Beans Forgot the Skin
Chapter 5 Jealousy

POV Rudy

The pain I can endure but jealousy I can't hide. There's bleeding in my heart. Three years have passed but my love instead of dying grew and I only realized that he was my soul mate, if said the son of soulmate slang. The less courage there is to open your heart to another woman. After the meeting my love was more passionate, there was a miss that fused, he was more beautiful and graceful added mature, indeed really a stupid man. In my heart I cursed all my foolishness.

I once met my ex-Mama-in-law and asked her to persuade Tiara to forgive my mistakes.

"Ma, I'm sorry Ma, now I realize that Tiara means so much to my life. Mama please persuade Tiara to accept me again," I said and did not feel my eyes dewy.

My mother-in-law looks at me pity.

"Rud, I'm sorry Mama, you know that Tiara's nature is firm and firm, if she has made a decision that no one can change her, remember when you didn't approve of your relationship, she still insists on fighting for her love, she is the strict type of woman, your fault is wasting it first," said Mama-in-law I firmly.

"I'm sorry Rudi Ma, I'm so sorry, I was stupid Ma wasted a woman as great as him" I said stammering. Without feeling my tears flowing already.

"Rud, ask Allah SWT to soften his heart, Tiara from childhood so very nature, nurun Papa, but this is even harder, be patient, son, may be a lesson of all that has happened," said gently.

Mama patted me on the shoulder, her eyes glazed over, the pain was still seeping into my chest, it was so tight.

"Ma, there seems to be no hope, he has chosen Revan Ma, indeed I am nothing compared to Revan, he has everything, I am a lousy man," I said.

"Rud, try to be sincere and open your heart to other women, maybe your soul mate with Tiara only up to here, but if God has willed anything can still happen Son, move on, move on, out there are still many better women than Tiara Mama's son, Rud, do not punish yourself in such a way, the future is still long," he explained at length.

I'm still digesting word for word from the mother who gave birth to the woman I love so much, although he used to dislike me but lately he showed me a caring attitude that looks very bad with this separation.

I try to make my heart work again, for three years living my own life, I can buy Tiara's dream house, a minimalist style house that has a spacious garden, a mini swimming pool, and a, and the orchards behind the house, next to and in front of the house colorful flowers like Tiara's dream, there was a swing in the side garden, I sat down in tears.

"Badly, this is our dream home, your dream has been realized, baby. Beautiful garden, swing, mini pool, all I've made for you, but you're not mine anymore, in a week you'll be someone else's, Tiara's claustrophobic this dear, dear, I can't really move on from you, baby," in my heart whispered. Lord how I spent the rest of my life without my soul mate. Show me the way, Lord.

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Tiara's wedding was very festive, all the invited guests were happy except me, my heart was crying to see her smiling happily and rejoicing with her love, I sat in the corner of that luxurious and festive room. Tiara uses a red screen with simple makeup, Revan uses a black blezer and my son Radit uses a blezer in line with Revan, really a harmonious family. I'm just a pathetic spectator.

I enjoyed my solitude and suddenly I cried. Yes during the breakup with that woman I really have become a woman, taste buds, whiny and melancholy, annoying. Suddenly someone slapped my shoulder.

"Hi, Mr. Rudi, come too yes," he said kindly.

"Whoa, sorry I don't know," I said confusedly.

"I'm Mira, Mr.'s office friend but another revision, I'm the new son of Pak, one division is the same Revan," he said enthusiastically.

"O, I'm sorry I don't know" I said kindly.

"It's okay, sir's acquaintance," extended his hand and mentioned his name.

"Mira Adelia" he said.

"Rudi Anggara."

Actually I am lazy to talk to women, for the last three years I have enjoyed my solitude, like tonight I want to enjoy my pain. But let this woman accompany me, after all I'm not like the pitiful man in front

Tiara and Revan.

Suddenly Radit approached me.

"Pa, look Mama, look for Pa, why not Papa who is with Mama why om Revan, whether Papa will also be with this Aunt," said the 8-year-old son was funny.

Mira blushed in embarrassment, the long-haired woman beside me blushing as Radit pointed out that she was his mother's replacement.

"Radit's a kid, Radit doesn't know, yet" I said softly.

"Radit confused Pa, but Radit seneng anyway had two Mama and two Papa. Cool, is my Aunt a replacement for my mom, yes" he told Mira, the girl I just met.

Mira just smiled kindly. The woman had dimples and her face was very auspicious.

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On the sidelines of the party, there were the voices of female singers and male singers singing Tiara's favorite song, a song performed by Lesty and Pildan.

I will love you until I call

Always with you my promise to my Lord

I already love you so much

I can't afford to be separated from you

My lover

The day keeps changing I'm afraid you're gone

You have I will never leave again

The wheel of life spins like grief sometimes

As long as you are with me, Kurela tuk receives

Thank you for the love for all the feelings

May you be together more than anything.

The song made me shed tears, I saw Tiara also wiping away her tears, because I saw her rubbing her eyes. We used to sing that song together. That's Tiara's favorite song, right now that song, that song's lyrics I can't make. I can't like being together, I wasn't tempted but after success and bear I forgot my faithful promise to the woman who had struggled from scratch. My heart was burning as if I was coming home and crying in the corner. My heart is crumpled.

Finally I also experienced the two brides, Mira tailed behind me, as if she was my partner, Tiara looked at me sharply, her eyes so raining on the heart. Is he jealous.

