Give Me the Freedom of Choice
the anxiety in his real self

actually this story knp I give with the name2 initials a lot of people2 that I protect here where the concerned know read😁 a little much about a person's personal life plus a little spice as flavoring words🙏 ⁇ 5️

I am not the author here I just learned to think2 like a diary where a little vent but do not mean to insinuate /neerka-nerka someone what else some people 🙏🙏🙏

we continue ya👌

I started to want to make a means of communication ,, color all my friends2 have it I have started to set aside a little money to buy a cell phone ,,,, I have ,,,🤭 that day I was shocked when siff 2 right in the afternoon jd home his malem ttup shop around 9 hours Karana ordinary day forget tp what day ya🤔 money sure HBS queue absent the same the body check queues are amazing,, right around 21.30 hours maybe it could be more so roughly,,,

I went straight to gate 3 of my usual boarding-house direction,,,

there I saw A sitting on a motorbike d standard parking two right d intersection exactly the road I was going to pass hehehe I was surprised not maen what's why,,, say happy yes happy ,, say sad yes sad Karana only on A I told a lot of almost nothing I cover from her all she knows about me ,,,, I told her a lot ,,,A that I consider a KK person on her I complain,, tell a lot of things,, but on A also I feel afraid of many things,,,which I've had a lot of past i ,,,because uda malem as usual rules of boarding must go home at 10 pagers definitely d klw konci ketok si d open but we have to enter through the stairs of the house of the boarding house through , living room,,,tv room As good as the dining room and kitchen longhouse Cui,,, how the taste is not good ,, fear,,, shy,,,while my room is the front 1 of the front tp d on the 2nd floor, the long ranking there are many rooms2 I forget how much 8 / 10 that is,,,,, I forget,,,I forgot for sure to go through that hallway I was scared, I'm a coward

I went straight home after d tari from the front of the workplace You buy fried rice also the same cost-kosan kosan his kosan very close to the workplace,,, while waiting for the fried rice so I tell you my wish to buy hp,, bang I want to buy my short story hp,,, A also responded to it,,,,, I want to buy my short story hp,,,maybe A often to what boarding to my place of work but I'm not there what I do not know for sure every holiday I must go jln2 with friends - friends ,,sometimes Saturday/Sunday chiff morning home afternoon we go somehow maen,,either condition SE times for sure it but I've never been the same anyone SE other same friend2 sometimes they are the same husband,,there's the same boyfriend yes I'm just a scallion where to go ngintil🤭 the next few days A came to see me in the morning2 d the workplace,,,maybe he saw I had a place to work but I never knew when he was coming ,,,again2 klw kluar from the door of the workplace uda there A sit there d there d his motorbike which is again parked on the edge of jln in the direction of kosan ku

A call me Hai I more or less that I also know who else A meet other SE I because it is the same workplace A where the cost A is far from where I live

da who sells his wife's wife friend he there is a counter he sells pulses but he wants to sell his hp ,ayo if you want to see first tanya2 aja his first word,,,

at the end we went to see that hp who would sell klw is not wrong Nokia 366i when I had the desire to buy a new phone but later klw uda enough money I ,,,his friend A said this is cheap klw want to take 500klb it's cheap used price hp lho era it taun 2005 hp is still expensive ,,,

finally A pay with a price that Tampa d bargain again quite his word for communication, I think yes for him use ,,, karna A also do not have hp

after d buy in the card in the contents of pls uda duda try to make a phone uda SEmua was in the test we went home A gave the phone for me to use,,,,,, I,,,yes that's the reason enough for communication,, some of the uda d save including no phone boarding house, and no phone office A work is A no hp

day after day passed, communication intertwined klw A contacted me,,,if I work again hp d locker there will be some missed calls there somehow from friend A who A borrowed from no tlpn021,,,

but I can't if I don't know who's calling ,, I can't possibly call back because it was a couple hours ago, so that's as bad as I've been through my 2 days , A keep calling sometimes yes to lift sometimes ya takterjawb ya fortunately2 Ngan that is

day after day I went through a lot with the same activity,, I began to saturate, and I began to know many friends not only 1 work ,,there are some friends of fellow boarding children from various tribes I know,,,MBK Ati said I moved costs only in place of MBK Ati cost there is empty and quite cheap,,, and compared to where I cost,,,after I saw I moved but my own room, near also in another alley is still the same2 d around it,,,but this mother costs her good ank2kos can order a meal all tar pay her all the same cost,,, lumayan klw again enter the afternoon mall kluar nyari eat pesen aja same mother kos,,,, kluar kluar nyari,,,d home mom boarding Karana her son kos mom open tutoring place English many ank2yang courses there ,,,,, the ,,,mom kos cm has ank1 her husband denger2 lecturer has another wife out there,,, jd sometimes there dvrumah kada Ng no,, home mom kos d below, d, d above for kos2san much,

at first A did not know I moved kosan ,, but still the same direction cm moved aja, I never tell it because uda too long jd maybe forget ,, I also never told it ,,Mungin do not need to, anyway A never nanya for what I told her I do think I

d new boarding place I know some new friends different working place, there are working d d d factory there d RS there d shop etc macem2

d here there is a tense incident right,, I'm afraid of people,,,so I rarely occupy my room in front of me more often sleep in the room MBK Ati who invited me to move there, then,

