it into a trap statement and question whose logistical depth is already very dense.
Library
Now it was time for her to go to;
Mosques
Now it was time for her not to think;
Restaurants
Now it was time for her not to think; mixed Ice. Jaydir really liked that Mixed Ice, especially his tapa. But it is a little like;
'This lady must be very expensive, ' holding a very short rib.
'Ya` certainly.'
'In part, the price is very expensive and the meat is only a little, even though it is the most delicious. But enjoy this sauce while being limped almost as little as the meat itself. I seem to know why there is a saying that when cooking meat, make a lot of gravy.'
'The proverb means, so that when we are enjoying the meat, we can share the sauce to the people around, especially the hungry.'
Jaydir looked at the next table, then at the other table again.
'It seems like everyone here is not hungry.'
'I was looking for something, but I had forgotten because of the words just now. Maybe my idea was too stupid to hear it. But, if I overdo it, I will put this sauce in plastic to take home, unfortunately I have spent it without caring about me.'
'Order again if you still want to, ' Mohamer is free.
'No need.'
'It's okay.'
'I actually still want to, but I pity that.'
'Pity why?'
'All right, ' Jaydir will order one more Ice Mix, please, he did not forget to order in order to get additional tapai although the waiter would forget the order so they had to ask again and order again even following the additional tapai, the problem occurred because the additional tapai was forgotten. Because Jaydir will explain what he means by caring to the surrounding on an actual level. He only cared about what he meant and wanted Mohamer to know that what Mohamer meant around was completely indifferent to him.
'Thank you, ' to the waiter who just put down a bowl of Mixed Ice.
'Why can a creature other than a human live without a human being, whereas the opposite is impossible?'
There's a Healthy Road Movement this morning, even from all ages.
'I just found out if the Road Movement is Healthy until night, ' asked Jaydir.
'This is Not a Healthy Road Movement. It's just a walk.'
Even the rows came out from the entrance of the road to the way home and it turns out this is not a Healthy Road Movement.
PROTRACTED ROUTINITIES
After laughing, Jaydir asked, 'what was there ever watching, "Rease-Rease|Klien nan Kultur?'
'Already, old comedy film era Junior High, ' replied the man with a deep voice so that a pair of legs on the balcony of the 4th floor.
'I watched it in SD, my brother bought his VHS. Watching a movie like that when SD, planga-plongo, uh fitting I re-watch again when I was big, astagah! The background music is Residential Climate, ' Jaydir laughed then, 'although the truth is. Movie "Ambruk!!!|Psychotic Client" too, the background music is Residential Climate.' After a while, 'even I just realized that the composer is the same screenwriter he is too.'
'One of the "Damn it!" movies!" also nih, with "Blacky Souldier, Black Souljah," very depressive.' VHS with a cover titled, "Secarik Baratan|Klien nan Western,' shown by his male hand. The cover is black-and-white with a female face only half.
The pair-legged woman, so much deeper than the man, touched Jaydir's feet and said, 'Muhajid Jaydir! The music is "Ambruk!!!|Psychotic Client," instead of a song from his solo album too?' it was not a question and the woman knew it so she touched the other man's feet and said, 'don't ask me again about Mana Hemta, her films are crazy, ' she grins even though she's not the one who makes them, 'if it's about local artists, I can't make a list because there are too many humans in one There's Mana. But when it comes to world directors, from some names that are especially from Japan, please see Kinji Fukasaku's films.'
'That, right, ' Jaydir touched the woman's foot as well and said, 'as before, I said that the background music "Rease-Rease|Klien nan Kultur," Climate Residential all, but not! I have a disease when the one singing is Ada Hemta, I say Residential Climate and Astagah! I've never seen a Japanese movie, but it's "2001: A Space Odyssey." Astagah! The only Japanese director I know is Akira Kurosawa.'
'Newly watch "Tora-Tora-Tora," and "Battle Royale."' The man suddenly said as he should after his turn arrived without even touching anything.
'Astagah! I just know the title is "Tora-Tora-Tora,"' more than suddenly Jaydir replied.
'Muhajid Jaydir, ' his touch grew stern on his feet, then smiled and laughed, 'so old-fashioned Akira Kurosawa! It means it's already khatam "Seven Samurai?"' Touching the man's feet was softer, 'sangar! Be lucky to have seen masterpiessey!'
'Only, "Seven Samurai" has been. I also know the director because of the film, Jaydir replied without touching a foot.
