THORNS IN MARRIAGE
CHAPTER 41 - GALAU
Tonight my eyes are hard to close.
There are a lot of thoughts in the head. It feels tired and makes mumet.
There were two men, one of whom even first said seriously wanted to marry me after the end of my iddah period. That is Mas Jonathan, the boss and wingless angel of my protector.
The other is Jordan. My Elementary School friend was also the only male friend with whom I could talk anything without fear of being judged.
But, can I be greedy if I choose Mas Jonathan but still want to be pure friends and still be able to chat every night with Jordan?
Of course it was so greedy, Liana! Where is there such a relationship? You hurt two hearts if you still don't want to let go of one. What a difference between you and Irsyad even though in reality you haven't made up your mind to Jonathan and Jordan! Think of using a healthy brain and also worth the speed of a woman. Is it permissible for religion and other general public? No, Liana!
I remember the podcast of a famous female artist. Nagita Slavina to be exact. There is no genuine friendship between a man and a woman. One of them must be someone who keeps the taste. Baper and there's turmoil in his chest every time they're together.
I also agree.
Back when I was newly married to Irsyad, all my friendships with opposite-sex friends were gradually put down.
Because I want to take care of my household as well as my husband's feelings too. At least, I also do not want to be accused of a wife who likes to chat with other men even though they are married. Afraid to say gatel.
But ten years of marriage does not guarantee a couple more love because our attitude, nature and attitude are well maintained.
Still thorns and thistles hit until the boat was torn and shipwrecked in the vast ocean.
I was drowning in marriage disappointment.
Now, there is a man who is always on standby to help me from all my troubles. Guarding me from the suffering of poverty. Also looks capable of protecting. I guess, there's nothing wrong with me moving on and starting a new life.
I was actually afraid of heartache again, afraid of failing again. Moreover, my history of parents also divorced and they both married again.
But I see life has to go on. I'm 32 years old. Still need love and guidance.
One secret thing I haven't told Mas Jonathan and Jordan, my friends. I.. never had a history of developing cysts in my ovaries until it had to be removed immediately through surgery.
The doctor didn't say I wouldn't have children. But there is a slight oddity because my uterine sac may have a slight problem so it is quite difficult to get pregnant and give birth.
Could it be that I will not have children in my lifetime? Oh, my God, my God... As a woman, I want to be perfect. Wanting to get pregnant, give birth and breastfeed my own flesh. But all His Power. I can only pray and give myself.
I do not want, whoever the man who will be my next door is disappointed because the household is tasteless and has not been given offspring.
My love story with Irsyad taught me a lesson.
The child is a binder.
Children are also evidence of regeneration in a marriage. It is undeniable and I do not want to be takabur because I experienced it myself.
Irsyad once said that not having children does not mean the end of the world. The important thing is that we are always together in joy and sorrow. Embrace each other and tighten the handrails. Support each other, support each other and give each other strength. That's the household. So said.
In fact, the tongue is not boned. The hearts of people cannot be broken. Our initial aspirations and ideals to build a happy little household were just cheesy. A woman came to be my husband's usurper. Letting his body be groped and caressed by a married man. Even until the womb is able to fulfill the desire of a strong desire of a man to have offspring. The seeds of pregnancy.
Dajjal women, indeed!
Brucks
I unconsciously slammed the glass until it broke into a splint.
Tok tok tok tok
"Liana! Lianna!!! What's up?"
Jonathan sayup-sayup's voice called my name.
Ow hell! I was stupid to make a scene!
"There's nothing, Mom! Just a glass falling off the table!"
"Open your bedroom door! Let me clean up the shard!"
Oh my... So sweet this guy!
SERIATE