The End of Two Semesters
Chapter 55 - Too Selfish

“Marry me, San. I will divorce Zahra, and divorce your husband, I promise I will make you happy, atone for my sins for throwing you away, atoning for the time wasted on my selfishness. Please, marry me, Santi.” Fano clasped Santi's hand, kissed him many times, and begged Santi to come back to him.

“It doesn't feel right, Fan. We go back but hurt others. Although I will part with Arya, but you should not divorce Zahra for my sake. We've got our lives, Fan. Can't go back to how it used to be, let alone Anin only knows Arya as her father, not you,” said Santi.

Fano was shocked by Santi's statement that Anin only knew Arya as his father, not himself. So all this time Santi did not tell Anin that he was her papa.

“San, I promise, I'll make up for everything that's been lost. Let me get you again, San.” Fano still pleaded with Santi.

“I can't, Fan. As long as you go, the figure of Arya who has always been my protector, she who always takes care of me with all her heart, and sorry I was comfortable with her,” said Santi.

“If it's convenient why split? Why ask for divorce? And just now, you replied to my kiss gently, and it still feels like old times, when you and I were together, you were replying with passionate excitement, San!”

“There's something that makes me have to part from him, Fan. Don't you know, it's my problem with him. To be honest, we still love each other, but we have to separate. And, for that kiss. Maybe because I was too carried away by the feelings that used to be, but sorry does not seem to be the feeling of love for you that made me reply to your kiss with passion,” explained Santi.

“What's because of that marriage agreement?” ask Fano curiously.

“No, there is another problem, which you do not need to know, because this is my household problem with Arya. And, all this time Arya still won't sign my lawsuit. He always refused it,” explained Santi.

“I hope you will be separated from her soon, because I will also take care of my divorce with Zahra. We agreed to separate, I said I'd find you, and I'd marry you. He agrees,” Fano said.

“Do not like that, Fan.”

“My wedding is a business wedding, and I also know my wife does not love me, because I do not love her either.”

Santi silently heard Fano's words. He was so easy to play with marriage. Maybe he'll divorce Zahra just to live with Santi.

“Did Fano come back just to hurt my heart again? Just to incise old wounds and add them with new pain?” inner Santi.

“I beg you, San. I still love you so much, your departure because I dumped you has made me realize, that you are the only meaningful woman in my life,” Fano said merrily.

“If I meant anything to you, you couldn't possibly let me go and marry someone else, Fan. And, the one that disappointed me with you, was very disappointed, when you said the child I was carrying was not your child. How can you talk like that, while as long as I'm with you, there's never a man close to you, only you, nothing else, Fano. But you have the heart to say that the child I bear is not your son? Disappointed, Fan!” santi screeched with a wistful look, the corner of her eyes began to be inundated with tears, which were about to fall.

“Iya because I was confused back then, San. I wasn't ready to be a father, I wasn't ready to get married, I still wanted to be free then. I don't want any ties. Moreover, your papa is very authoritarian rule your life!”

“Papa did that, because papa loves me. The only daughter who is very proud, but what am I doing? I've let papa down, with me pregnant out of wedlock, plus you don't want to take responsibility! If you want to talk well, take responsibility, papa will also accept, Fan! Butwhat? No good faith from you, you dumped me!” said Santi bitterly. “I don't blame authoritarian papa on me, Fan! Maybe I'll do the same to Anin! I'll protect her, I won't release her, but that doesn't mean I'm limiting her, I just don't want what happened to me, to happen to Anin too!”

Fano was silent, he ate Santi who was wiping his tears. Inner Santi fought, he was still in a dilemma to part with Arya, and suddenly Fano came up with a bunch of memories of his time together

“I beg you, forgive me, and I beg you, come back with me, San. I still love you so much, and I'm sure you're the same, you still love me so much. Don't lie to your heart, San,” Fano. “I want us to be like we used to be, I'll fix everything, San. I promise you that. I still love you so much.” Fano gently rubbed Santi's cheek, and kissed Santi on the forehead, slowly the kiss landed on Santi's lips, and Santi returned to reply. Santi noticed, she removed the link of her lips, and kept Fano away from her.

“Why did I let myself get mired in the same mud? Remember Santi! Now that Fano is married, he belongs to another woman, you can't be like this! Even with you, you are also still the husband of people, you still belong to Arya, because Arya has not yet turned you in!” santi's mind screamed softly, Santi held onto her chest that felt a quick throb. His heart raced as he recalled earlier, the second time he had kissed Fano. “So is there still love in the bottom of my heart for Fano? Or is that love still burning? Not fading in the slightest, even though Fano used to have scratched the wound in my heart.” Inner Santi, by feeling his heart fight violently because of the incident earlier.

Santi turned his back on Fano. He continued to wipe his tears that had splashed down his cheeks. Fano hugged Santi from behind, “I beg you not to leave me again, come back to me, San,”.

“We can't be together, Fan. You married another woman. Although you do not love him, but you belong to another woman,” said Santi bitterly.

Santi let go of Fano's embrace, he no longer wanted to be trapped in a feeling like this, let alone his problem with Arya was still not a bright spot. “I want to go home, it's afternoon, pity Anin alone,” said Santi.

Santi walked ahead of Fano, towards Fano's car which was parked quite far from the beach. Santi was still wiping away her tears that often fell on her cheeks. “Why did you marry another woman you didn't love, Fan? Then why after marriage did you come back to me and ask myself to come back to you, and then you divorced your wife. Then, love is just a game to you, Fan! So easy you turn to another woman, ” Santi's inner self.

Santi hastened his way, he already wants to go home, even he wants to go home by taxi, not with Fano.

