The Story Of Self Harm.
SELF-ABUNDANCE

After we arrived at the tomb of the mother was already there Dion and Lusi, they were both seen already in the tomb of the mother while sprinkling flowers.

Dion and Lusi were my best friends from childhood they were both like siblings, we went to college on the same campus, even though we were different from Dion in Business and Lusi, a prospective doctor, our friendship was maintained very well, so when we commemorated the day of my mother's death they would also be there,I saw Dion and Lusi start coming up to us to talk to each other.

"Hi om Hendra, hai aunt Sarah and hi my Princess Kartika"but arrived Dion stroked my hair which I felt was getting longer, and at that moment I again dodged with fear.

"OK, Tika I'm not gonna touch a fingertip of you again, I'm sorry"

no. Dion is not the wrong one but I'm the weird one, wanting to feel like I'm like another normal girl who can take a touch from the opposite sex, not even scared when getting that touch,if it hadn't happened I probably wouldn't be this weird.

"When Tika hai hai are you listening to my voice?"instantly I came to my senses from the daydream when I felt Lusi had put his hand on his shoulder, and somehow it felt like this heart was beating like someone was in love.

God is this normal?how do I feel God?the unusual feeling when Lusi touched me, there was no fear but the feeling of someone wanting that touch should not be let go

"Lusi I'm healthy and well today the weather is quite hot so it's probably what makes me a little dizzy" while I hugged Lusi from the side.

" Okay Tika we know you have low blood so this can happen to you, Iya Lusi maybe what you say there is a point because since in the car Tika has complained of headaches"

There was the voice of aunt Sarah who came to us.

"Let's finish sowing the flowers and clean up Tika's mama's grave after that we go to lunch together,

ready aunt, Lusi and Dion will definitely come with pleasure if aunt and om offer lunch together let alone free hahaha"

There was a sound of Dion's laughter was very loud, while Lusi only occasionally laughed when listening to Dion continue to give a guyonan to aunt Sarah and om Hendra, while he continued to give a guyonan to aunt Sarah,yes Dion is indeed a very humorous many girls are captivated because of the character he is like this.

After we finished from the tomb, and aunt invited us all to eat at one of our favorite places to eat, namely gudeg merecon mbak Gina gudeg mbak Gina cuisine is indeed no one can match, we all ate very voraciously every once in a while Dion made us all laugh with his signature flirtation, in between meals I tried to dare to ask one thing to Hendra and Aunt Sarah.

"Om, can auntie ask you something? Yes of course Tika om will answer it if om can answer your question, Tika already grown up can Tika ask where is the tomb of Papa Tika? because every year we visit only mama's tomb, When you don't even know papa buried where, why can papa die?

om and aunty seem to cover it from Tika"

"I'm sorry about aunt and om who haven't told you the story about your father, but aunt promised me a few more days right on your 21st birthday, aunt and om will tell you the truth. Good aunt Tika wait for om's appointment and aunt for Tika"

Honestly it does not feel satisfied with aunt Sarah's answer, but I can not argue with them in the midst of a crowded atmosphere especially here there Dion and Lusi as well.

"Tika today we forget that makes the heart sad, today let's have fun"while Lusi patted my shoulder and somehow this strange feeling came back when Lusi gave me another touch.

"Hey right what Lusi said let's have fun before tomorrow we return with our grueling thesis, next week I have your trial how"?

dion's voice reminded me that I'm also going to court next week.

"I'm in court also next week hopefully we can go through the trial well and get a very satisfying result well, amen" Dion and Lusi answered simultaneously.

"Lusi what about your koas? can it start? ahem two more days I have started to run it pray so that I can go through to the end well, Lamin Lusi surely you can spirit well, thank you Tika you are indeed one of my best friends"

Hugging and once again I felt a different feeling when Lusi touched me.

"let's go home aunty and there's still work to be done as soon as possible"

we rushed out of Gudeg's place and walked to their respective cars, so it happened that Dion and Lusi were in the same direction so they went home with only one car.

All the way home I kept asking what was wrong with me?what is my feeling about Lusi?why am I being like this?Since when?questions that I can only ask in my heart without me daring to tell this to om or aunt.

Every once in a while on the way I take out the chocolate I always keep in my bag to eat, I love chocolate so much that it's in my bag everywhere I go,because to me only chocolate can relieve any anger, any anxiety I might be experiencing.

Is this feeling normal?am I in love with Lusi? what the hell happened to me? if it is true that I started to fall in love with Lusi this is my deepest feeling that I would not be able to express, but is this really a feeling of love?I'm confused, what should I do?if this feeling keeps growing am I not normal?am I okay?do I need to find a psychiatrist for my problems?but I'm a psychology student myself. Arrh I don't know

I kept chewing this chocolate a lot until my mouth was full of chocolate.

"When it's not like that eating chocolate, like a child" heard aunt Sarah's voice reprimanding me for seeing my mouth full of chocolate, on ahkirny all the way I chose to sleep instead of listening to aunt Sarah talk to Mr. Udin who discussed her favorite soap opera.