Brother, I Love You
231. Self-torture

"Assalamu aleikum Daddy !"

"Greetings hallow !"

"What's the matter Dad ?" ask the girl in the school uniform to enter Bilal's room.

"There's something I want to talk about !" bilal answered, he got up from his chair, walked to the sofa, sat down next to his second daughter.

Bilal wrapped one hand around the back of his daughter who was already sitting in the first grade of High School. Bilal then kissed his daughter from the side.

"How are you doing with your mom ?" bilal asked his second daughter.

"Thank God be good Daddy !" answer Annisa.

Bilal nodded his head while smiling." What if I get married again ? does this father's daughter agree ?."

"Dad to marry Mama again ?" enthusiastic Annisa. Annisa sharpened her gaze to Bilal's face with a blissful face.

For five years, her parents were separated. Of course if both parents remarry, they will live one house back, as before. And as a child, that was his dream.

Bilal fell silent, looking at his daughter's face.

Annisa hugged her father tightly, her heart was very happy, because her father was going to marry her mother again. He doesn't have to move house anymore. Sometimes at his father's house, sometimes at his mother's. And Annisa imagines that she can sleep with her Mom and Dad like she used to when they were not divorced. At the age of nine, she was in the fourth grade of Elementary School.

Bilal returned his daughter's embrace, and kissed the head wrapped in a headscarf. Oh my God ! how is this!, how do I convey to my daughter, that I will marry another woman?, not re-marry her mother, Bilal's inner self.

Tettt...! tettt....!

The sound of a bell sign of rest time has rung. Annisa immediately took off her embrace from the father's body.

"Dad ! Annisa went to class first!, love you Daddy !" annisa kissed Bilal's cheeks, then left.

"Later to go home with Daddy !" exclamation Bilal.

"Yes, Yes !" reply Annisa who has come out of her room.

Bilal sighed, his heart in a dilemma, it seemed like his second daughter did not allow him to marry another woman.

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The pesantren

"Why ? any word from Ustadz Bilal ?" susi asked Ustadz Indra her husband. They were walking together back home finished teaching at the pesantren.

"Not yet !" answer Ustadz Indra.

"Does Ustadz Bilal want to refer to his ex-wife again ?" ask Susie again. Susi sighed, pitying her best friend if Ustadz Bilal chose a reference. According to Susi, only Ustadz Bilal was able to knock down the defenses of his best friend Hani. Who fortifies himself strongly, does not want to marry again.

Yes ! maybe his best friend is now okay living alone, because it is still strong and can take care of yourself. What if he is old?, who will take care of his best friend. Hani definitely needs a male figure beside her, or the figure of a child to take care of her later.

"Do not know love!, come on ! walk faster, your husband is hungry" replied Ustadz Indra, pulling his wife's arm to go faster.

"Abi ! just eat his mind, see his stomach is like four months pregnant" said Susi.

"New four months of love, not yet nine months" replied Ustadz Indra smiling.

They enter the house, Susi immediately prepares lunch for her and her husband.

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Ustadz Amar visited Hani's house, and he stepped into their grandfather's house, saying his greetings. Although Hani lives alone, it does not mean there is nothing at all in the house.

In the house, there were several female students, staying to accompany her cousin's sister. Let her brother not be too lonely, and there is also someone to take care of her.

Ustadz Amar knocked on Hani's room door, calling out to him.

"Keep !" call him.

"Wait a minute Bang !" reply Hani from within.

Before long, the door opened from the inside.

"Yes Bang ! what's up ?" ask Hani

Ustadz Amar sharpened his gaze to Hani's pale face." You sick ?" tanyakanya.

Hani opened the door of his room wide, without answering his cousin's question, he put his feet towards the bed, sitting his body there.

Ustadz Amar followed him, sitting next to Hani. Ustadz Amar pressed the back of his hand against Hani's forehead. Checking Hani's body temperature whether it's hot or not.

"Have you taken your medicine ?" tanya Ustadz Amar, it turns out his sister had a little fever.

Hani nodded his head.

"Hani just has a little fever !" reply Hani.

"Follow to my brother's house, you can rest there !" bring Ustadz Amar. It is not quiet to let Hani who is sick again, alone in the house. Even if there are students accompanying him, they must be busy studying.

"Bang Amar is too much!, I'm fine, soon also must have his fever gone after taking the medicine" Hani refused.

Ustadz Amar sighed, although his sister was no longer young, stubborn it did not disappear, still like to argue.

"Marry!, one day you need someone beside you. If you are very old, you need someone to take care of you. Surely later you need someone to love you" said Ustadz Amar.

"Emang Bang Amar bang Ikbal not dear to Hani ?" hani asked, gulping down her saliva trudging.

"Of course we love you!, and what if Bang Ikbal and I were called by God first ?" answer Amar, then ask.

