D. Deirsh & Depression
The Part 15

..."Lordy! Allow me to surrender."...

..._Deirsh_'s chat...

       The sound of heavy rain disguised Dei's sobbing. The incident that befell him made him really so devastated, after his lover left for eternity his father went because of his mistake.

       Now Dei just sits limp in his room that is so dark, even seeing the situation was so very concerned. After his father's funeral Dei just locked himself in his room, the call of his best friend and aunt he always ignored.

       Dei raised his head, looking at the raindrops so heavy from the bedroom window. "Sorry Dei, yeah."

...~~~...

       "Dey! This is auntie" said Erin, who kept knocking on Dei's door.

       When Erin tried to knock again, the door opened with the owner of the room that was in front of her now.

       "Dei" said Erin, who immediately embraced her nephew.

       "I'm sorry, if Dei always cares about you," Dei said softly.

       Erin looked at Dei. "Tante knows you need time for this, and now you have to be sincere...."

       Dei immediately nodded, right said his aunt. Now he must be strong and sincere in his destiny.

       "Yes now we eat together, yes, Mama you seem to have been eaten." Take Erin who was immediately replied with a smile by Dei.

       Dei walked to the dining table where his mother was there, when Dei wanted to sit down how shocked he was to see her leave without talking to him.

       Erin who had just arrived with a few food plates only saw Dei himself at the table.

       "Your mom where Dei is!" erin asked which made Dei instantly come to a realization from her mind.

       "Mama went straight to the room" Dei replied briefly.

       Erin who felt strange just looked at her brother's room and looked back at Dei. "Judah we have, maybe your mom will take a break."

       Dei just nodded his head, and immediately switched with his breakfast. While enjoying their breakfast, Dei and Erin immediately turned their eyes to Carles who had just come out of his room.

       Dei who wanted to say hello to his brother was immediately standing up to his brother.

       "Don't you have breakfast?" Ask Dei.

       After asking, Dei's expression instantly changed, there was no answer from his brother that even Carles just left without looking at his sister in the slightest. No tears fell on Dei's cheek, he immediately ran towards his room.

       Seeing the incident Erin also immediately approached Dei who looked so sad.

       "Dei, open Dei's door." Call Erin anxiously while knocking on the room door.

...~~~...

       "Don't go bang! Don't stay in Dei with Mama hiks...." The cry broke, Dei begged her brother not to leave them.

       Despite continuing to plead with her already hoarse voice, Carles did not care. He just focused on taking all his clothes to the bottom.

       "Bang hiks.. please bang! Pity mom if brother leaves."

       Carles put all his clothes in the bag. He turned around, approaching his sister who was begging while crying.

       "Lo is selfish" Carles said, leaving Dei speechless.

       "If you're not selfish, I'll STILL BE WITH US...." Say Carles again with a little snapping at the end.

       Back then Dei was really scared to see her, even Dei just lowered his head without seeing Carles's face.

       Carles grasped both of Dei's shoulders, so that his sister stood right in front of his brother. Dei fell silent while enduring the pain on both of his shoulders.

       "After you've ruined all this, you want me to stay!" carles said with a little smirk on his face.

       "Lo is selfish... YOU'RE SELFISH." Snapped Carles while pushing Dei down.

       Carles immediately left his sister sitting on the floor with fear. Dei slowly hugged himself and hid his face, until the cry returned.

       After the brother left the house Dela always reduced herself in her room, Dei who did not have the heart to see her Mama like that always tried to be on her side. Until a remark appeared made Dei feel completely guilty.

       "If you recede that night," said Dela Suddenly and made her son speechless.

       "If you hadn't left that night,"

       "If you obey what your father, mother and brother say,"

       "Definitely... Th-your father is still alive, hyks." The crying of Dela broke again.

       As for Dei, he fell silent at what his mother said. An ANDAI word was like making himself so very guilty, Dei's tears flowing past his smooth cheeks. Dei was still silent to be able to accept his mother's sentence in his mind. Even if he could say it too. If that time could be repeated, there would be no loss a second time.

       Until Dei realized when he heard the sobs of his mother, Dei tried to approach his mother.

       "Ma! Sorry Dei, please forgive Dei hiks.." Dei said so regretfully.

       "Please stay with mama, mama still wants to be alone," said Dela made Dei a little surprised.

       "Ma...."

       "Please get out."

...~~~...

       The hatred of Mama and her brother made Dei completely depressed, now he was so devastated in his life. His days are always imagined in fear, losing even makes him cry does not stop.

       Dei looked at himself in a mirror, so pale but the face showed a smile. Dei stood up from his seat to the bed, the day was so late that his beautiful eyes were eager to shut.

       Before he actually fell asleep, Dei turned off the lights and left an ornamental lamp to give light to his room. When he was already feeling silent, his eyes slowly closed towards the dreamland.

DORR.....

       A voice built itself, visible sweat droplets slowly drenching his entire body. The sound of a breath made the silence disappear and a calmness now turned so tense.

       Dei looked forward not knowing what he was thinking, the blank made him so terrible. Slowly his hands went to his ears, pressing him so strongly that his eyes closed.

       "Athar persists...."

       "Please hold on for me, I still want to be with you."

       "Don't go! Oh, don't go."

       Dei instantly rose from his place, headed for a drawer and looked for something he seemed to need most now.