'I guess Akira Toriyama, ' the man joked coldly.
After laughing much colder he said, 'That created Goku as I recall.' After touching his feet much harder he said, 'Muhajid Jaydir! It means watching Akira's other work. He was considered reliable in his day, because he was the first from Japan who wanted to make a theme film; "Noir." Some of my recommendations are: "The Hidden Fortess" (1958), "Yojimbo" (1950), "Stray Dog" (1949) and "Ran" (1985).'
'Astagah, I just found out Akira Toryanama! Aashem!' Jaydir let out a one-hit laugh after recalling he had said, 'astagah!' and remember he had forgotten so many times, 'I was curious as to "Yojimbo." I will see all the recommendations there. I've also run out of western movies.'
The man followed the one-hit laughter coldly, "Yes, that's the master of Dragon Ball."
"Muhajid Jaydir!" Then the woman touched the feet gently, but following her one-stop laughter was much colder in rhythm with her touch and, "Ula-Biba," She Where has Hemta seen yet?'
'Is there a movie?'
'That's the composer of the new Climate-Occupy all. It was different from the book, but the adaptation was perfect. The film that I recommended was all in Kiosk-Kiosan Film-Fileman really, just rented. But the movie "Ula-Biba" does not exist yet.'
'I've never seen it, I've heard it. Aashem!' this time he remembered with a single chuckle, 'I happened to be a regular at the stall too, but Ingrid Bergman's films were rare, and I also just found out the stall has a branch here. It seems I was lazy to watch "Ula-Biba," I was more interested in the Akira-Akira that was mentioned earlier.'
'Ula Biba is Hemta's new film.'
'Astagah!,'~, '"Ula-Biba," turned out to be Hemta's new movie.'
The woman showed me the cover of the theater because she kept it in the man's closet.
'Astenghah!'~, 'I love this cover, then I've seen this before. Maybe this cover used to be anywhere until I didn't notice.'
The man left the balcony and left them alone.
'Did you ever watch "Raging Bull?"'
This time without even a touch, 'ever. If you want to ask De Niro's cast of films, I've been all, ' but a much cold laugh into the touching, 'that's one of Martin Scorsese's best films, ' he said, second, first is "Taxi Driver," in my opinion, De Niro also plays.'
'If in my opinion, first order, "Raging Bull," second, "Taxi Driver," third new "Goodfellas." Actually, "Taxi Driver" equals "Goodfelllas," can be exchanged, but "– Bull," is always first even I myself do not know why. I guess, I'm the only local to have seen it.'~, "You****My Wife?"
'Warm greetings from Travis!' The man suddenly comes at the revolver in the exact same style as one of the scenes in the movie "Taxi Driver," while shooting practice in his room.
Jaydir borrowed the revolver and said, 'You Lookin` At Me?' and hold it and touch it, every detail of it.
'You Talkin` To Me?' he answered, then asked the woman, "Mean Streets," what? Why do we talk about movies like this? No papalah.
'I have not, ' Jaydir replied although not asked, 'ever watch "Mean Streats," Martin movie that entered my heart anyway only 3 that's all. Aashem!'~, 'in the movie "Taxi –," he speaks himself in front of the mirror and in "Raging Bull," he also speaks himself in front of the mirror again.'
'4:20 detected mode,'
'"Mean Streets" was so engrossed, ' after getting a turn to speak, 'Johnny Boy whom I really love so much.'
'They said it was fun, I became interested in watching it, ' Jaydir replied suddenly. When he gave it to the man, he at once asked him, 'that was the lecture in Botany?'
'I studied at IPB.'
'I think Bogor Agri Kultur Institutions is abbreviated with Botany. Guess where my house is?'
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,_ 'short for where?' the woman suddenly asked although it was not her turn to answer, 'it seems that it has started weirdo, nih. Please calm yourself first. Abisin used to be the one!'
"Ahyu Sim Amanda!"~,_ 'would I bring my eyes to his face, then out his other face, then in his wallet there is writing he lectures in Bogor Agri sret-sret-sret, s, then I remember the word Botani which said there is a university that has a botanical garden, from which the abbreviation comes. I just hear the word IPB strange, usually I hear ITB. Woy! Seriously! Guess where my house is?'
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,_ 'I most anti look at the contents of people's wallets, I guess the house there must be in Bongsyi Yuang?' Then he laughed with a frozen grin.
