Travel Stories
Kay's Story

INTRODUCTIONS

Chapter I

Those skills are getting longer and more manifest. No longer as close as night. No longer a fog. Whispering unspoken words that disturb..

A late regret?

The unspeakable sorry?

Anger without purpose?

I'm weary...

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You can call me Kay. Yep, Kay is like the letter K pronounced in English.

Kay...

You may wonder why I chose to be called by that name. But I'm sure you would if you had a parent who gave you the name 'Chaos'.

That's the name that the late father pinned 18teen years ago. Without any frills, the name stuck sweetly on my birth certificate, graduation diploma and an eternal joke for me until I finally chose Kay as my identity. According to him, the name is not bad at all. It even has a grand meaning. KElak You Will Love Will and Fairness and abbreviated, CHAOS... A hock?

Huh, just try to be me, then...

But if that's not enough, my story will make you really see how life is a huge stage joke that takes place on earth with Him as the narrator, and the director, he said, although often crisp and not funny, but maybe later you will only be able to sigh and think, maybe He has a bad sense of humor.

Born into a modern family, I grew up in a condition where everything can be explained by facts, research and evidence. A condition in which a condition is observed, weighed and sought a solution clearly. Dad while still alive, was a professor who taught at a college in Yogyakarta, was a great father. Despite the matter of giving the name, he was nothing less than very great to me. As an only child, I received all the attention, although a lot of time was spent on various types of seminars and lectures. From him I learned Javanese culture which is his favorite thing. And all my knowledge of the various languages that I spoke at the age of 12, the basis of martial arts and survival techniques in the wild was his most treasured legacy.

"Love nature and she'll love you much more than you love her, Wan" she said, teaching me how to string a noose when I was 9.

Memories that never disappeared from memory, even though it has been almost 10 years since the incident. My father left me when I was 13, a year after my mother's departure. The gentle and kind little lady left us, and Dad could not deny that she was taking the rest of her life with him. Even a year after Mom died, Dad could not continue life again and ended it with a swollen liver and rupture of blood vessels in the brain.

And all of a sudden, I was alone...

And this is where it all starts...

I was 9 when it all started. The whispers that I heard often diverted my attention from whatever I was doing at the time. The shadow that flashed as fast as lightning, as if trying to attract attention, but blurred when I tried to see it again.

"That's because of the reflection of the image of the last object recorded by the brain, Wan. Don't confuse you too much. Try to concentrate more" said Dad at the time.

And that's what I'm doing...

The result is even annoying. With my own consciousness, I began to hunt for various reading books about concentration and follow the instructions written in those books. Dad, who always supported my desire to learn, helped by giving me great books to read. Which quickly, helped refine my concentration to a new level.

Surprise?!!

"Alright, Kay. Embrace it. That's your grace. I know how you feel. Mommy can understand. Although I can't see or hear it, and I don't like it, but I'll always be there for you... "

Mother's advice and comfort words are always heard when the condition has begun to be unbearable. I used to sing out loud to block out all that noise, if Dad wasn't home, of course.

"They'll work harder if you don't learn to listen. You're special, son."

Huh, if special means the same as having trouble sleeping and seeing things that are invisible to others, mending I become ordinary, I grumbled in my heart.

Well, I don't want to argue with Mom. That gentle woman is everything after Dad, to me. All the love in the world is not enough to change their love. Until finally that day came...

A drunk driver in his new car snatches the love and whereabouts of both of us. Dad, who can't afford to lose Mom, starts not paying attention to anything but Mom's picture. Sitting alone in a reading lamp, with a picture of Mom in her hand. There was no disregard for the coming darkness or the rising dawn, and slowly, I paid no heed to anything else. The regrettable thing is, I didn't get my heart to tell Dad how Mom always stood next to her chair every day. How Mom tearfully saw her husband abandon everything. And how that look penetrated my soul, to the pain of it. A look that seemed to whisper a wish to me..

"Kay, I know you can hear Mom, son. Tell your father to stop torturing himself like this..."

"Kay, start everything, so that you can calm down and go home to God..."

In tears, I was always unable to convey all of my mother's wishes to Dad. I could only get stuck in the corner of the room, when I came back I found the house in a dark condition, and Dad just sat on the chair with a picture of mother in his hand, as on various previous occasions.

My happy home is shrouded in gloom and gloom. I began to feel unable to step foot into the house. Until it finally happened.

Mother, unable to see her heart break even longer, decided to try to show herself to Father. Mother's wishes are simple, but it seems too heavy for Dad. In his shock, his already weak organs, were no longer able to withstand it all.

And finally, I was alone, without the love of them both.

Like I said in the beginning, how life turns out to be just a comedy story that is not funny...

Mother fussed, kept yelling and scolding me, thinking of me as an unfilial child, who would not even help to convey her request and look after my father.

And Dad?

He remained chained to the chair with a picture of Mom in his hand. Only this time, he always looked at me with a sad face and gaze. The look he always gave when he realized he had made a big mistake.

And if you think Dad and Mom's spirits can communicate with each other, you're wrong...

They are trapped by the nature of their own desires without being able to do anything.

Truly a masterpiece of the Creator...

I finally couldn't stay in that house any longer. The 2-page letter I wrote in duplicate, I left it on Dad's desk, right next to the chair where every time he took a picture of Mom.

The letter containing my apology, the unfilial son who was unable to do anything with the abilities I had..

I'm sorry, Dad, Mom... I'm goin...