Andara's Revenge
Deepest Regrets

🎵 Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen. 🎵

🎵 Listen to the cover version of Randy Coleman or John Adams. Heuhe. ⁇ ️

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Retaliation. What the hell is there to gain from revenge? Feeling relieved? Contentment? The pleasure of having the person who hurt us get more torment and pain than he is given?

He's confessing. In the past, he was satisfied with all that. Satisfied to see Buana restless. It's good to see Buana shaving. Relieved to know that Buana still has the same feelings as him. However, it turns out that there is pain tucked away knowing how he could bear to hurt a loved one. He also felt the same pain when he saw a loved one in pain from his own hands. And regret is at the end, not being able to change all of it to the point of crying blood.

For that, Andara could not plan any retaliation to Rossa. No matter how bad Rossa is, she was once in love with that girl. Rossa and Natha are his best friends and brothers in Jakarta. Exceeding the brother he had. Rossa has been present in sad times and difficult. Rossa is present as she builds a new world, away from family. Rossa once gave his shoulder as a foundation leaning Andara. He knew, in essence, that Rossa was loving. It was vengeance that made Rossa so evil.

You don't want to be haunted by regrets anymore if he replies to Rossa. Consider all the kindness Rossa ever paid for with an apology. He forgives Rossa and lets the wonders of the world go. He just wants Rossa to wake up and stop, because regret is always behind. Like him who was confined to that stifling feeling every time he saw Kaluna's face. 

It was hard to regret. He saw both hands raised. His hands are already dirty with self-harm, Buana and Kin. How many more are saddened by his vengeance? The people affected by his actions?

Is this the real life?

Is this just fantasy?

Caught in a landslide

Escape from reality

You draw a lot of oxygen while hugging your knees. Why the hell did he think of retaliating Buana? If only he hadn't retaliated, it probably wouldn't have been like this. Andara looked up while leaning against the iron skeleton that was looking up. Rough cement becomes a seat. The sky in front of him looked clean in bright blue. The wind that was blowing lightly brushed her hair. The phone next to the bag is still tuning the recording of songs by Buana's cover. Down there, the badminton court looks small. Some heads that pass through the middle of the field are as big as fists only. It's not a real rooftop, it's an abandoned fourth floor. No one ascended here because the access stairs on the third floor were closed, but Andara and a few legal children knew the safe path to get here.

The open your eyes

Look up to the skies and see

I'm just a poor boy

I need no sympathy

Andara felt that she had reached the end of the journey with a self that was not intact, Buana was not there, Kin was not with her. He has no friends because the word friend has not been valid since Rossa came last time. He also chooses not to communicate much with Natha because the girl also sneered at him during the Buana opname.

Nothing good in his life. His college values are destroyed. The quality of broadcasts also declined drastically and became frequently scolded. He has no hope anymore. When you wake up from sleep, you can only curse yourself why it is still alive to this day.

Because I'm easy come, easy go,

Little high, little low,

Any way the wind blows

doesn't really matter to me, to me

He wants to end it all. If he could, he would not have been born. Andara's view was empty, regretting her who was already alive.

Die. 

Andara just wants to die. The desire to finish life by exploding in the air, drowning in the ocean, or embedded in the earth's crust also feels difficult, because at this time, he is on land.

Mama, just killed a man

Put a gun against his head

Pulled my trigger, now he's dead

The air is good. Not hot, not raining. The sky started to get a little cloudy, bringing a fresh breeze that was supportive enough for the execution of the death wish. Will all regrets be lost by death?

Mama, life has just been

But now I've gone and grown it all away

Buana's voice still flowed, slashing his longing. You put pen and book on the bag. Last night, he had written down a will in a thin book taken back from Buana's closet. It says there that he is responsible for everything and the events that will happen are purely his own will.

Mama, ooh

Didn't mean to make you cry

If I'm not back again this time tomorrow

Carry on, carry on

If nothing really matters

Dear, Mom, Fisting, Mom. See you soon. He added at the end of the letter and stood up, docked to the edge of the building. He closed his eyes while enjoying the gust of wind for the last time. Inwardly, you apologized once again for all the mistakes that had occurred. Once he jumps up then everything will be done already.