'I saw the contents of his wallet because there is a Bogor script. Aashem!'~, 'sangar situ know if I am Bongsyi Yuang person. Sangarkan me Bongsyi Yuang people.'
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,_ 'so sad to be curious about a man, mas. What the hell is that, "Gay?" Is it seriously in Bongsyi Yuang? Bongsyi Yuang TPST?'
'Because there watch "Raging Bull," I'm interested in directing my eyes to the face of it so that the other face out there, the other one, it turned out that the other face was not out so maybe I could know the same thing from a different person and see his face, and it turned out I managed to see his wallet. It turns out he is an Illustrator, I am even sure if that's where I must have watched "2001:–" also because he's an Illustrator and he's from bogor so maybe it's from bogor as well until I'm more curious. Looks like I should have asked a guy who's already seen "Raging Bull," because I'm actually a lesbian,' ~~~~~, 'me at Bongsyi Yuang, but I myself do not know what TPST is not here, 'woy! Is that not lesbian too?'
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,\_ 'me? "I'm a genius, a billionaire, a playboy, a philantrophist."–Tony Stark.~~~~, 'meaning that, "2001: A Space Odyssey?"'
"Ahyu Sim Amanda!"~,_ 'if "I coudda been a contender. I could`ve been someone, instead of a bum, which is how I was,"–Terry Malloy\Jake La Motta. And that's the movie I mean.'
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,_ 'The big-gede lot means!'
'Of course not. Just say billionaire, kind, playboy, picekantropus can be female,'~~~~~
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,\_ 'I am unemployed after the Age Of Ultron project, now on vacation in Maldive while being a woman,'~~~~~
'To my knowledge, Tony Stark does not use glasses,'~~~
'It means?'
'It meant to be that I said, "Picechatropus," not, "philantrophist." As we know you don't listen well, I expect you must not; Tony Stark at all, because he wants no glasses.'~~~
"Good statement," after that the woman left . . . .
. . . . After that the woman came, carrying a cartoon with a picture of Tony Stark wearing his glasses with his finger giving the thumb to anyone who saw it.
"Good understanding," afterwards Jaydir went . . . .
. . . . After that Jaydir came, carrying a cartoon depicting Pac Man facing small balls. After that, he showed a poster with a smiling Steven Tyler face and placed a finger-fingered palm filled with his ring on the cheek.
"Good Bye," after that the man left . . . .
'Same-sama didn't hear correctly that means the two of us,'~~~
'Actually the glasses to fool it into thinking that Picekantroppus could not understand something, because Tyler was similar to Picekantropus, so I showed him his face, '~~~~~
'Hayy! I was fooled,'~~~~~
'That's all because it's the only person watching "Raging Bull."'
'Was everyone watching "Raging Bull, '" should be fooled?'~~~
'Only conscientious people who watch "Raging Bull," and conscientious people love the little details that people overlook. In fact, it was deliberately made by the perpetrator to call people. So, that's how I call people.'~, 'forgive me who called there by way of tricking it. Just know Mr. Bungle,'~
"Muhajid Jaydir!"~,_' and according to that, that's a meticulous person? It`s okay mas, there is nothing wrong between us. I know Mr. Bungle 'cause they're Avant-Garde. And I followed them since High School.'
'I'm a strict person, but if I'm an adult, the pretentious will disappear. I also know because they're Avant-Garde, and in my opinion the meticulous, they mess up, that's why I prefer Frank Zappa,'~~~ 'I have 2 evidences of Ragging Bulls there; "continue everyone who watches Ragging Bull must be fooled?" and, "same-sama not hearing properly that means us?" and there's actually 1 more, "Like it or don't like it's taste. It`s all up to you."
'It seems to be true what it says about the snobbery, because, (research the version there,) it says Tyler looks like "picekantropus," (sometimes it uses the Picekantroppus version, ' he said,) I'm not necessarily saying what it looks like. I am not inedible anyway, "Word-Sword," belongs to situ~ Situ always uses new vocabulary, (which is quite situ itself that understands.) I still do not understand about the Ragging Bull-an that is meant, (in my mind there is no element of meticulous or pretentious.)'