I feel like this place is more scary than my old place,,, I,,,

d there there is Wiwin, I there is a greeting from my friend name H , which is where the person,,, he ever met MBK with me,,,everyone there I call MBK klw engak,/brother, that's what I call to all residents kos Karana emang I was the smallest body and the youngest age at that time,,,MBK Wiwin H story often see you klw you through his house near here, our way past klw kluar entrance kosan alley ,,,, kluar ,,,but I don't know the people who maana Karana there are a lot of people we passed there d stalls in front of the alley d jalan2 on sit2 hanging out, we got a lot of people,jd I won't know which person with the feature2 MBK Wiwin called, I'll just say hello back

MBK Wiwin also delivered the greeting,, finally MBK Wiwin gave my hp no to that person,,,,, the,,,

there are some missed calls,, Klw tlpn from A Tampa d call the name I already know his voice,,,

that's how as bad as some x H calls because do not know dare tanya2 often phone that I picked up I died right ,,,so often the end of his MBK Wiwin story klw that no that phone it H he wants a direct acquaintance to meet,,,that's kira2 after meeting chat2 usual there is no other most eat2 so a few times jalan2 kluar just to go eat out eat home,,,

,,I just consider his two friends no more than that and still blom no dating status with whom,,,

some BLN runs because maybe uda start every A want to meet always can not not be d kos/communication start hard,, the color of BLN fasting more often overtime ,,go home early in the morning more and more malem coming home rame,, sampe2 sound HBS Karana hoarse tired,, work continues , sales increased manifold. more or less the length of time there may be 2mo not meet I same A Karan is busy too far, too,, H there are some x pick up klw uda too lazy,,,even close from work to cost,,H sure and believe klw I no girlfriend because emang cm through klw go to work together back home work during the fasting BLN almost no time for jln2,,,the frequency of overtime work continues to never kluar kos to open with klw again sif morning klw not overtime

so it was hari2 for 1mo

arriving when his lebaran arrived,, Oya d where I krj lebaran also open yes 1sif enter noon after noon the store opened,, I also entered d first lebaran,,,Because there are no brothers 😭😭 not also homecoming , HBS plan back and forth,, the same change of friends 1nya again,, so kira2

I prefer to sleep until noon because the takbiran store is still open until 12 pm,, again2 H pick up because he feels uda night is not good women at that time blom home,,,,,, because,,,but emang kastumer is still a lot not exhausted2 even though the door is closed not Nerima again who just entered from 10 pm cm still waiting to enter before 10 that's all,,throughout jln I quietly do not chat 2 Karana I his voice is not hoarse true 2no sound even though yelling,,,H know because emang it is the reality of his😭😭 night takbiran I sad d own room 2 empty, residents of the cost of working d PT on homecoming because of holidays ,,, there are those who come home to his ortu who just happen to be kos just so close to his real work place they are not regional children,, his parents there are still d jkt, Bekasi,, and,,Bogor is not far away

throughout the night I cried sadly , fear, this is the first leaflet for I away from the family, his usual klw lebaran must have been gathered,,

H entertain her via SMS,, the phone color can not be ,, there is no sound ,,

some x bales SMS, her end I sleep

arrive in the morning2 at about 11 am there phone Karana hp no d cas during sleep until noon,, jd each lift tlpn die,,

it turns out that the phone A but I confused want to be clear if Ke A klw I no sound want to tell Batree HBS hp dead,,,cb klw A no hp definitely easy to tell via SMS,, Still in confusion trying to cas hp while bathing neat2 uda salam salam same room residents there , including the same mother cost,,,,, 2,,,still blom no phone in again, hp sound no SMS, from H,, I klw uda wake up here acquaintance with his parents here eating ketupat,,,I answer shame why the feast must be rame ,, H original people here jkt,,, tenure, H said uda no people cm klu klamu klusi aja yes they 1house,,,,, H,,,

I still answer shame 2, and then again want to be ready2 enter work,, mom cost uda ngasih ketupat same cake2lebaran other uda enough kennyang answer I d balesan SMS

H keep saying no long ago , Karna H uda said there is a friend who wants to come his word ,, to his mother,,,,, to,,, Oya adk her H who is her close friend MBK Wiwin's close friend meaning her adk female H more KK than I

the end of his I fulfill the desire H to come to his house,, his house people d under different 2 houses to the side of the house of the boarding house,, klw d think2 not good klw tar through going to work ,,,afraid to say arrogant

because I cas blom there are contents yes I stay, it's just a moment ago anyway I want to go to work,, at least hp uda no Batre his ,,,,, no longer I want to go to work ,,,just up to I d house H,, completed the palms of various foods d really do ,,,H explain to the mother,,, KKK and adk there d the room ,,Mak I is again his voice serek hbs ,, jd not not do not want to chat but really no voice,,,at the end I just smile2 and slalu trying to talk but really no sound clear,, his throat pain,,,,,, no,,,jd I cm drink water Aqua glass only because do not dare to drink ice syrup that seger2 look so tempting a variety of colors and flavors, again drink I d shock the sound of H,, I,, I, again,,I it's there's a passerby , turns out that pass A Karan H know that A will come to meet I ,,, I confused how ,,,, I ,,,in the confusion I tried to nyari hp his I forgot klw hp d cas d room kos,,

