Those Who Want My Body
Dreams After Istikhoroh

Heard me sobbing Anwar woke up from his sleep.

"Aish dear." Call me Anwar.

I still didn't heed his call.

"Dear." Mas Anwar pulled me by grabbing my face which just kept bowing.

"Look at me."

I don't know what my face looks like right now because I keep shedding tears. Anwar wiped my tears with his finger.

"It's okay, baby. Thank you for worrying. This is why I didn't say anything last night."

"But still mas..." I cannot continue my words.

Mas Anwar hugged me, trying to calm me down.

"From the first time mas always like this, every there is nothing on the mas. I never told me."

***

Before I married Mas Anwar, brother Andi suggested I pray istikhoroh to convince my heart in making a decision.

For two weeks, every two or three days I pray istikhoroh.

After the second Istikhoroh prayer, I dreamed of meeting with Mas Anwar. In my dream he was pushing his bike with a slight limp.

"Mas Anwar why?"

"It was an accident, but it's really okay. Only this..." Anwar showed one of his front teeth broken.

Surprised to see the state of Anwar, made me wake up from my dream. Adzan shubuh. I, who still wears my face, may fall asleep on the bed. Because I fell asleep, I returned to fetch water.

Before performing the prayer, my phone rang.

"Hallo. Assalamualaikum, brother. What's up?"

"Know what brother?"

"Anwar's accident."

Deg. My legs are weak, my body is drooping on the bed.

"Hallo. Aishs. Aishwa."

"Ah yes brother. Then now how is Anwar's condition?"

"Sister doesn't know for sure either. But Agni's mom said that one of her front teeth was broken."

Deg. Deg. Deg. My heart raced like I was racing.

"Maybe he's just now calling his family, but his accident was yesterday afternoon."

It didn't feel like my tears were melting, hearing what was happening exactly like my dream.

"Aish you why are you crying. You okay?" Andi sounded worried.

If only I had not been in the exam period and the distance from the boarding place to the work place Anwar near, maybe I had run to make sure the condition.

***

"It's all because of me. If you hadn't taken me to work last night, I'd be fine. Just like before, if I had never asked for guidance through isthoroh, I would never have dreamed of a crash."

"Shhhhh. It's not your fault. It's God's destiny. Take wisdom from every event. Anyway mas today wants to be alone and continue with you." Anwar hugged me tightly.

"Hmmm..." I came back crying.

After feeling I was calm, Anwar told me the chronology of the accident that happened to him.

At that time because of the rain in the wind, there was a tree trunk that fell right in front of Anwar's car. It is not possible to pass through the car, without getting rid of the tree trunk. No one helped Anwar. Finally, Anwar came down to get rid of the tree trunk. However, once out of the car from the back there is someone who drives a motorcycle quickly overtake Anwar mas car that is stopping. Mas Anwar was hit by the motorbike and fell quite far from the car.

Despite hitting someone, the biker did not stop to help Anwar.