After that the male came, carrying a cartoon pictured 4 prehistoric human species, where the most modern species and being on the far right walked back face to face with the previous species, his mouth says in the dialect box, "Go Back! We Fucked Up Everything." Then the man said in his own room, "I said goodbye, mom."~
'Really, I'm being honest and if that goes before I put out 3 proofs of the Raging Bull, I'd believe it if it wasn't eaten by my "Word-Sword" and, ASTAGAH!, I would believe it!,~ I thought Tyler was like an ape, apparently not necessarily everyone thinks like that, HURRAY! ~~~~~~, 'in itself there is no element of snobbery and in itself there is an element of meticulous because it is afraid to interpret the word 'Ragging Bull-an. When it is pretentious, surely there immediately knows the meaning, but because it is thorough, it becomes wrong to be afraid in interpreting it.'
'When I think, that's clear! No anomaly! I was not consumed because I never tried to understand. I assume the wind passes. Coincidentally that said it looks like an ape it has achievements, by the way. 3 proof that it says until now I do not understand, because I do not try to understand,'~~~~~, '3 The evidence that it says, I say only because I want to know the orientation of the way of thinking there, by the way. Because I think, "Premis," that has been there from the beginning is messing up, (supported writing that is also not okay,) NO OFFENSE! Muhajid Jaydir!'~,_
'OK, 3 proofs were only issued by those who wanted to know how to think, while at that time I did not know, I did not know, that's why I'm trying to find out why there are people who are resistant to serving me who think it's not clear and have fought from the beginning, (support my writing method which is also not OK [Computer] NO DEFENSE! Didn't even go with him and it just so happened that what I said looked like an ape was the musician I liked the most.'~~~
Balcony 4th Floor
!6 Feet it keeps hovering in;
side end of balcony 4th floor,
a pair of possessions;
women and 2 pairs belong to men.
!3 the mind keeps hovering in;
the ends of the brain side roll 4,
a possession;
women and 2 pieces belong to men.
!6 Feet it keeps hovering in;
side end of balcony 4th floor,
a pair of possessions;
women and 2 pairs belong to men.
!3 the feeling kept hovering in; the end of the heart side of room 4,
sealir owned;
women and 2 flow belong to men.
!6 Feet it keeps hovering in;
side end of balcony 4th floor,
a pair of possessions;
women and 2 pairs belong to men.
BENSYAN & JAYDIR
Before going to bed, he prepared a pen and a blank sheet to reply to a letter from his uncle.
After going to bed, he put a blank pen and sheet and started writing, on the floor.
augusta 18, 1998
Lamirand,
Uncle Gamni Lesik
Walkman and cassette tape I have received, sorry I can not love.
Uncle, thank you for sending me the gift. Now I can hear the music again. Thanks for the choice. Now I can hear the music again. Ok Computer is a very good album, as good as the album should have been recorded and composted.
Uncle, thank you for the offer of his help, it will be very helpful. I need a surgery to exercise. In order to relieve uncle, I will ask for my every need every month.
Muhajid Jaydir
BENSYIANA: You're just having a nightmare. You dream if I ask you what you dream the most and what bad things are imagined. I asked, but you can't remember what you dreamed. It's just your feeling, you yourself have forgotten it.
JAYDIR: That is not my feeling, that is my calculation.
BENSHIANA: How can you count when you have no mind?
JAYDIR: How can I think?! . . . .
BENSYIANA: How can you think if you consider a group of jinn or not, they often accompany the wind.
How can you think if you can't see yourself?
JAYDIR: I thought that a group of jinn often hitchhiked with the wind when traveling because I could feel their feelings at any time.
BENSYIANA: How do you think about things even when you yourself say that you feel them, instead of you thinking about them.
JAYDIR: I have no feelings.
BENSYIANA: That's why you'll assume other creatures' feelings when you feel something.
JAYDIR: It is true, and so do I feel human.
BENSYIANA: If you are right, but you are right because somehow you are getting smarter, you must know that there are always 3 different histories in each passing time.
JAYDIR: How can it be justified?
BENSHIANA: You only live in one of its histories.
JAYDIR: How can I know the rest of history?
BENSYIANA: You have to think harder to know the history in the dimension of history you are living in, that's why you should feel softer to know the history in the dimension you died in.
JAYDIR: How can I know history in the dimension of history that you have not mentioned.
BENSYIANA: Hypocrites always think hard and feel soft, that's why you have to be a hypocrite to be able to know history in that bumpy dimension. That's why, not my father's hypocrite, he was an honest thinker. I just hated him because he wouldn't understand that I was insulting him if I said that he was an honest thinker. He does not even understand that relying on thoughts alone is more foolish than relying on feelings alone, because people who rely on feelings alone will look foolish in the historical dimension in which humans live.