Missing Room
Episode 95's

For almost two weeks I tried to grab the attention of Mas Pras. I thought for only two—three days his heart would just melt into me, but it didn't.

He still survives in silent mode and will answer me with just his answer. Heartache is certain, but I think his heart hurts more because of me.

I let out a long breath after putting Aqila to bed. From then on he was unceasingly nosy to his sister.

Having two toddlers is a huge drain on my emotions. They need extra supervision, even though they have been helped by people who are employed at home still does not make me turn a blind eye. Because I also want Mas Pras to see me that I really have changed.

I sat down for a moment on the edge of the bed, with eyes wide open watching Aqila's toys strewn across the floor of the room.

I shook my head and smiled thinly. This thing I saw reminded me of my childhood. I like to play the most but when I never want to return the toy to the place that has been provided, I always leave it alone or worse I stay asleep. And in reality my bad attitude was decreasing towards Aqila.

But Mas Pras always assured me that young children can change if taught discipline early on. He said it was our job as parents to guide, to guide and to also be an example for our children.

The silence of Mas Pras for two weeks made me think of many things. The five years of domestic life we lived were lame.

I always feel down and think that I am the victim of a destiny that is in line with God. While the strength I built to undergo the household heresy is limited to reciprocal relations.

When I began to cling to getting out of bitterness and hoping to find happiness by pinning my big hopes on other men that's where the big havoc started.

Because in reality the business that I thought was a little more completed actually collapsed instantly due to his indifference which even provoked my sense of helplessness.

The space in my heart is uninhabited, and I have to admit that the self I initially hated and started to leave was actually the person I missed the most.

My tears have melted to flood both cheeks. In my heart I cursed this self that was too stupid.

Now that the door was knocked, I immediately wiped my tears and invited people from outside to come in.

"Mrs, Mr. Pras has gone home" said Ms. Siti after the door opened. I nodded, indeed I had told the house people if Mas Pras had come home asking them to tell me.

Before I left the room, I slowly kissed Aqila's forehead and continued out of the room to go to my room, because I believe Mas Pras was already in the room to clean himself.

I also waited by sitting on the edge of the bed. Beside me was a casual dress stel that I had just taken from the cupboard, I prepared specially for her.

A few minutes waiting for me to be disappointed because after the bathroom door opened I saw Mas Pras had worn full clothes. But I still tried to smile in front of him even though it was bitter.

"Mas already eaten?" my question was accompanied to go to him who was in front of the dresser combing his hair.

"Have eaten at the office" he said, sounding so flat as to bring a stream of pain in my chest.

I took my breath trying to stay calm, believing that he was testing me and I was trying to suppress the strong emotions of my soul. Then with a step forward I thickened my face, removed the shame, walk closer then move to my two hands to circle around her body hugging her from the side looking for comfort from her who I have longed for a few days.

"You know what, today the children are really unruly—," I deliberately paused my words, loosened my arms a little and shifted my body to stand right in front of him. Intentionally so that Mas Pras manatapku also responded to my story today. Because this is what I do lately, telling a long story with the aim of getting attention from him.

I took my breath before continuing. "Aqila is very difficult to tell, Razka in jahili to tears. I even faced them both. And when Razka was drinking ASI, Aqila instead asked to be bribed. Replaced the same Maak still do not want. He insisted anyway ask should Mama who bribe," said I mimicked the typical style of Aqila whining, showing it to Mas Pras.

"So then one hand was used to hold Razka while the other hand to feed Aqila. I can imagine how the children were spoiled for me," obviously I was already with a trembling voice and glazed eyes because Mas Pras just looked at me without giving any response.

I pulled both corners of my lips to smile, with my eyes getting hot, tears began to flow from the corners of my eyes. Many times I took my breath trying to remain as calm as possible, even though my mind felt so very painful because of his cold attitude.

I bit my lower lip before making another sound, "But trust me, your wife is not tired of children."

"Because I love them so much and so do you, Mas." I then hugged her tightly with a cry that I could no longer control.

To be Continue