“I won't see Fano again. I'll forget everything about Fano. Let the rest of my love for Fano just be a fissure of the past,” Santi's determination grumpily.

Fano won't let Santi go home on his own. However, he picked up Santi at the salon, so he had to drive her back to the Salon. Santi sat down on the side of Fano driving his car. The presence of Fano who looks san filled with longing this afternoon makes Santi renege on his own promise. The defense in Santi instantly fused as Fano clutched him full of longing and love as before, and tado can still be felt Santi.

Want it feels like Santi answered yes he was busy, because it will review the product, and many reports of boutiques and salons that he had to work on, but his lips were confused. “I'm not busy, tonight is only at home with Anin,” replied Santi with a little hesitation.

“Will dinner with me tonight?” invite Fano by looking at Santi with the same eyes as before. Highlight the eyes that made Santi feel only she was the woman Fano deserved to love in this world.

“No, I don't want to, I won't go with you anymore!” replies Santi, and the answer only comes to Santi's heart.

“Ya, Fan.” Santi said by biting his lips. “I want, later share where the restaurant.”

“I want, Fan. Just go with you.” Inner Santi kelu, inexplicably he became this unstable after meeting Fano.

^^^

Santi arrived at his house. Unlike his bias that every time he came home he greeted Anin with opa and oma, but this afternoon he was only greeted by his mother and father, there was no Anin among them, but this afternoon he was only welcomed by his mother and father, and it is impossible before Maghrib Anin sleeps, otherwise his omanya will keep Santi in his room.

“This is the tumben mama and papa who welcomed Santi home? Where's Anin? Is he sleeping?” ask Santi.

“A—Anin is with Arya. Arya wants to invite him to play at her house. Kakung as utinya also kangen, was here with Anin,” said Halimah.

“Kok mama love them to bring Anin? Mama, how is that? Why don't you say hello to Santi, anyway!” erang Santi was disappointed.

“Mama don't feel the need to say goodbye to you, after all Arya is still your husband, and she's Anin's father?” answer Halimah relax.

“Ma, he is still my husband! But, he's not Anin's real father! Anin's real father is Fano, not Arya! I've decided to return with Fano after the divorce!” I don't know why Santi spoke like that in front of his parents.

“What did you say? You're going back with Fano? Remember, Santi, he dumped you! He threw you and Anin away until you suffered! Pregnant without husband! Now you say you want to go back with Fano? You are still Arya's wife!” Erang Halimah grumpily hears Santi is coming back with her ex-boyfriend who dumped her first.

“Santi is still his wife Mas Arya, Ma! But, Santi was already willing to part with him! Santi has met Fano, Santi decided to return with Fano, with or without the blessing of mama and papa!” cetus Santi's. “As for mama to give Arya a chance to meet Anin until when, let it be, anyway soon I will divorce Arya, and Anin I will bring to live with Fano.”

“You're crazy, Santi! You don't realize he hurt you? He has made your life a mess! He dumped you, Santi!” Halimah was getting up and up and heard Santi talk like that. Unlike usual, this time Halimah was really disappointed with her daughter, she was very angry and wanted to swear rudely.

“This has been the decision of Santi, Ma,” said Santi then left his mother and father to the room.

“Santi, don't make decisions when you're emotional, son. Think carefully, papa knows your heart is still a mess, calm your heart, and make a decision when your heart is calm,” said Hermawan understandingly and wisely.

Santi stopped moving his legs as his papa spoke in such a gentle and understanding tone. Santi thought his father would be angry, and cursed not good, it turns out his father actually opened his heart a little, he justifies his papa's speech, if his heart is messy, and not okay. “Iya, Santi will think calmly, Pa,” replied Santi gently.

“Give it, so that your mind is fresh, papa asks, you think carefully. Papa apologizes, papa has allowed Arya to bring Anin. Don't blame your mama, papa is also wrong to allow Arya to bring Anin, but however Arya has also considered Anin her own daughter, she is very loving and loving Anin. He also misses Anin,” a lot, said Hermawan.

“Iya, Pa,” replied Santi, then went inside his room.

His papa's words were so soft and understanding, making Santi aware, if his speech had made his mother's heart hurt. Yes, Arya does love Anin, Arya also has the right to meet Anin, and take Anin to her home.

“Am I selfish? I just saw Arya hug Naira, I got like this? I was so disappointed with him, right? I've been flirting with Fano repeatedly? Maybe if Arya saw it, Arya would be more disappointed than me. Oh my God .. What should I do? And I promised Naira I'd give Mas Arya back to her? I owe him my life. He has saved my papa,” said Santi with a heart of troubled dilemma.

Halima cries in the arms of Hermawan. She doesn't want to yell at Santi like that, but she hears Fano's name, and Santi says she'll be back with Fano again, after her divorce from Arya.

“I'm just scared of Santi like me, Mas. She's still someone's wife, I don't want my son to commit the same sin as me, I'm sure Santi has been reunited with Fano,” Halimah said sobbing.

“You calm your mind first, everything will be fine. Santi won't be like that, I know what Santi looks like, even though I'm less close to him, because I always keep him, but I understand what he looks like. Trust me, everything will be fine, Ma,” said Hermawan by calming his wife.

Halima felt her husband's warm embrace. Her husband is wiser now than he used to be. Hermawan no longer uses muscles when talking to Santi, while reprimanding Santi. Now he is more patient, and talks from heart to heart with Santi, as well as himself.

Santi heard what papa and his mother had been talking about. “Worried it's mama with me? I promise, Ma. I wouldn't be like that. Yes I have to talk about all this well with Mas Arya, I can not be selfish like this,” said Santi in his heart, when after listening to what papa and his mother talked about in the living room.