Benalu In My House
FORTY SIX

"Why are you quiet, Ri?" asked Jervario while on the way Mentari just silent. His gaze always led to the window, observing the streets that looked crowded creeping because now it showed the clock home for both workers and others.

Yes, this afternoon because Jervario was feeling a little better, he also planned to take Mentari home to his apartment. Initially Mentari refused, especially he knew Jervario was still sick, but Jervario stubbornly forced to take Mentari home. He was finally forced to accept.

"You still think of all my words? You still think I'm a fuss? Just so you know, Ri, everything I say is serious. I didn't brag at all when I said I wanted to make you my wife. My mother's daughter-in-law," said Jervario, but Mentari still looked riveted. He did not budge at all, making Jervario a little worried.

Mentari is thinking about what Jervario has been doing and saying lately, but this time the one who dominates his mind is precisely the request of little Ashadiva before he fell asleep earlier.

"Onty, is Onty the same as Asha?" the Ashadiva chirp suddenly made Mentari who was sitting beside Asha while rubbing the top of her head look at him fixedly.

"Darling dong. If not dear, where would Onty Temenin Asha bobok," said Mentari answered honestly.

"really?" ask Asha again to make sure. The mentari nodded with certainty.

"Really, honey. Why is Asha nanya like that?" ask Mentari wonder.

"If Onty loves Asha, Onty will not be Asha's mother? Asha pingin Onty becomes Asha's mother. Asha wants to have a mother, Onty, but Asha wants Onty, not another," Ashadiva said expectantly making Mentari slightly stunned by the question and statement from the tiny lips of Ashadiva.

"Why should Onty? Where is mami Asha?" Actually, he did not want to ask this, but he was curious. Jeanara never told me about Asha's mother in the least. Yes, they know they are divorced. Because of what, he doesn't know either. And all this time, whether Asha was still communicating with her mother or not.

"Mommy goes a long way, Onty."

"Faraway?"

"Yes. Mommy just likes the phone, but never asked Asha." said Ashadiva with a soft look. "Onty wants to be Asha's mom? Onty does love Asha same as Asha kayak dear Onty so Onty want to be Asha's mom? Papi also loves Onty kok."

Mentari smiled at the last words Asha said. Where does this little girl know that her father loves her?

"Yes? Who said it?"

"Fire himself. Papi kan nanya, Asha pingin have no mami, Asha answered willingly. Keep asking me again like who, Asha answered again like Onty Riri kept Papi smiling like that. Continue to ask again, emang Asha dear to Onty, Asha answered dong, dear to continue the same papi word dong kayak Papi, papi also dear to Onty," said Asha told me so enthusiastically to make Mentari flabbergasted to hear it. "Kan Asha and Papi both love Onty, Onty want to be Asha's mom? Yes, Onty, please!"

"Ri, Kirishima ... "

"Ah, wh-what? You-you're talking to me, Jer?" suhut Mentari. He really didn't hear what Jervario said just now. His concern actually soared considering his conversation with Ashadiva earlier. Every word of Ashadiva was now ringing in his mind, did this man who was beside him really love him?

"What are you daydreaming about?" jervario asked really curious. He even pulled over his car in a place that was quiet enough to make Mentari confused.

"Why did your car stop here?" ask Mentari a little bit of a wave.

Jervario breathed out a little rough, then glanced at the woman sitting beside him. Jervario removed the seat belt that encircled her body, then slightly twisted the body to be able to face the Mentari.

"What do you want?"

"Ri, what the hell are you doing? How from a long time ago kayak, restless, daydreaming, what bothers your mind? Is it because of my words that you've always thought of as ngawur?" cecar Jervario but Mentari just fell silent, confused to answer what.

Then Jervario leaned forward to make Mentari reflect back his body to hit the car door.

"Jer, you want ... "

"I just want to let go of your seat belt, so we can talk freely!" cut Jervario while grabbing the seat belt on Mentari's body and releasing it.

"But why talk here? I don't think there's anywhere else" Mentari protested grumbling. But he let what Jervario wanted to do.

"I'm the kind of guy who's lazy to procrastinate on work including solving our problems."

"We have a problem?"

"There's."

"What?"

Mentari again silenced. He doesn't know what to answer.

"Why silence?"