       Seen he was very agitated, his hands were so trembling that even his sweat kept dripping. Until an object is successfully held and immediately tried to remove the contents.

       Dei walked over to the table and took a glass of water, looking at his hand for a moment until he tried to put a medicine into his mouth and drank the water he had taken.

       He fell to the floor as he felt better, leaning his head on the edge of the mattress and slowly his eyes closed again. His destiny makes him so not okay.

...~~~...

       The light of the sun has now illuminated one of the rooms with its owner still asleep quietly. Until a warm stroke on his head made his sleep a little disturbed.

       "Daddy's daughter! Let's get up."

       When the voice was heard, the owner of the room immediately woke up. He was so shocked at what he was seeing right now, right in front of him.

       "Yes... This is Dad, Dei why did you just wake up?" said a middle-aged man so gently.

       Hearing that Dei's tears just flowed away, a feeling now made his heart so deeply shaken.

       "Hey, daddy's daughter is crying!" the man immediately approached Dei and hugged her.

       "Have you had a nightmare?" ask the father.

       "Very bad dad," Dei replied, making the man smile.

       "Dad! Don't go anymore either." Dei said making his father speechless.

       "Look at dad! I will never leave my daughter."

       "Even one day, if you leave... Dad will always be in your heart" he continued.

       "Promise."

       "Dad promise."

DUARR.....

       How shocked the two of them were, when suddenly the sound of lightning was so loud. How not the weather that was originally so bright is now dark because it is covered by cloudy clouds.

       Dei directly hugged his father so tightly that was instantly reciprocated by his father as well.

      "Dei's father was afraid," Dei said.

      "Don't be afraid I'm here with you."

      The man smiled as he rubbed his daughter's head so gently. Because it was so comfortable, Dei slowly fell back asleep in the warm embrace of the father.

       The beginning of the silent atmosphere was now disturbed by the voice of someone who continued to say the sentence repeatedly.

       "Dad... Where's dad."

       "Dad... Dei's scared."

       "Dad, Dei wants to come with me...." The sentence came to a halt, as the owner of the voice opened his eyes slowly.

       Now he was completely awakened from the dream, where now he sat on the floor near his bed. Dei straightened his body, looking around him that still felt so sad.

...~~~...

       After seeing his mother in Dei's room heading to the kitchen, he saw Tante, who was cleaning up the rest of their dinner. At first he wanted to help but Erin forbade him and told him to rest.

       "Dey! If you want the orange in the refrigerator, this afternoon aunty just bought," said Erin.

       Dei just shook his head.

"Tan! Mama's still mad at Dei?" asked Dei Suddenly and made Erin instantly speechless.

       Erin approached her father. "Your mom isn't mad at you, she just needs her own time." Clearly Erin and there was no response from Dei.

       "Yes, you have rested in the room, after all it is late at night too."

       Hearing that, Dei nodded and headed straight for his room, but he just wanted to make a move.

PRANGS!

       Dei immediately fell limp with so shocked, the sound of broken plates that he accidentally hit, making him so scared. Seeing his bangs, Dela was so shocked and immediately hugged her bangs.

       "T-tan! The voice... I-tuu's voice.." said Dei trembling.

       "Dei, Dei look at auntie, don't worry about just the dishes." said Erin as she held Dei's trembling hand.

       "That voice... Athar...."

       Seeing his nephew, Erin could not hold back her tears. He knew how traumatized Dei was by the new events he had felt.

       "Dad too... That voice...."

       "Dey... Fearful... Dei's afraid...."

       Erin directly hugged Dei so tightly. "You're not afraid, there's aunty here."

       Erin tried to calm Dei who was so scared, then she took her to the room to rest. When he reached the room, Erin put Dei to sleep who had started to feel calm, and accompanied him to completely fall asleep.

       Right at midnight which is usually so quiet, now called the room sounds so noisy. It looks like the owner of the room who is so very nervous, is looking for something that he usually put in his room drawer.

       He Dei, at this moment he was so very agitated, his calmness was always disturbed just because of a trauma. Dei was still looking for a small bottle containing a few grains of sleeping pills, it became a medicine that made him feel calmer.

       After finding the cure, Dei immediately took it without patience, after which he chose to sit on the bench without wanting to continue his sleep.

       Dei saw it, saw a girl who was really so messy, unconsciously her tears also dripped letting it flow to wet the dressing table.

       Dei saw some of the items on the table, until one tool caught his attention. A scissors was now in his grasp, he immediately looked back at himself in a glass that was in front of him now.

       Dei looked at the hair that had decomposed just like that. Until he remembered there was someone who always liked his long hair.

       "Let this unravel" said the man, unbinding his hair.

       "Why?"

       "Because your hair is so beautiful if it breaks down like this." Her praise makes a very shy smile boyfriend.

       And it was then, not with Dei who was now looking at him so pityingly. Her hair was now so ruffled, not as imagined. He closed his eyes and sighed slowly.

GreKK....

       The strands of hair that used to be liked by someone, are now scattered on the floor. Even some strands of hair were flying by the night wind that entered the room.

       Dei looked back at himself and now he was so different, there was no longer a description of the long hair that adorned him, now there was only a shoulder of hair that would accompany him.

       Dei looked back at himself, smiling. "Lord! Allow me to surrender."

SERIATE.....

November 12th, 2019

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Deirsh and Athar.....

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