Imagery
section 8

" already cit, gabole shed tears again. You must be strong, okay! Gabby nyerah anyway gabby even though you are tired, kaka pamit go home first yes deck. See u next time"

Yes, that is my life, I can only hold my own body tightly, assuring me that everything will be fine as people say, even though I do not know when that time will come to me.

I paddled my bike back to my house no more tears wetting my cheeks because I had it all out there

Arriving at home I caught my father in the house, accompanied by a cigarette that was still burning

" have you stopped working?"

Ah lf I won't get the answer if I keep guessing like this

I walked towards my father, where the look in my eyes followed my steps more and more by pointing at him

" why come late? Are you going to starve your father? Or do I have to eat a rock for waiting too long?"

" i'm sorry sir, the image still stopped by the grave adek"

" what are you doing there? Huh huh? Do you want to follow your grandfather? Or do you really want your brother to take your death?"

I won't answer it and I will probably continue like that, why would I answer it if a slap would hurt my cheek.

" well sir, I'll cook the rice first. Then the image will go to the market to buy side dishes for tonight and tomorrow morning"

Dad nodded with a cigarette still on his lips

I rushed to the kitchen to wash the rice and immediately put it in an automatic rice cooker, without changing my uniform first with ordinary clothes I immediately went to see my father to ask for money.

" sir, Ira want to ask for money to buy side dishes in the market"

" money? Where do you get your Cit money? I quit my father's job"

I finally got an answer to one of my questions, but now I am getting confused to live this life. If you don't work anymore then my allowance and also the cost of electricity bills who can pay it off, do I have to work from now on? Ah that which before my eyes I have not found the answer, from which I will get side dishes if I do not have money

" but sir in the kitchen there are no side dishes at all, are you going to eat with soy sauce tonight? From tomorrow the image will be collecting plastic bottles finished school and buying side dishes for us to eat with the pack"

" what? You're gonna be a scavenger? Aren't you ashamed? You'll embarrass me then!"

" but sir? How are we gonna pay the electricity bill or whatever? Don't we need some money too?"

He was silent for a moment, like he was thinking big things.

" yes yes yes, you're right but I'll drop you off and wait for you in the city park"

It was strange to hear a statement from my father but what I had to say was not I myself who said that I would collect plastic bottles.

" you've gone to the front stall, just take the tofu and tempeh or just take what we need to eat. Just say tomorrow we'll pay for it"

" well sir, the imagery will depart now"

I immediately stepped my foot toward the stall we used to buy"

" mister can I owe you first?"

" what do you owe? And guess when to pay? You see, I have to turn the capital back"

" if there is sustenance tomorrow, I will pay directly"

" it's plastic and also books. You can record what you took here as well as the date"

" good sir"

Our conversation did not last long, the stall seller was very good because he wanted to give me debt. Or else I wouldn't be able to cook a decent meal for you

I immediately rushed to the house and cooked tofu and tempe with makeshift ingredients

Shouted the father who was still on the porch of the house. Hearing that I could not make his wish, I went to see my father and explained about the sugar that was also exhausted

" what's up? Why did you owe that too?"

" but pack an embarrassed image to go back to that stall, let alone the image of having to take that sugar with debt"

I answered honestly to my father without fear

" shame is what you wear! Your people are still wearing that rich full dress"

Yes what you say is true but what my day, I also have a shame this is shame or just the prestige that is usually said by young people. But I feel really embarrassed if I have to go back to that stall with the same purpose

" want to make coffee or you're out of the house?"

" sir citra?"

With glassy eyes, I could ask the thing that made my heart hurt, although usually I could only be silent when I heard the thing that hurt my heart.

" yes, father ngusir you! But it's a choice for you! Why are you at home dad if you can only trouble the father let alone you gabisa what and gabisa bragain pak like adek you! You should have died! Not your brother"

" dmkk"

It was as if my heart was broken to pieces by being hit by the deadliest bullet in the world

My eyes were glazed back, but this time I could no longer ask if I was that useless in his eyes? Maybe it's true but is it worth saying something like that to me? Or am I wrong again this time? Being a human being who is too sensitive? I didn't know I was confused about my own head. I was too tired to fight with the contents of my head that was always disturbing, if only I could be a little brave to face the world maybe I would not be this weak.

" want to stay here or are you ready what do you want?"

Ask my father in a high voice and with widened eyes spread fear in this self

No need with a word answer I immediately rushed back to the stall earlier to meet the request of the father, although still my shame smeared myself

With eyes still glazed with glass that sometimes these tears dripped down my cheeks, I did not let it be known to others.

I rubbed my two cheeks that were still wet and then accelerated the footsteps that had only been walking with a slow rhythm because of thinking too much about the words of the father who would continue to hurt my heart

" mister can I owe you sugar?"

" your deck again? Didn't you come here just now? Who missed out?"

Fortunately, the man did not make himself more embarrassed. And even he greeted her with a heart that I thought was chesty.

" heye yes sir I forgot the sugar"

My answer was short without forgetting to paint this smile on the lips to cover the wound that had been described by my swollen eyes

" how much neng? Sekilo?"

Duh if there will be more debt nominal dong, mending I owe half so that if there is new sustenance I will immediately buy a lot for stock at home.

" half a kilo sir"

The father smiled and gave me the sugar I asked for, and I saw he was writing maybe he was adding my total debt to this store

" was it written sir? The scroll?"

" huh yeah"

" if that's the image of saying goodbye, sir, thank you"

That way I immediately set my foot again to return home.

I saw that the dark sky was above my body, the dark color was a beautiful color to me. For to me dark and lonely are the most beautiful friends....