The mentari still does not budge.

"Is it that hard to believe everything I say?"

"Very hard. You know what the reason is."

"But Ri, everything I said was earnest. I really wish you'd be my wife, my life partner."

"But I'm not."

"Why? Explain the reason!" pinta Jervario's.

The sun takes a deep breath and then exhales it. He stared fixedly at the Netra Jervario who had also been looking at him warmly.

"Jer, I'm sure you know the reason for my divorce. I'm barren, I can't have children and I'm not the perfect woman who deserves to be your wife. My husband secretly cheated on me just because I couldn't give any offspring and I didn't want the incident to happen again. I don't want to break back, break my heart, and get divorced again. Therefore, I chose myself. Not wanting to be in a relationship or commitment with anyone. I just want to protect myself, Jer. Maybe if something similar happens again, I could really die, Jer. I will be completely destroyed and unable to get back up" he said with a little stammering. Breath choked. The shadows of the past flashed through his mind. His love for Shandi is dead, but the pain is still in his heart and soul. Sickness is indeed a wound that the ex-husband was incised, so to take a breath, it feels tight.

Jervario understood what Mentari felt, he then grasped the hand of Mentari and kissed it making the eyes of the wet Mentari blink because of what Jervario just did.

"Ri, believe me, I don't mind that. I accept all your advantages and disadvantages. After all, don't we already have Asha? Asha will be your son too, isn't that fun. Thank goodness God works miracles and you can conceive our child, but if we don't, we already have Asha, we are grateful for what God has given us. I'm not gonna sue you to give me a son like your ex-husband and his family have done all this time" Jervario said.

Mentari stared intently at the Netra Jervario. He looks carefully at the net to find lies in every word he said. However, all Mentari saw was earnestness. Jervario seemed so serious in conveying everything that became a burden in his heart and soul.

"What did you say was serious?"

"I've never been this serious about expecting anything."

Mentari was silent again, his net still fixated on this figure before him.

"Why do you want to make me your wife? Do you .. love me?"

Quiescent. Jervario was silent for a moment and then she sighed softly.

"Honestly, I'm not sure how I feel, whether there's love or not. But one thing is for sure, I love you, and I want to be your protector, as well as your companion. I want to keep you safe until death do us part."

"I don't need pity from you" said Mentari flatly. Jervario frowned, confused by the sentence Mentari had just uttered. "From the words you just said, I can draw the conclusion that you're doing this because you feel sorry for me and I don't need that."

"I don't feel sorry for you, Ri, but I do. Don't mistake my words for I seriously want to make you my companion until death do us part. Love matters, I am sure as time goes by, that love will grow by itself. Don't lose love, you're afraid to build a home. Didn't you marry for love but look at the end of it? Not all marriages based on the word love can end happily ending. What we need is a commitment to trust each other, to be faithful, and to take care of each other, God willing, our household will be safe, mawadah, and warohmah. Please believe me, Ri. So how, Ri, do you want to marry me?"

The sun bowed while looking at the hand that was still holding his hand. It feels warm and comfortable. Could it be that he could re-open his heart to this man before him? Can he trust this man? Can he live happily while there is no love between them?

Mentari let out a long sigh, then raised his face again, looking fixedly at the male netra who had not averted his eyes since earlier.

"Please give me some time! I ... I'm confused. I ... "

"Don't be too much of a burden on your mind, baby. There is no need to rush," said Jervario with a big smile to make Mentari snort and then glare sharply. "I'll wait for your answer. But, please don't be long!" he said again then immediately released his hand and scrambled Mentari's hair while chuckling, trying to melt the atmosphere that had stiffened.

Mentari. Then Jervario drove back to Mentari's apartment. After arriving in front of the lobby, Mentari also released the seat belt. When Mentari turned his body to open the car door, Jervario suddenly pulled his arm until his face hit Jervario's chest. The fragrance of Jervario's perfume instantly filled his nasal cavity. Then without saying a word, Jervario kissed Mentari's forehead deep and long enough to make Mentari freeze instantly.

"See you tomorrow" said Jervario shortly after pulling her body away. With a racing heart, Mentari immediately went down even without saying goodbye, making Jervario chuckle amusedly to see it.

...***...

...HAPPY READING 🥰🥰🥰...