Too late, my time has come

Sends shivers down my spine

Body's aching all the time

Goodbye everybody, I've got to go

Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth

A drop of her tears fell. When she meets Buana later, she will hug the man as hard as she can. I want to be able to tell a lot. Want to be able to chat and hear all the stories of Buana that was once often ignored. Want to tell her feelings to the guy that she was in love and still in love. Must be Buana smiling prestige hearing that. Ah, he longs to see the smile selling expensive typical Buana Universe.

Mama, ooh

I don't want to die

I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all

Andara opened her eyes. He will land on the badminton court with immeasurable form and meet with the mama, Opung and Buana soon. He's got intentions. Death was a way out for him so Andara immediately stretched out his hand, about to fly.

However, instead of reaching the badminton court, his body fell backwards, in rough pebbled cement. Andara heard the screeches she recognized. "Ses! What do you want? You can fall!"

Andara grimacing. His back hurt and he sat up. "Why pull me?! I really want to jump!"

"Wildamah! I'm crazy, I want to die, '" sobbed Andara howled. "Why? It's none of your business, is it? There go!"

Expelled like that, Vina was flabbergasted. The girl looked at the face of Andara who was covered in tears and then fell silent. "Sori," he hisses tried to understand the situation and let Andara cry to satisfaction. The girl just let out a sound back when she saw Andara had shrunk in tears. "Ra, relax, Ra. Why would you jump?" ask Vina later.

Andara gripped her knees while hiding her face in between it. "It's all ruined, Vin. Everything was. Buana, I, Kin. I'm cause. I made Buana like that. I'm a big idiot for Ocha tools. I don't know where else to face it all. I'm tired of dying. Let me just die."

Vina again pulled Andara's hand and asked her to sit down when Andara wanted to get up. "Tell until you try."

Andara jerks Vina's hand. "What else would you like to report? My broadcast is not good? My value is a fire while there are even people who have arranged thesis?! And I still have to repeat the course that my dog grades C-D-E just. I don't have any good, can't be copied ..."

Vina's hand again clasped Andara's arm, not letting Andara step. 

"Depart, Vin! People like me are just menguh-uhin the world, make a cringe. Ngerepotin. Make people hurt. I am the trash of society. I'd rather die. Don't stop me." His steps were again blocked by Vina. "Lo's side, Vin."

Vina raised both hands to block Andara. The girl shook her head. "Now I ask. If you jump in there, you're dead?" tymphal Vina's. "What if there are you still living with the condition of the body being crushed? Will it continue to hurt a thousand times more than today? You'll be in a reluctant life position, even dying is difficult."

Andara's body stiffened hearing Vina's speech. His eyes flickered, trying to digest the sentence. Vina came closer.

"Bec... Hear me. I don't know what your problem is with Buana or who you said it was. But to die Buana, it's not your fault, Ra," said Vina as she clasped Andara's shoulder, keeping her away from the edge of the building.

"God's life, soul mate, death, and birth are God's authority. It was written from the sonna before we existed. That's also with Buana, he died yesterday because his destiny was indeed dead. Let's say, he wasn't in an accident. If it was his fate to die, sit down or sleep again, he would still die. If his fate is not dead, you jump from here also live. Even what I heard from yesterday's lecture, the man was given pain for the evildoers. That's also Buana. May the pain and the accident be yesterday, God take away all the sins of that man. And once again, Buana's death is not your fault."

You're sobbing, falling to your knees. "Gue's tired, Vin. Tired of regrets, tired of chasing everything."

"Gue understands, but there's nothing you need to pursue. Let them already thesis and we are still busy repeating the course. People's paths are different? No need to be together. You do not need to be jealous see friends who are longer thesis. They are even supposed to be the same as you, because you already have work experience even though you are still a student. If you feel tired, rest, Ra. Take your time."

Andara rubbed the origin of her flooded face and sat down, unmoving. Looking at the sky with a bright view. "Gue feels guilty about Buana, she must hate me."

Vina took a deep breath, trying not to cry. He sat down cross-legged beside Andara who was beginning to calm down. "When you disappear first, Buana looks very panicked looking lo. If he knows, I'm absent, he asks like an interrogation. I'm sure your man is very fond of you. He cannot hate the same. Now that you have to do it, don't be sad, he can be sad later."