Because lebaran day gate kos d open the namu people continue to there,,,,, the,,,maybe A nanya to mother kos and A naek to the top of the stairs there is a front d fitting d near the front pager to the side of the terrace, I began to panic,,,, I began to panic,,nyari hp and H do not know , klw hp I d cas d kos H trying to me call , its no I , because the room I do not d conci not also d close the window ,,,hordeng all open because they do not want to go to H's house

his room is the front ,,, d near the glass window there is a bench top his usual ank2kos will sit 2 chat while there are sun clothes ,,,,,, , 2 ,,,yes the core is often d in order to make sunbathing ,, the color is not allowed to welcome male guests2 klw women can maen but can not nginap,,,that's the regulation of kosan satiap in the area that I know yes,,,

maybe A call2 because there is no possibility of A sit2 can jd I again in the bathroom ngkin so think A is the room open window open so kira2, so do kira2, denger hp sound2 continues while no sign2 I will be seen,, A try to want to see Hp there is a tlpn of who is x that there d mind A,,,not maen shocked her I Karana it turns out that hp I there is a nervous and that voice is the voice of A,,, I was shocked afraid, how, how,, A call No H back,,,, A,,Turns out I blom change the name of contact no H no H d namein kak amoy,, because from the beginning I did not know klw H dapet no from MBK Wiwin,,,at that time brother amoy 1workman once said to want nyari2kos, I said there d,,,kak amoy asked no tlpn said kak amoy tar klw holiday and there was a time he wanted to see come there, ,jd I give no phone

jd no H hold2 missed phone calls and guess I no kak amoy jd that contact H d namein kak amoy d hp I,,,

A keep calling no whose contact name is kak amoy,, 'cause A see there are many SE times SMS ,, and phone,,,,,,,, 'cause there are many SE times SMS ', and,,,,,,I never thought this happened jd I never delete it SMS, tlpn because he felt no need,, it is not possible that A will check hp think I,,,,, because he felt no need, I,,,anyway right before his old uda SE time I did not meet A last,, A Uda often feel klw I began to avoid A Karana emang i uda difficult to meet,,,, I,,,Karana more often I ngehahis same time off buddy2 kan bosen d kosan continue,, I never know if I try to meet her,,,,,, I never know,,,,,Karana A felt I avoid her jd A often indignant2got clear,, bang uda nyari there chick,, who is an adult of the age of ,,,SE faith at least ready to make marriage with Karana purpose A find a wife instead of a girlfriend yes,,,,,,jd dira I A really uda may not come accidentally meet I was no alesan ,,,besides, I did not meet A more or less 2 months so it is like me yes klw not wrong, it's true😁🙏 continued 👌

A go somewhere do not know the subject uda diiat him through there , , while trying to make a phone no dinti no H td,, I go home to the boarding and ready to work,,,, I,,,it turns out that hp I d bring the same A,,, I fear ,, H SMS how to ask to the existing I,,, no. I called H to meet and a lot of things that A got to H,,, A said klw I was wife A, which again there is a problem,,,A asks H to stay away from I because I will soon return to A's house,, H shocked, but I do not know because hp uda is not in I's hand,,,, I,,,

I went to work,,, H asked if it was all right,, without power I don't know about what ,,,and how do I get it because I'm less healthy sound no jd free want how😭😭😭 until d work ,,,after a break around 3 o'clock because td entered the afternoon, I went down I again eat alone,, the store is a bit quiet that entered work also a little because many are holiday replacements yes,,,,,, the,,,I eat alone but there I not alone there are some people who eat 1 table the same I but I don't know who it is,, exactly the man2lah,, suddenly2 A comes ,,,, I don't know who it is ,,,maybe A Uda saw the atmosphere of td but I was not aware of it,,, how can A tau Klw I again eat,,, A said this is his person whose name is amoy,,,a lot of kata2 that A took out of his mouth with a tone of emotion,, I'm shy,, only 😭😭😭 would be clear also free,,,because A LG emotion and I again less healthy voice no ,, but dikit2uda began to exist,, not clear but his talk ,,,,,,,, but ,,,jd free😭😭😭A just keep talking non2 Karana I cm cry ,, crocodile tear base,, plain sook,, innocent though wild, sook,,,,, the,,,a lot of kata2 that hurt dengar😭😭😭2I only 😭😭😭 arrived the time entered because the break is almost finished ,,, I want to be ready2 naek to the top floor yes to the counter name her to the store,, back to work,,, I also know klw I want to enter,, tar home work I will pick up ,, wait,,, don't go where2 ,I also cm silent 😭 scared,