Hani fell silent and turned his gaze to the face of Ustadz Amar who was also looking at him. Hani's gaze was shaded, then lowered. Now that he was alone, everyone had already left him. Neither Uminya, his second uncle-in-law, were all gone, except Ustadz Ikbal and Ustadz Amar.

Ustadz Amar rubbed Hani's head, "you've lived alone for a long time. It's not good to torture yourself like that. The woman who lived in the house died her husband, may marry again. Don't you want to have your own child ?" said gently.

Hani shed her tears, because she could not bear to endure her sadness. He really wanted to have his own child. But to start a new life with another man, not an easy thing for Hani, I don't know ?.

"Hani is comfortable with Hani's life now Bang !" isak Hani's.

It is a lie if he admits to being comfortable living alone, after he has lived a married life. He's also a regular human being, having a desire to make love again. And must have a happy family, in which there is the presence of children. Hani Jiga certainly needs the back of his heart, where he tells stories and pits every thing in nature every day.

"Open your heart back to marriage. Because marriage is also worship !" say Ustadz Amar again.

Ustadz Amar stretched out his hand, wiping away the tears flowing down Hani's cheek." Abi will continue to feel guilty, if you continue to punish yourself like this. Abi's spirit can not calm down, see you torture yourself" he said again.

Hani just silently cried sobbing listening to his brother's words.

"Abang go first, later tonight brother will pick you up to sleep at brother's house" said Ustadz Amar.

Ustadz Amar stood beside Hani. He stroked Hani's head and left.

After Ustadz Amar died, Hani laid his body on the bed, crying curled up to hold his chest. It hurts, it hurts so much. Hani did not know what the cause of the pain in his chest was. It felt as if a heavy burden had been falling on him for decades.

Marry again ! which man would marry a widow like her ?. What's more now his age is also no longer young. Who would propose to him, considering that none of the men had come in during this time. I don't know ? maybe God helped her to keep her heart from falling in love again, as she wanted. Or maybe because he lives in a prsantren neighborhood, and very rarely comes out. And when he was young, Hani spent more time in the dormitory princess, joined the santri, to drive out his sorrow. Or rather hide yourself from your sight adam.

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"Dad ! when are you planning to propose to Mama again ?" annisa asked Bilal who was busy driving beside her. Now they're on their way home to school.

Bilal sighed, one hand raised rubbing his daughter's head from behind. Bilal was confused as to how to explain it to his daughter, if he was going to marry another woman. His statement earlier that was going to get married, it turned out that the wrong response was on his daughter. The daughter thought she would be referring to Aqeela.

"Anna !" call Bilal soft. Bilal sighed again." I'll marry another woman dear!, not your mother !" bilal said hesitantly.

Bilal was worried that his daughter would not accept him, who ended up raging at him. Remembering, her daughter was very loud, just like her childhood self.

Annisa shook her head with glassy eyes. He did not want his father to marry another woman. He wants his father back with his mother. During this time he really hopes, Father and Mother can return together, so that he does not need to go back and forth to the house of his parents alternately.

"Why Well ?" Just make Annisa feel choked when she says that.

Bilal stopped his vehicle on the side of the road to see his daughter crying. Bilal pulls his daughter into his arms, rubbing a swipe of her back.

"After you grow up, you will definitely understand Daddy !. Don't be upset or upset by your current decision. You know, you're very upset about Dad's divorce with your mom. But back to God's destiny, son. Maybe your Mom and Dad's soul mate got there!" obviously Bilal.

"but Annisa wants Daddy and Mama to be together again !. Why do you and Mom not understand Annisa ?. Why should Annisa understand Daddy and Mama ?" ask Annisa.

Bilal fell silent, unable to answer his daughter's question. Why didn't his wife think about their daughter's feelings when filing for divorce ?. Yes ! Bilal had wanted to invite his wife Aqeela. But after three nights of praying Istikharoh. Bilal feels his feelings are more dominant to Hani. He thought it was the answer to his prayer from God.

"Although Dad and your mother are not together anymore. We still love you dear!, our affection does not change or decrease in the least. You are still our favorite daughter, the second brother Yasmin" Bilal persuaded.

"But Annisa can't sleep with Mama's father anymore, after Dad's same mama separated !" Annisa manatap shady face Bilal.

"After Dad married again, Annisa can sleep with Dad and Dad's wife..

"But Annisa can't sleep with Mama and Mama's new husband !" cut Annisa off directly.

Bilal fell silent, turning his gaze to the face of his long-time daughter.

"Daughter Daddy's smart !" praise Bilal and smile at Annisa.

"Why are you smiling !" cetus Annisa pouting.

"Daughter Father's color is smart, Daddy's daughter knows which ones can't !" bilal pulled his daughter's nose.

"Annisa doesn't want me to marry another woman ! point !" annisa said pouting, staring at her father's dislike.

Bilal sighed, then drove his vehicle back. Today Bilal will take his daughter home. Since it had been three days, his daughter was with his ex-wife Aqeela.

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