"Where can the dead see?"

"could. I can't really explain it from the side of the postulate, anyway. But, he said, there are spirits who are given permission to see the condition of the people closest to him. Lo shadowin, if Buana was given permission to see the news lo and he saw you want to jump. How's it?"

Andara is back. Vina then looked. "It's actually my secret, but I'm open to you."

The girl smiled softly and looked back at the sky that seemed close. "You two are couple goals for me. If you're the same guy you've talked about music that's really funny. Especially if it's a toyor-toyoran, like what, huh? Like dating a friend, good so look at it. Don't wear jaim, what it is. You don't realize I'm paying attention, do you?"

Andara shakes. He did not pay much attention around because on average only a spiteful look led to him and Buana.

"Lo's own role model I know, Ra. Every time I feel tired because of work while studying continue to want to give up, just as I see you, like what, yes... I want to find a friend who knows. Kayak ngerasa not alone so the person who is afraid of college must be part-time money. I mete out very streets all of them, not to mention sometimes clashing and having to sacrifice one. Especially if there are tasks that must be done by a group. Relax, Ra. I'm also paying for this semester."

All this time, between him and Vina had never discussed things too deeply. Andara was quite shocked to hear all of Vina's confessions, just now. "Why follow me?"

"Well, that. I saw it from below, you're here. I think you want to smoke. Just so bad again, want to ask for a stick. Uh, look instead you want to jump. Yeah, gils! It was enough yesterday-yesterday to be a witness Buana, do not let me be a second witness. For a long time I could be suspected Polda Metro Jaya, continue to be banned and can not get out SKCK."

"But lo, ye!" sumpul Andara sounded sad. "Gue didn't bring a cigarette. I want to stop smoking. Cigarettes are not healthy."

Vina snorted then chuckled mockingly. "Okay, smoking is not healthy," said the girl pushed Andara's head slowly, "but want to jump from the top floor more unhealthy, oon!"

Andara began to pull lips, laughing at the stupidity. Vina pulled her hand, after the girl helped fill the bag.

"If so we look for chocolate the same as ice cream, yes. The plug is good too. Just grab us a snack along the way. I'm the one who's buying."

"Do I look very poor?" timpal Andara melengos but continue to follow Vina's steps through the secret path.

They had gone down the emergency stairs and down the place filled with unused goods. There were piles of used tables and benches to seal the secret passageway. "No afdol lo yes if not loudkas? I just got a bonus a month salary. It's good to make the nasakom's IP."

"How much is IP?" Andara wants to know. He looked at Vina's back. He had indeed just lost a friend, but for some reason, he could still trust Vina.

"1.85," Vina lightly replied as she turned left and right. Making sure that no one saw them present from the road that was closed then after being in the third floor corridor, the road was relaxed again.

"I swear to you?" reply Andara arched a smile, observing Vina's behavior earlier.

Vina stopped and looked over. "If I'm 4, you just told me to take the oaths. IP 1 comma how do you make an oath?! There is no benefit I lied. How much is it?"

"1.95."

"Yeah, elah. Though I'm absent, but higher IP lo!" sulk Vina while sneering.

"The percent is only 10, Vin. There are still tasks, UTS same UAS. Could my UAS be higher than you?" andara explained.

"Yes, anyway. You are given the same value Prof. Taufik?"

"E" replied Andara grimacingly. Therefore also the overall GPA is freefall.

"Costal. I got a D. Why, huh?"

Their conversation came to a halt as the person being talked about was in the front, a few meters away. Andara chose to bow respectfully, while Vina greeted the lecturer as she passed by. "Just, Prof."

"Eh, Vina, Andara," said Prof. Taufik was full of authority while nodding his head. "Where? When will I repeat my course again?"

Vina tried to try to smile even though what came out was just a stiff ringing. The girl stammered, not expecting to be known by name.

"If later repeat my class again, make sure never to be caught absent, yes," said the old man as he passed by leisurely.

Vina and Andara could only look at each other with eyes that were about to come out, mouth open and something that was stuffing in the throat.

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Hey there! Long time ago updates? 😆

I don't know getting to the end, my thumb is heavy, Comrade. 😣

Forgive the servant who missed this yes. 😘