"Congratulations Van, I'll take Tiara and Radit to you" I told Revan.

"Ready bro."

"Congratulations yes," I said softly. I actually wanted to feel like I was holding her one last time, but there was fear and pain. My hands are cold as ice.

"Makasih Mas, hopefully soon follow ya Mas," he said.

"Mir, what are you going home" I said softly.

"So Pak's entourage, but I was left by Pak's entourage, so I followed Mr. Trus, wanted to take home sir," he said shyly.

"If I go home, how do you take a taxi?" my word. My eyes glanced at his lowered face.

"If so, then I've climbed a bully sir." His eyes glanced at me.

"Yes, let me take it with you, it's not good girls ride ojol night-night, but memenin I drink ya."

"Drink what sir, I'm in the car only sir," he said softly.

"Drinking in my house, can memenin, still at 9 o'clock too, if diem means want," said I softly.

Kulirik the woman beside me who is still confused. I opened the car door to let Mira in. I drove my car casually I played soft songs. Mira was silent.

"Mir, you already have a girlfriend," I asked to melt the atmosphere.

"Not yet sir" he replied timidly.

"Good," I said flatly.

Arriving at my house I let Mira in.

"Temenin me yes Mir, my heart is again messed up," I said.

The woman was just silent still, I pulled her hand and I felt a sense of warmth that spread. Maybe because it has been 3 years of living without the touch of a woman, my heart rumbles.

"Mir, it's okay I drink yes, I'm very sad, you just think of your own house, if you want the fruit to take in the refrigerator, eleven I take you, where you live, where, same parent or same brother," I said softly.

"I'm ngekost sir" he replied softly.

"Don't call Sir, call Mas aja or Bang can also."

"O, that's it sir."

"Tok Sir again."

"O, yes, my mother."

When he called me Mas, there was a warm feeling in this heart, there was a longing for that name.

I saw the woman sleeping on the couch, I didn't wake her up, I drank my head too much. I clenched the young woman's body, headed for the guest room, when I got to the bed, I saw the face change like Tiara's. I pecked his forehead, his soft lips, down his neck. Until I finally did something wrong. Although there was a fight from Mira, but because the desire had erupted finally the match was not able to stop my passionate desire.

Tiara I miss you so much, I cling to that woman's body, she cries.

"Mas, I'm not Tiara Mas."

I heard Isak crying

"Mas, why do this to me Mas," he said stammeringly.

"I'm sorry, Mir. But why don't you refuse and enjoy everything" I said.

"Mas have you Mas," he said softly. While crying.

I saw a lot of blood, Mira's still a virgin. I covered her innocent body without clothes, actually she was trying to reject me, but because my desire had peaked I could not control my lust.

"I'm sorry Mir. I'm afraid, all because of the influence of alcohol, I'm sorry, I will be responsible, I will marry you, even if you want to marry a widower of one child like me," I said.

I hugged the body of that woman who was still crying on the side of the bed, I raped this woman. He resigned when I embraced his body, unconscious my hands guerrilla again, my lips are leaning again on his lips, getting hotter and more thrilling, Mira who is still innocent makes me anxious, and I am still angry, right now I'm completely aware of doing something I haven't done in a long time, I gently cling to the woman's body and I don't want to hurt her because it's her first experience. The woman only resigned when my lips softly poked her neck, a very innocent woman.

All the longings and forbidden desires were united in bed, I actually spent time with a foreign woman I had just met, without us knowing we had spent one night to have that illicit relationship. Once satisfied I pecked his forehead many times.

"Mir, thank you, I'll marry you" I said softly in her ear.

He was ashamed and buried his face in my field, I could feel the breath that warmed me. I will open my heart to this woman, I will embrace her body and we will fall asleep in the same bed.

I did it soberly up to three times, really a lame widower. My little heart mocked. The woman I saw was exhausted, fast asleep, I saw her pure white face like marble falling asleep in my arms. I don't think about what I've done.

You stupid man, why do you stain girls people, pathetic. My heart mocked me again. I took my pillow and covered my ears. All the sadness left behind by Tiara made my brain unable to think sanely. Let what happens happen.

I closed my eyes even though Tiara's face was mocking me. But yes, what can make it all happen. I didn't go to the office this morning because of the weekend. I saw Mira's face was still exhausted, I let her fall asleep, I prepared breakfast for her.

"Hi'm awake, tired yes, I'm sorry Mir, your shirt is torn, wear my shirt yes, take a shower and we have breakfast yes, I'll be a little afternoon I take you home," I said softly.

He just lowered his head and grabbed the blood red towel I gave him along with the new toothbrush.

"There's Mir's bathroom." I pointed to the room tucked away near the main room.

Kulirik woman who just wrapped around a red towel, her long hair wet dyed make my desire peaked again. But I can submit.

After she put on my shirt and shorts added to the sexiness of the woman.

"Eat Mir, we will shop for your clothes, yes" I said softly.

"No need to."

We had breakfast in a bumbling and embarrassed mood. After breakfast is finished. Mira pecked her face in front of the mirror near the family room.Mira's face met red when in front of the glass saw her tie neck full of red-red marks. My goddamn last night.

Curl her body from behind and put my hand on her waist, while I hold her

"I'm sorry Mir, sorry." I stole one kiss on his cheek.

I bought clothes at the store near my house, and then I delivered Mira to her boarding house, I said straight home. Putting my body in bed and the repeated footage of last night made me smile to myself. A sin that is forbidden but so beautiful.

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